Monday, December 17, 2012

Laying down here...

...with so much on my mind, headache, sore throat, bills that need to be paid, drowsy from the cough medicine I took, but unable to sleep.

And do you know that there is actually no one I can call and confide my 'feeling-down'' moments with? Oh because majority of my friends can't picture me having issues... They think because I readily dole out sound advise to them, then it means I have everything happening in my life figured out and perfectly fine... and the others just don't wanna know.

I made my New Years resolution (e this year and I promised to be more trusting, more forgiving and love compulsory.  I think I made a mistake by resolving to do all that.

If you trust someone enough to talk about your fly and crazy past and the shocking things you did then and the reasons why...I believe it's because you can trust them to know these things and handle the information as nothing more than the information it is. That its past and belongs there

Well at least that was what I thought. But obviously I thought wrong.

It's an exercise in futility hoping people you meet today will be open minded enough to think the best of you after you've told them the stories of your yesterdays. Lesson well learnt.

I've done my crimes, and I've done time for those crimes. I'll be damned if I allow myself  pay twice for a debt already paid and buried and flushed many years ago. I don't need this shit.

This post started last night... Somehow it's dragged into morning.

It's a new day to put a smile on someone's face...

 Go make some body happy today guys...anybody.

Nutty J

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Oral Sex = End of Relationship

'Jay I'm serious... I cannot bring myself to give or receive oral sex from anyone, its evil and I will not be a part of it'
It started as a joke, or rather I saw it as a joke... we had gone to service my car and three of us were in the car on our way back home when the conversation started thus:

'I wan open my own church now...' he said. I laughed out loud and made a dismissive sound like he was kidding and he goes:

'I saw a friend of mine yesterday, female... smoking in a public place. She told me she pastors a church'

'so?' I replied 'is that why you want to open yours?'

'Yes na.. how can a pastor be smoking? that means all of us can have a church then'

'What is wrong in smoking? show me for bible where dem talk say na sin' I replied half jokingly

'Jay what are you saying... if its not a sin why do people hide and do it'

'Well I don't know about other people, but you know me long enough to know that when I had some habits i never hid them'

'Why you no do am for your papa front' He asked. To this I gave a very loud this time the conversation had got me laughing so loud that I was almost in tears. I replied him and said:

''Oh come on... its just the same way I cannot give my husband oral sex in the presence of my father, and because I cant do that in his presence, does it ,mean my doing it behind closed doors is a sin too'?

That was how it started...the topic of how Oral sex is a sin... this coming from a man that I would have staked my life for in a bet that on this particular topic, he would be one to propose the motion that there is nothing wrong with oral sex. Instead I couldn't believe all the things that came from his mouth about oral sex. Mehnnn I fear my head.

'Are you saying that when you marry now, your wife is not allowed to have oral sex with you? based on what? are you for real' I was dead serious at this point.

'I am telling you... I wont even allow my girlfriend give me a blow job, in fact any girl who asks me for Oral sex, I would ex immediately, such a girl has been around the block for too long, I no fit marry that kine person... the evil spirit that follows homosexuality and lesbianism is the same evil spirit that follows oral sex. God forbid bad thing. Jay let me ask you one question... do you think Faith Oyedepo gives her husband a blow job? so why do you new generation ladies want to indulge in the sin of sodom and gomorrah?' ....Jay I'm serious... I cannot bring myself to give or receive oral sex from anyone, its evil and I will not be a part of it'

'I don't think there is anything wrong with oral sex, its part of foreplay...besides you both are legally married and your body is hers' and hers' is yours, so long as no one gets hurt in the process, I dont see it as wrong' boyfriend who had been laughing at the conversation all this while responded with that.

I didn't wait for the other guy to talk.. I quickly told him 'we have heard ooo'...cos me I don't want my boyfriend to start over analysing if truly oral sex is sin or not, I no dey for surprise inside marriage. Evil communication corrupts good manners/reasoning.

It did get me thinking though (you see why evil communication aint good)... what if my friend is right. Is it possible that giving or receiving oral sex is a sin after all and am I just not being open to the possibility that it might be...because I just don't want it to be a sin? Who wants to have intercourse all the time when there is another way, an enjoyable way for that matter to make him or her cum?

Do you think oral sex is a perversion that could lead to hell?

Nutty Jay.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Work and other news

So I had an interview with a Chinese Phamaceutical company last week Wednesday. The role was for HR Manager. That's a step up in career path for me. And the pay is similar to what I earn in my company that has still refused to re-open till now. 

After the interview when the manager i'm to replace asked if I wanted the job, hinting that I have to start by the end of this month... I humbly declined because  somewhere during the course of the interview she had mentioned that Saturday was also a work day...that was the deal breaker for me.

Two weeks ago working on Saturday wouldn't have been a problem, but that was before Unilag contacted me last week offering me admission for my masters program!!! Yaaaaaaay!! I'm going to have my Saturdays busy with schoolwork for the next 18 months that I ain't gonna be working on those days for anybody...thank you very much.  So thank God for me my people. 

