Saving it for later?

I'm expecting my salary any time soon, and as practical as I am I have done a break down of what and what are already placing demands on the yet to be received salary for this month.

At the end of the calculation I see that there is almost nothing gen gen  remaining. Mind you I have not deducted the underlisted bills:

- Hair do for March
- Nail do for March 
- Washer man bill for February
- Recharge card to use in March 
- Data Bundle Renewal for March (Note that I didn't renew for February)
- Movie nights


The above listed things are very important to me, they seem inconsequential but they are important to keeping me sane(r)

Now why am I saying all these, I had a discussion with a friend recently, a financial guru and after the discussion I felt like I wasn't saving enough for the future or for the good things I could be obtaining in life. I do save mind you, but he made a case that at least 40% of my salary should be saved and I was like: GERROUT OF HERE. I even tried explaining that saving up to 30% was easy for me one time when I had a boyfriend but not so easy these days but he wasn't buying all that.

So I got thinking, is it so easy for people to save 40% of their salary...I mean people without another source of income, or support from family or partner/spouse/etc.

Don't they pay tithe, don't they buy fuel, don't they give offerings, don't they make their hair, don't they buy food stuff and provisions, don't they use gas, don't they give to family members when the need arises, don't they run generator, don't they buy gifts etc... and it doesn't even matter how much they are earning because the more money you earn the more bills you incur since your level of living improves, don't they have fees to pay doesn't matter if its a school fee for self or a course in church or a professional course

So is it just me, or is 40% actually doable? without being stingy and miserly.

Is your salary  enough to live a stable balanced life and still have good money saved up in a bank??

Peer Pressure

Its funny how I never ever gave much thought to this peer pressure thing until I started seeing my friends getting married one by one... today its a display picture to show a platinum ring with the accompanying display message that reads 'Oh my gosh! baby yes! yes!! yes!!!'

Tomorrow its another person sending an invitation to for her wedding... and next tomorrow its yet another person inviting me for hen night.... and yet one more for baby shower. When it became a tad annoying was when the guys my age began to send me wedding invitation too... Chei!! I understand girls marrying young, but guys you too??????? abi is 27 too old to be single?

And then the question starts rolling in...

Friend one: 'Yes ooo, thank you for your compliments, na God do am, so shey you are coming with your bobo?'

Friend 2: 'Babes make we do come chop rice ooo, which of the guys would be the lucky one'

Aunty: 'You no go do make you marry ooo, all these my lovely baby things you want me to dash them out to another person abi?'

Friend 3: 'Its best you settle down in your twenties o, e hard to find man in your thirties'

Mummy: 'Are you still praying? ask God for guidance, you are not getting any younger'

Pastor: 'Beauty fades...so sisters stop all this choosy character of yours and be prayerful about your partner to be...when I met my wife....etc etc'

Friend 4: Babes... na wa ooo...as you open eye reach you no dey talk of marriage at all?

Recently, this is how I think on Saturdays

You see when such comments come in, with the advise that is quick to follow after any response I give (Negative or positive) , I act indifferent and laugh it off and tactfully switch the conversation back to them... but the mind is a silly thing, a seed has been planted in my mind and at night, it tries to fix its roots firmly there, such seeds are like broken records that plays the most annoying parts of the conversation over and over and over again. those annoying parts, unfortunately are thought provoking leaving one question ringing in my head over and over:

'Nutty Jay... you no wan marry?'....



Its funny... when Oyibo man talked about 'peer pressure'...no one takes it seriously, until the pressure actually comes.

Any ways if you are a man or woman of marriageable age reading this and you are not yet married, please be reminded that you are not getting younger, your looks wont last forever, don't be so choosy that you miss out of your God given partner..shine your eyes, etc etc... eh en, no be only me go dey pressured for marriage

And if  you are married and you are reading this...please advise us the single ones how to deal wiht all these pressure na....


Nutty Jay.

Single Ladies Matter

On the facebook platform I've been termed names ranging from 'Feminist' to 'Man-hater' to 'Lesbian' and some of these people have it in their head that I do not want to get married. Their reasons range from the fact that the notes I publish there and sometimes status updates I post are men bashing and not 'feminine' enough. I have been advised countless times that if I want to get married I should stop talking about things that might annoy men and don't make any controversial comments.

What they say make perfect sense... but not to me. I don't know how many of you out there are still in the market...as in single...no boyfriend no husband...just living your life happily single. Have you heard the kind of  scoping/toasting/razzling going on now? In the good old dayz, before a man approaches you he would say a word of prayer to his God or god and ask that his mission is made successful... that she doesn't turn him down or embarrass him... he approaches her with a confident smile and says his piece but you as the girl gazing into his eyes cannot miss that hint of uncertainty that melts your heart and makes you agree or put him down gently so that he at least leaves with his pride. And if you do agree to go on a first date with him, to God be the glory that is one of his happiest days, he comes to pick you up or meet you there bearing gifts and acting all gentle manly... he walks by your side like you are the most adorable and precious thing that has happened to him since he entered puberty. 