So for now I'm still working at home for half pay (what a drag) ...meanwhile did I mention my boyfriend owns a primary school? No? He bought it over from his father two years ago...and has been asking me for sometime now to run it for him as the School Adminstrator and build it academically to standard. It sounds like a good idea being paid and getting a percentage from the profits like he offered, having my own time, pursuing the education alongside and making a difference in that school. But I don't know mehnnn... I feel like doing this might be somehow ooo...him being in charge of my paycheck and knowing my whereabouts most times... I don't know if that's a good idea ooo. What do you guys think? Besides now that I'm trying to focus completely on HR, won't doing this be taking me back to Administration? 

Meanwhile for all the food lovers here...let me show you a blog my friend Joxy showed me some days ago.  It's so cool... It's focused on Delta State's mouth watering dishes... Follow this link 

That's all for now folks. I need your feedback on the work thingy... 

Nutty Jay. 

Sunday, November 11, 2012


My thoughts keep me awake
Tossing and turning all night long as the quietness of night accuse me
I groan loudly with a soundless voice, filled with a hunger I can't satisfy
As worrying seem to be the only meal I eat these days

And when the lines fall pleasantly for me
They get erased by the guilt I feel
I don't know what to do
I don't know if I should do anything

I've always tried to do the right things
But now like Paul, I  do not understand what I do. 
For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
Who would help me....

Monday, November 5, 2012

Postinor2 and I

Aunty: '...but what does the federal government hope to achieve by banning one of the cheap and easy to get contraceptives?' She thought out loud... raising my head from my IPad where coincidentally I was already reading Linda Ikeji's blog post on the ban of postinor and silently laughing at the comments about tu-face, I responded thus:

Me: huh? Aunty it's Okada they banned oooo. Which rumor are you starting again

Aunty: taaa...haven't you heard that they have banned postinor2?

Me: how many things are they banning na? It's Okada I know they in the space of 2mins you've said they ban all of a sudden they ban Postinor2. Which is which?

Aunty: the contraceptive is Postinor2

Me: *insert dumb look* really? Why did they ban it? Is it painful?

Aunty: are you mad?  She was probably wondering what my problem was this afternoon, she had an exasperated look on her face

Me: wait I'm just asking na... Why are they banning it? Is the injection painful or what is their reason?

Aunty: which injection na? It's a tablet...postinor2 is a tablet... Two tablets

Me: for real? You don't say!!! Contraceptive now comes in tablets?  Wow!! I'm impressed. So what's the problem with this drug? Did it just come out? Is that why they are just discovering it has a problem?

   I asked innocently waiting for answers to my question... My aunt got up from her chair, looked at me like I was a character in cowboys & aliens and said:

'My dear make use of google...spending all your time on Facebook is doing nothing for your intelligence. Google 'Postinor2' so you have something intelligent to say when others are talking about it...mscheeeew'.

With that smart retort she went back to her giving her laptop her full attention...

Postinor ke! Postinor2 ni!  Federal government...small girls like us don't know such things ooo. LMAO

Nutty J

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Advantages of an Okada-less Lagos

1. Car owners can now drive in peace without having two extra sets of eyes at the side if each ear watching for reckless Okada riders

2. A lot of babies will be born into Lagos State next year, as pregnant women will no longer endanger the lives of their unborn babies by bouncing up and down on Okadas

3. Everyone can now safely arrive late to work at the same time due to traffic caused by a fallen tanker blocking the road. No need to panic that that over zealous colleague has abandoned his car on the road and taken a bike (to avoid the traffic) to the office while you are still stuck in traffic

4. As for those who have been praying that their boyfriend would step up, start rejoicing... Gone are the days of: 'honey...I'm missing you o, please come quick...take a bike naw so you won't be stuck in traffic'...psft! Now before he misses you unnecessarily he will think of providing your cab fare to and from Festac.

5. Lets not forget the health benefits of walking. Walking to and from work will help prevent obesity, arthritis, stiffness of joints...helps in bowel movements and helps you expel toxic waste through sweat thus reducing the risks of cancer.

6. Your chances of making heaven increases because no more bitter words and abuses on Okada riders will proceed out of thine mouth in the mornings and evening on your way to and from work.

7. Finally gossiping and unnecessary aproko will stop... I haven't figured out yet how the non-Okada issue will stop this...but I am convinced deep within that it will

Now I don't know about you...but Fashola is Working, Lagos is working...and I will renew my resident permit every time for Lagos State under his tenure.

Nutty J

Monday, October 8, 2012

Dear God...

I'm sorry I'm writing to complain, especially since it’s been ages I wrote you a letter. Please don’t see this as me complaining, I'm just confused right now and I no not who would understand why but you.

Yesterday started all sunny and rosy and good. Our instructor in church taught us the importance of prayers stressing the fact that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. Even in the evening when I went back to church with Bobo for the praise session that marked the end of the ongoing youth program, I was still walking on the end of the program my joy knew no bounds...I had peace. You know this Lord. 

Then I came home...late...or rather by 9:30 pm and you saw how my uncle greeted me with 'You...this your church when you go, you sure it wasn't something else you went for?'. That almost put a damp on my joyful state, but I remembered that the devil is always around trying to steal people's joy... him and his cohorts are the principalities we wrestle against... not flesh and blood (my uncle) I shrugged it off and laughed, even though I wasn't sure if he meant it as a joke. I went to the sitting room..made small talk with Bobo, talked about one of his fine married friend and how I admire him...made more small talk and hugged him good bye...noticed he didn't hug back, but what the heck, we have had a long day. 

You see Lord when I texted Bobo before bed asking him why he didn't hug me back, and why he didn't call to say he got home safe, and why he didn't pick my call when I called to check on him, I didn't expect to wake up to his reply which said 'Since you were fantasizing about Gbenga, my feelings went cold'... Father this is the part I don't understand and I told him so in my response. How could he not understand that I was joking? If I had romantic feelings for his friend would I have talked to him about his friend? Why is it easy for me to completely be myself with my friends but I have to think and rethink every word of every joke before I say it to him, then pray he gets it? Was that enough for him to go to bed without even calling to say something even if it was 'I didn't appreciate that joke'? Any ways thank you for reminding me again that its the devil trying to steal my joy...and Father I'm really sorry that I talked about his friend to him...cos it means my words kinda sorta somehow robbed him of his own joy. Teach me to remember that we are from different backgrounds. Please make him call or text me...its been 6 hours since I replied his text na. (5am this morning). I have apologized, and I don't want to be the one to break the silence.  
But Lord what is this new issue with my father now? Ever since I told him I would like to come to warri and show him whom I'm dating and planning to marry...its been one thing or the other. You saw when my aunt called me now saying my dad was asking her: why does she want to marry all of a sudden, and what plans is he making to get chartered in his accounting practice, and why is she going all the way from the south to the west to get a husband, and she is supposed to travel down first and talk to me about the guy first before bringing him to the house, and just a lot of long long list of what this, and what that and is my aunt sure the boy can take care of me, is he ambitious enough bla bla bla and that he isn't comfortable with the whole idea... see God I'm just confused...YOU know I have been telling Bobo to wait concerning this his quest to meet my father, cos I know he wont be ready for these questions with good know how difficult my dad is, now what will I tell Bobo that is seriously preparing to travel with me in two weeks time to meet my dad?  I don't know what to even pray about concerning this... should I pray against principalities and powers? Or should I ask the holy spirit to witness to my dad and convince him, or should I listen and heed carefully everything that popsi mi  is saying? 

I just tire...and right now, I don't feel much joy again, along the line from 4:45am till now, I think I lost it somewhere. Thou knoweth everything Lord... talk to me. I need direction and in the meantime,  I want my joy back, while we ponder over the other issues.

Thank you Sir.


Your Daughter
Princess Jay. 

Monday, October 1, 2012

I Love my Country... I no go lie

Yeah yeah I know you might have some *thangs to say about my great nation Nigeria, some good...some not so good, but as for me oooo.... I love Naija, I no go lie... I love my country na true word be this.

A question was posed online recently, asking people to give reasons why they were proud to be Nigerians... some of the responses cracked me up:

1. Nigerians are good people: friendly, warm and helpful (the helpful part is actually not a plus because it encourages laziness)
2. Nigeria is dynamic
3. Nigeria is rich in lovely culture and traditions
4. Nigeria will always give you a reason to laugh even if it gives you 10 reasons to cry
5. Its only in Nigeria people are suffering and smiling
6. In Nigeria anything can happen, you can be a Millionaire overnite without any trace of pre-success.
7. The people are patient
8. We are intelligent, sharp, and smart.
9. Nigerians like to *get sense instead of Wisdom. We like make our eye open than civilisation (bruhahahaha)
10. Its a place where I can walk around without fearing that one gun-slinging retard might come out from nowhere and start spraying bullets. (That's true)
11. Culture and priceless values.

Mennnnh... I had a swell time today celebrating the Independence day at the Eleko beach. I had fun o jare... Nigeria good or e no good, one thing is certain, her citizens are Independent people...we practically do everything for ourselves, supply our own light, water, we survive without good roads, without proper health care, without good jobs yes, I love my country ooo, cos I am one of those hard-working citizens. So Happy Independence Day to me and all the hard working citizens of this great country.... one day one day Nigeria as a country will be truly Independent... In Jesus Name!!!

So tell me three (3) things you love about being Nigerian.

Nutty Jay

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Award Thinz...

I read a blog and after the post, I followed a link (beneath the post) which led me to the Nigerian Blog Awards page... I didn't know that was on already.

Browsing through the categories, I began to wonder which one of them my blog falls into... I've never really thought about it until now. After much thought... I decided 'Nutty Jay's World' could safely be called a personal blog. Abi watin una think?

If you agree with me... Please visit the site and if you like my blog, nominate me for Best Personal Blog. To do that, copy this address and paste it in the box in front of 'Best Personal Blog' then submit.

You never can tell. I just might win. Thank you in advance for your nomination... I love you regardless.