Welcome to 2011... the jet age...now there is no respect. A man talks to you for the very first time...no, not over the phone, because he doesn't have your number yet... but on face book... you both are chatting and he says:

 'I've been noticing you on the group and I like your drive, you really are a proper Delta girl' and you both get talking... and since you cant always be on facebook chatting, you give him your BB pin when he requests so the flow can continue. Then two days into BB chatting he goes:

 'I haven't said anything yet but you seem like the kind of girl I need in my life'.... then he drops the word marriage and love and expects that you jump up and down with glee at that and automatically like him regardless of the fact that you don't know him well, then two days after that he is talking on how he will like to work on some aspect of your character and he will like you to work on him too '... thats if you are going to be my wife'  What??? Nigga what? Is that a way of telling me to sit up? Proposing marriage like you are doing me a favour? What happened to trying your damnest to make her reciprocate what you claim you 'feel' for her??? You haven't even been on a date you are already planning on how to correct some perceived character flaws... now adays when the man calls the girl he expects her to be joyful because after all they've been chatting on BB.... oh the lies of Blackberry and Facebook and the internet.

And how do Nigerian girls respond to this:

'Ah men this guy is serious'

'oh... he is talking marriage from the get go so it means he doesnt want to play with me'

'ah he is taking me serious'

So they 'sit' up and convince themselves that he is just that way... he loves you but he isn't into all these mushy mushy way of expressing it.... He tells them:

 'So if I dont call you for four days you cant check on your baby boy?' and she apologises and promises to do better. You guys go on a date and he allows you pay the bill and you convince yourself its because he likes independent women... and the day you see his hands down the front of another lady's shirt, you shrug it off and say 'its me he wants to marry..its me he comes home to'

So I've come to the conclusion that women have thrown their self worth to the bush for the dogs to eat and they are left feeling like they deserve the crumbs because in their head, no body gets the bread any more... the crumbs is all we get and deserve. So they fight for it and hustle to keep it. Rubbish!

These are things I talk about and cant help commenting on when I see or hear them and they say 'e be like say you no wan marry'

SO please... those that are in successful relationships, married or otherwise.... is this how it was when you got your good man?? Tell us let us know....make we learn

But in the meantime let me say this to the ladies reading this.... you are good the way you are... you matter... your life has value. please don't stoop to the lowest level because you are afraid that is all you deserve. You deserve much more.... don't settle for less than you are worth

Till Next Time


Nutty J.

Single In The City

There is a reason its termed Singles Awareness Day (even though I now hear that is now celebrated on the 15th). Valentines day have an uncanny ability to make singles feel depressed and lonely and sour. Today 14th of February is that day of the year were most of you single chicks will look longingly as your girlfriends rush out the door clad in red with stars in her eyes clinging to her date, and wish that were you as you echo the words ''have fun ooo''... or you sit down listening to your girlfriend moan and whine about how confused she is...she doesnt know if she should spend the day with "Man A' or 'Man B' and is wondering why 'Man C' is still calling her....and you secretly wish that you had at least one person...you are not asking for too much oooo...just one person to spend the day with.

Well my dear, leave that thing o, you can choose to be happily single or sadly single on this day. One very simple and popular thing you can do today is THROW YOURSELF A PARTY!! Better yet Host a Single's Party. I mean what exactly is the big deal? If you dont have a partner, pining and wishful thinking wont bring you a partner the next day. Yes everyone is hooked up...but so bladdy what? TODAY you have been given a good reason for a party and you wanna waste it carrying a long face around? The thing is...happiness, doesnt rest in the bossom of the opposite sex, neither does it exist only on valentines day. You can choose to be sad and lonely and listen to songs like 'everybody hates me no body likes me, i'm gonna eat cockroach' or you can show yourself some love, I mean I love myself so much that I can actually mail myself a valentine's gift and still act surprised when it arrives..lol...az in 'wow Nutty just sent Jay a gift'

I look back with fond and not-too-fond memories of my past valentines' days...

2005: I had an awesome time with 'Angel' who had come visiting from his school bearing gifts.

2006: Spent it in Abuja with same boyfriend

2007: Spent it alone bcos 'Angel' and I had broken up and the relationship between 'PB' and I was'nt strong yet. So it was me...brandy...and some weed...with other single chicks. School life was fun/terrible. No gifts except from toasters

2008: I had travelled to ABJ to spend 13th-20th with 'Honey'... and I ended up spending most of that time in the bathroom with a cigarette between my lips and tears flowing like River Benue. Twas a terrible experience. I was the only one who gave gifts on this occassion...none from him.

2009: Spent it in church...in fact it was one of the best i've had so far. I will single....by choice that period.Was taking a break.

2010: Spent it with my current ex boyfriend who showed up by 6pm after we had agreed I should make Valentine's lunch that sunday (which we didnt eat again cos he was ina rush)...who came empty handed cos he said he didnt know what to get me...and who acted like a complete jerk....

2011: hmmmm...well for the first time in a while I actually wish I could just throw a party for myself and by myself. No such luck. Had a dinner date last night at Jades Palace and got a Black Berry and Italian sandals as gifts from A friend who I still dont know if I should date...today I'm having another date after work and gym with another friendI'll talk about later....

Bottom line... having a partner for Valentine's Day isnt a guarantee for happiness. If you are not hooked up this season...then make today a day you can remember with fond memories. Make it count... you dont have to be in love before you show yourself some love.




''If you mistakenly buy into the myth that you need a partner to be happy, being single can be lonely at times. However, if you view this time as an opportunity to work on yourself, appreciate what you already have, and make a plan to be an even better you, just imagine the kind of partner you will be attracting into your life—thanks, in part, to being single on Valentine's day.'' Rhonda Rabow M.A.


Happy Vals Day y'all...be happy today.












o le ku....tell me something when I no fit do...