Nutty Jay

Sunday, September 2, 2012

African Woman/ Lady

If you call am woman 
African woman no go ‘gree
She go say, she go say 'I be Lady' oh

She go say I be Lady o

She go say 'I no be woman'
She go say 'market woman na woman'
She go say ' I be lady oh'

I stumbled upon an argument on a group I belong to on Facebook, and the topic we were discussing was the advantages of marrying from your tribe. Someone made a comment and it goes thus:

''Somehow, it is easier when you marry someone who understands you, your tradition, the type of food you like, your people etc. For instance, in Urhobo land, a wife must respect and especially greet the relatives of the husband as if they are older than her as long as she meets them while contracting the marriage. A 30yr old bride will normally say 'Migwo to a 20 yr old inlaw according to tradition. An outsider will find this very strange. In other words, marrying from your tribe or region solves a great deal of marital problems. The Jews and Arabs will only marry their people following this reasoning!'

Now for those who don't know what the meaning of  'Migwo' is, I'll explain. It means 'I am on my knees', its a greeting a younger person gives to an older person in my tribe. The usual response is 'Vre-do' meaning 'Stand up, you have done well'...or something like that. Well it just doesn't feel right that I'd have to kneel down to a younger inlaw, someone I am older than, to greet him in the morning when I see him... or in the afternoon... or when he helps wash my car or something (Migwo is also used as 'thank you'). It doesn't make sense to me.. but this brings about serious disagreements in marriages. You hear learned men saying: 'you know its tradition, how can you greet my brother standing? eh en even if you senior him nko?'

She go want take cigar before anybody
She go want make you open door for am
She go want make man wash plate for her for kitchen
She want salute man she go sit down for chair 
She want sit down for table before anybody 

Nigga what? I don't want to be greeting my husband all the time on my knees... not to talk of his brother. What kind of stress is that?

 A man actually sent his wife packing once because she refused to greet him on both knees daily as well as kneel down when serving his food, her reasons were that its only God a human should kneel to... be ye man or woman.

So therefore... since I refuse to kneel down to my younger relatives in the future, does this make me non-african-like? Like Fela said, am I claiming 'Lady' and refusing to do the things a typical African woman should do? And meanwhile I hear that Yorubas also have this culture... I don't know about other tribes.

So guys, do you expect your wife to kneel for you and your relatives in Marriage? Women... is this something that is okay for you to do in this jet age.  Lemme know...

Also, what other tribes have similar terms and conditions for the women they marry? 


Nutty Jay

Monday, August 27, 2012


Often times, we have been in situations where we do not know what to do. We don't know if we should go Left, where nothing seem right...or if we should go Right, where nothing is left. We rationalize... we ponder on what to do, we read books, we talk to friends and some times put up a brave front and act as if it doesn't matter. But we know what we feel in those quiet moments when we are alone, when no one is watching, when we are left with out thoughts and fears and uncertainties...when we know time is running out and we need to make a decision fast...and we fear that the decision we make might not be the right one.

At times like this, you need to go to Nineveh

Nineveh  a small town in Indiana that has a 4-way stop, a laundry mart, a fruit stand, a feed & seed.....and a few crappy, I kid I kid but that's besides the point. Nineveh in my mind, is a place where you really do not want to go,   Nineveh is that option you don't want to pick... your head tells you that its a waste of time, your body tells you that's not where the answers to your questions are... your friends cant imagine what the heck you are packing up to go do in Nineveh...the people there are not your class, they are not of your social strata... you need to be anywhere else but there. I mean you are just too cool to agree to Nineveh

But then...Nineveh is the place where you find your peace, not necessarily because its a peaceful place, but because its where God says you should go. Often times, our spirits (hearts) already shows us the path we should take...but we allow our soul (mind) talk us out of it, by giving us solid ground breaking iron tight reasons why it shouldn't be so... Like Jonah, we'd rather go elsewhere because we just don't know how going down that lane would benefit us, and so we keep searching for answers, answers that we have already gotten but are too intelligent/wise to see.

Nineveh may not be the final destination... but it could just be the lane that leads you  to the right path.  It may not be lined up with roses...but it would bring you peace. It may not be what you want, but it is what you need. God doesn't send you anywhere without a reason... The question is: do you trust HIM enough to obey?

Most people would have been millionaires by now if only they hadn't scorned that job offer letter they received then to work in that company (Nineveh) that looked too lowly for their degree and status... 

Most ladies wouldn't be weeping and living in regrets today because they married the wealthy, tall, dark and handsome man of their dreams who turned out to be nothing but a wife beating cheat...If only they hadn't run from the man their spirits felt at peace with, all because he is short, chubby and just 'comfortable' (Nineveh). Right?

What, who or where are you running from?

Nutty J

Thursday, August 23, 2012

On your marks... Get Set.... Job hunt

Like I told my cousin some days ago, a bored Jay is not a very normal Jay...  So I've decided to seriously begin hunting for job... Men can wait for now. The half pay I am currently receiving since EFCC closed my office, isn't doing much for me and all my plans I've made for this year and that my dear, is deflating my Morale seriously. I like making money... more than a lot of things. So my eye dey *shook* seriously

So I've decided to go full throttle and begin guerilla job hunting. To help me achieve this, I decided to go off Blackberry... I had planned on taking a break from Blackberry for sometime now, but there always seemed to be a reason to hang on and stay back... long story short on Tuesday after my BIS expired, I decided not to renew it...and subconsciously tagged my going back on BB on getting a job. That is, the day I get back into an office (new job or current job) is the day I get back on blackberry. That means I need to intensify my job search and prayers because I miss my groups and gossips and friends on Blackberry already that it breaks my heart... I sometimes don't know why I punish myself by deprivation most times. Is it normal?

In between hunting for jobs... I discovered some blogs that You all should check out... I promise you, you would enjoy chilling with these blogs:

1. : these guys are just the best.... They talk about everything and anything and get as much as 700 comments per post.

2.  : this baby is just so funny in her almost confused state... She's new on blogger so show some love, remember when you just started blogging and needed morale support too, so go and support her...oh and  her posts are debate worthy too

3. :  So I hardly go on wordpress right? But this blogger has got me stalking   this blog every Monday morning. I had to read from the very first post till date...  Most of you already know of 'Oyin Cleg' right? Eh en...this is the blog.

So now that I have most graciously given you very good reading materials (remember to thank me in your comments)... would you in turn be gracious enough to point me to the vacancies you know of in your offices and your father's offices, and your mother's office, or FiancĂ©es' offices... or even your children's offices?

Send all the links for job vacancies related to Administration/HR and even Document Control to me at

...its a serious matter, I pray I dont have to go on AIT and NTA and announce that I'm looking for work... like I said, a bored Jay, isn't a very normal one.

Thanks for stopping by... lots of love from me to you....


Nutty Jay

Monday, August 13, 2012

Settling for Less

Yes... I heard a sermon in the Redemption Camp that was titled 'DONT settle for less' that was on Friday last week... it was a sermon preached by Pastor Joe Olaya.

Immediately I heard the title, I dropped my blackberry back in my handbag, not bothering to keep an eye on it again in hopes that network would miraculously appear so I can send a quick message to a friend in Canada, my full attention was on this preacher whose voice seem to grab the attention of all including those dosing off on their seats with their mouths open two mins ago, on a subconscious level I was already expecting to hear this sermon linked to how we singles should be careful not to settle for a spouse that isn't what we deserve all because of Peer Pressure  (you see how my mind works these days?)... because a good hunter is one who is willing to grab good information and use it if it would sharpen her hunting be so?

Well sorry to disappoint you, the topic was not about that at all... but come on, I wouldn't be much of a friend if I dont share it with you because the preaching touched me... chei! hope I haven't scared the desperado singles away

He gave an example with Esau and Joseph. In the mind of Nutty Jay (but based on the examples the preacher gave) this is how it is

Esua came in from work (I like a man that works hard) hungry, I'm sure he wasn't married then because if he had someone like me, my hot self and a hot meal will be waiting for him, he wouldn't have had cause to be tempted my brother Jacob's meal (Guys see one good reason why you need to marry me?)  and because he knew Jacob who was always at home (I don't like a man that stays at home joor) must have made lunch, he went over to see if brotherly love would make Jacob offer him food... after exchanging pleasantries and waiting to no avail for  brother J to say 'Hey bro, please join me' Esau the hard working dude took the initiative and asked: 'Bros that food looks good, I hope it tastes as good as it looks'. So long story short Esua was hungry and almost fainting and Jacob who probably spends all his time in the kitchen reasoning out things, made him an offer he couldnt resist. And Esua who wasn't thinking (remember he was hungry and almost fainting na) sold his birth right for Chicken stew with assorted meat. All he wanted to do at that time was satisfy his hunger, didn't want to develop ulcer, didn't want to die of hunger...he wasn't seeing beyond that hunger, he didn't remember the significance of his birthright that wasn't bringing food to his stomach. So he settled for less (food)...and lost his heritage and blessing and everything to Jacob. What was Esua thinking? Nothing else apart from food


Then there was Joseph… good boy, daddy’s favourite…the envy of his brothers…the bright one, the promising child. He is one of those annoying people that things always seem to work for every time. He had a dream (like Martin Luther King), that one day this nation will raise up and bow before him and call him Igweeeeee. He had a vision for greater things God had in store for him, then his brothers contemplated killing him just for dreaming (na wa ooo) then he was sold into slavery…I’m sure there were times he went dayz without food (somebody should tell Esua that), then through diligence he became the general manager of Pothipher’s house (I hope u know the story). And then on one faithful day, Oga Madam came and said:

Darling…there’s just something about you that turns me on, I look at you and u remind me of my dad…you are not like all these boyz your age who do nothing but drink and smoke and don’t seem to have any ambition… come o, what drives you, whats ur secret for success

Ah..Madam, its God ooo…we thank God, thank you for the compliments’…he must have replied blushing and grinning from ear to ear…

awww you are so cute when u talk like that, kiss me please…ah han why are you drawing away, its nothing na,  I promise not to tell anyone…wait Joseph listen, just this one time, help me out na my husband is never around, I’m horny, just once and your life will never remain the same, I’ll make sure you get anything and everything you ever ask me and my husband for etc etc

… but Joseph was thinking about his dream, his vision, the plan of good he knows God has for him and he ran, he refused to settle for less…even though he knew he might suffer dearly for it (which he did)… but you see the good thing about this is that whatever trouble Integrity, Uprightness, discipline or the Fear of God puts you in, those same quality would bring you out of that trouble and even to a better place. Check out Joseph na…did he not become prime Minister over Mr. and Mrs. Pothipher?


You know those times when you say 'Yes' instead of 'No'...just because it is easier? and its less hassle... at those times, you are settling for less. Sometimes its the hunger for quick profit, or the uncertainty of 'What if'... or the temptation of 'Social acceptance' that make us do things that brings us instant gratification and satisfaction, making us lose sight of what and where we are meant to be. For example, if Joseph had said 'Yes' to the Mrs., he would have remained in that exalted and envious position of General Manager...all in the name of 'Keeping my job in this bad economy' after all no one would know . But the thing is He would never have become a Prime Minister, which was his destiny. He would have settled for less. So while Esua wasn't thinking... Joseph was. He knew that trading his destiny for the pleasure and satisfaction for today, wasn't the kind of life he was made for. 

May we not truncate our God ordained destiny for the satisfaction and comfort of the moment. May we not settle for less.

Meanwhile what do you think? Do you think that no matter what we do, our destiny cannot be altered? please let me hear your opinions on this, also...what do you think would have happened if Joseph's Uncle, Esua had said 'No' to Jacob's offer? 

Nutty Jay. 

Monday, August 6, 2012

Peer Pressure

Its funny how I never ever gave much thought to this peer pressure thing until I started seeing my friends getting married one by one... today its a display picture to show a platinum ring with the accompanying display message that reads 'Oh my gosh! baby yes! yes!! yes!!!'

Tomorrow its another person sending an invitation to for her wedding... and next tomorrow its yet another person inviting me for hen night.... and yet one more for baby shower. When it became a tad annoying was when the guys my age began to send me wedding invitation too... Chei!! I understand girls marrying young, but guys you too??????? abi is 27 too old to be single?

And then the question starts rolling in...

Friend one: 'Yes ooo, thank you for your compliments, na God do am, so shey you are coming with your bobo?'

Friend 2: 'Babes make we do come chop rice ooo, which of the guys would be the lucky one'

Aunty: 'You no go do make you marry ooo, all these my lovely baby things you want me to dash them out to another person abi?'

Friend 3: 'Its best you settle down in your twenties o, e hard to find man in your thirties'

Mummy: 'Are you still praying? ask God for guidance, you are not getting any younger'

Pastor: 'Beauty sisters stop all this choosy character of yours and be prayerful about your partner to be...when I met my wife....etc etc'

Friend 4: Babes... na wa you open eye reach you no dey talk of marriage at all?

Recently, this is how I think on Saturdays

You see when such comments come in, with the advise that is quick to follow after any response I give (Negative or positive) , I act indifferent and laugh it off and tactfully switch the conversation back to them... but the mind is a silly thing, a seed has been planted in my mind and at night, it tries to fix its roots firmly there, such seeds are like broken records that plays the most annoying parts of the conversation over and over and over again. those annoying parts, unfortunately are thought provoking leaving one question ringing in my head over and over:

'Nutty Jay... you no wan marry?'....

Its funny... when Oyibo man talked about 'peer pressure' one takes it seriously, until the pressure actually comes.

Any ways if you are a man or woman of marriageable age reading this and you are not yet married, please be reminded that you are not getting younger, your looks wont last forever, don't be so choosy that you miss out of your God given partner..shine your eyes, etc etc... eh en, no be only me go dey pressured for marriage

And if  you are married and you are reading this...please advise us the single ones how to deal wiht all these pressure na....

Nutty Jay.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

God Forgive My Office oooo...

I prayed that prayer some days back. You know I lost my job late last year after the surgery I went for and the three months I spent recovering.

I got another one end of March this year (Thank God)... more responsibilities and better Job description

Now EFCC has listed us as top 20 companies to be arraigned in court for this fuel subsidy scam ...:(

So since last month we have been working at home for half pay... I don tire oooo

I get on my knees 

I've asked God to forgive the office for the 1.3billion Naira thiefry (covers face in shame) they are being accused of...for my sake na. I dont know how to function outside a structured work environment.

Which kine local trouble be this???

Do you think God will forgive them for my sake? or is it asking too much?

Worried Nutty Jay

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

We Are The Choices We Make

Oscar Wilde once said  ‘Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation’.

I tend to agree with him because most people are basically living their lives for others… and I don’t mean that in a good way, I am not talking about how you want to be blessed so that you can be a blessing to others… which is good, but unfortunately that isn’t what I’m up at this time of the night to talk about

We live our life consciously or subconsciously to please others…As toddlers all we sought for was the approval of our parents, channelling our energy into doing all they expect from us just to get that smile of approval or that twirling in the air as they raise us up high in the air whilst we giggle in excitement. 

We went to school and sought for the approval of our teachers…and getting good grades became our goal because we heard our father say 'My boy is going be tops in his class'... or just to get in his good books...In high school, there was this underlying need to get the approval of our friends…Doing all we could think of to be one of the ‘cool kids’

Then we grew up go to the university, graduated, and began doing things to get approval from the society…Became doctors even though our passion is fashion designing, got married at 26 even though we knew we were settling for less but we did it anyway because someone passed the memo that age 30 is the cut off mark for ladies and they have to make sure they marry the 'available' man immediately before it’s too late, so we did even though we knew he didn't tick even half of our check list...we go to all the meaningless social functions on weekends even though all we want to do is curl up and sleep on Saturdays to rejuvenate after a hard work week, at least for health reasons, but no...we still go for the meaningless functions anyway so that we can grace the pages of City People. Our decisions are lined up with family/friends/colleagues and societal expectations so that we are not perceived as social misfits.

Doesn't it give you a headache just thinking about it? When exactly do we start living for ourselves?  Doing the things we want because and just because it’s what we want to do and damn the consequences of the actions and/or what anybody has to say about it good or bad... at least you made them for yourself!!! Yourself!!!!!!!!!

When do we start living our lives for our own self??? Are we so far gone that we forget that we are responsible and accountable for every choice we make, how we choose to live our lives, good or bad, regardless of whom or what influences these decisions? So why don't you do the smart thing by making these choices yours... why don't you do it because it brings you fulfilment, and not because of ‘what will people say’... what are we so afraid of? Not getting the necessary approvals from our circle of influence??

A dear friend of mine said the following lines to me recently:  

'Choose your path, don't let your path choose you
Choose your friends don't let your friends choose you
Make things happen, so that what happens around doesn't define you
Because either way you will be held responsible and accountable for your actions
So why not be the cause and sole reason for those actions'    ( I paraphrased)

My advise: Don't waste your time living someone else's life...because you see...ultimately...we ARE the CHOICES we make.

Nutty J...

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I miss you

...and you and you and you too... I miss you guys. I don't know what is wrong with me. I hardly even visit blogger these days.

Please know I'm still here. Don't forget me

Just wanted to let you all know that I miss you and love you.

Kisses and Hugs

Nutty J

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome... the reason I am here blogging at this time of the night and I want to just say that it is not fair for women to undergo this and many more of the hormonal changes we go through all in one month.

First comes the pre-menstrual syndrome which annoys me thee most, which some times lasts five (5) days, and when it comes it comes with:

Physical symptoms of:

  • Breast swelling and tenderness.
  •  water retention, weight gain.
  • Changes in bowel habits.
  • Acne.
  • Food cravings, especially for sweet or salty foods.
  • Sleep pattern changes.
  • Fatigue, lack of energy.
  • Decreased sexual desire.
  • Pain and low back prior to menstrual bleeding.
Behavioral symptoms of:
  • Aggression.
  • Withdrawal from family and friends.
Emotional and cognitive symptoms include:
 sadness, hopelessness.
  • Anger, irritability.
  • Anxiety
  • Mood swings.
  • Decreased alertness, inability to concentrate.

 ....then the Menstruation begins which lasts five days (for me) with all its associated pain and discomfort that sends one running to the medicine cabinet and getting you so drunk/groggy on drugs in order to kill the pain, so that you can concentrate on everyday activities around you ... and after that when you are beginning to relax and  enjoy life Ten (10) days or so later Ovulation begins and drives you nuts cos you feel constantly like a she-animal on heat. And it doesn't take long for the whole cycle to begin all over again from the top.

And one is expected to go thru all these every month with a smile plastered permanently on one's face???

Is this fair? Because it seems like the woman was created to go nuts every month.... and men keep wondering why we act crazy sometimes? hahahahah...What a laugh!!!

Nutty J

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Taking That Step...

...could be one of the hardest things we can imagine. Especially when we mull it over and over and  analyse and over analyse. Most times we have solid ideas that if actualized can make all the difference we have been praying for, but 98% of those times that is what it remains: SOLID IDEAS

So I have learnt to ask myself:

What's stopping me?

The answers are almost always the same:

1. Fear of Failure
2. Laziness
3. Uncertainty

What you can do... is get out of your own way, and just do it. Don't spend all the time thinking about it instead of acting on it. Just do it

In case you don't succeed... pick yourself up and try again. 

Just do it... you will never know for certain 'what could have been' until you try.

Till the next one,

Nutty J

Friday, January 20, 2012

Your Own Flesh and Blood

The hardest battle I've had to fight so far in life is the battle with my flesh...arrgh!!! when I say flesh, I swear I think of meat, so let me just exchange 'flesh' for 'Body'... I don't understand the beef  quarrel my body has with me. Its like its determined to annoy me every way it can. I diet...still I find my body increasing in size. Last week I went from a 62kg to a 59kg and I was shouting my testimony from the roof top only to weigh myself again today and I'm at 61kg... using the same scale. And I pause and I wonder what the hell did I eat within one week to bring back the weight, considering the fact that I stuck to the same diet. Except maybe for those three (3) mornings I ate peanut butter with my bread for breakfast. But then how come my own flesh allowed me hunger and taste for it and then eat it.???

But does it end there? No!! Its like my body read my Resolutions for the year and has determined to frustrate my resolve. What has not happened from then till now? I cant count the temptation o, my resolve to forgive has been tested and tried so much in these past week than in the last 10 years... on one occasion I almost went from my black beauty to green with envy when someone got something I had hoped will come my way, I had to call myself to order when I remembered that Love conquers all (including jealousy)... gossiping was almost creeping in along with its cousin 'Pride' and its neighbour 'Lust of the flesh' when I paused and thought  'No... no way...this is going too far!!' But I thank God for delivering me from the hands of flesh. Because it is obvious I cant trust my own flesh and blood to do what is right on its own..

You see experience has shown that the Devil isn't really your greatest enemy. Lemme rephrase that, the devil is the generic enemy... he doesn't really have a hold on you. You should beware your flesh... your flesh, if not properly watched, will open the main gate and parlour door for the devil walk in. Its your flesh that makes it easy to back-bite, to lust after another person's spouse, to commit adultery and bear false witness, to lie and take bribe, to cheat, to get angry and beat your chest and say 'Do you know who you are talking to?'... to treat your neighbour in a disdainful manner, to cringe when someone asks you for help... its your flesh that makes you say 'Never, I cannot talk to that person again'. Because the flesh is just too damn lazy to do the right thing. Have you noticed how hard it is to do the right things? It takes strength to say 'I am sorry' to someone who has offended you and is in non-speaking terms with you. It takes a stronger man to say 'No' to pre-marital sex... it takes strength not to give a listening ear to gossip... its hard not to indulge in the feeling of pride, its hard to give a genuine compliment to a stranger, its hard to be good to others without expecting anything in return. Its so darn hard becos the flesh is so darn weak.

So do you struggle with your flesh like I sometimes do? Do you wish you can stop disappointing yourself and God? Do you wish you have the grace to turn the other cheek when someone hit you hard? Then it means there is still hope for you... it means your spirit is still on the right track because it is still fighting to overcome the flesh, the flesh which is of a sinful nature. I mean if you no longer feel a tug in your guts when you are about to do wrong then your case is different ooo... maybe you need to check yourself well. But when you still feel that fight between your spirit and your flesh, then take it a bit further and put that flesh under subjection before she ruins you (its easier for me to think of the flesh as a she). How can you put that bitch her under subjection? By Fasting and Praying... by saying 'No' and acting right no matter how hard it is... by asking God to help you. Do it now. Jesus's strength is made perfect when we are weak

Quote: Galatians 5: 17 'For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.'

Till the next one

Nutty J

Monday, January 16, 2012

Its after Midnight....

...and I'd just finished watching 'Kim Possible' which came up after 'Sonny With A Chance' on Disney Channel. I just cant seem to avoid having a dose of Disney channel everyday and even my friends perceive it as weird that I watch that channel, I cant seem to get enough of it. I reached for my phone as it vibrates, the red light indicating I just received a Black Berry Message:

'So how did your day go naw...I'm missing you ooo'
'My day was great...and yours?' I replied
The phone vibrates again before his response comes in and I switch chat box to respond to who was asking:

'eh...not really just chilling watching TV'
'Thank God the strike has starts tomorrow'
'Good for you... at least you have rested well' I responded

....a group alert came in and I clicked to check what was going on there...some of the member's of the group reside in America so its normal for them to be up joking and laughing over some not so funny things...I dropped a 'LOL' comment and went back to the first person I was chatting with since he had responded a while ago and continued chatting... flipped the channel to TBN...hoping I might get Joel Osteen (no luck) went to MTV Base and nothing interesting there too... went to the kitchen... opened the powdered peak milk tin, got a spoonful of powdered milk, threw it in my mouth and allowed it dissolve (oh the joys of peak milk) and walked back to the sitting room. It was some minutes past 1am

My phone rings at this exact moment and I ignore it, what is bringing mid night call play (mscheeew)... flip the channels some more, get bored...switched of TV... went into my room, checked 'Recent Updates' on BB and dropped a comment for two people which reads 'Una no dey sleep? Witches' ...that's when I thought of browsing, logged onto Yahoo to check out what new job alerts I had received. One caught my fancy...applied for it. Came to Blogger...checked to see if Taynament  had responded to why a Redeemer is a deal breaker....she hadn't.... then checked out Kay's Corner and found him ranting.... by now it was well past 1pm.

When  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said that '"The heights by great men reached and kept, were not obtained by sudden flight. But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night'  I think he meant something different from these my nightly rituals. Sometimes I read a novel all through the night and fall asleep by 4am and wake up by 7am, and its not as if I'm waking at that time because I need to go somewhere...I just cant seem to sleep. The sleeplessness wasn't a big deal when I was working, then I fall asleep by 11pm...start tossing and turning by 3am and I'm up by 4am to get ready for work. But now I feel the insomnia is getting worse.

How do you guys sleep? And sleep without a sleeping pill or a glass (or two) of wine. Tell me... I want to sleep ooo, this habit of sleeping in the morning and waking in the morning everyday has gat to stop!!! 

Good Morning

Nutty Jay