Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Advantages of an Okada-less Lagos

1. Car owners can now drive in peace without having two extra sets of eyes at the side if each ear watching for reckless Okada riders

2. A lot of babies will be born into Lagos State next year, as pregnant women will no longer endanger the lives of their unborn babies by bouncing up and down on Okadas

3. Everyone can now safely arrive late to work at the same time due to traffic caused by a fallen tanker blocking the road. No need to panic that that over zealous colleague has abandoned his car on the road and taken a bike (to avoid the traffic) to the office while you are still stuck in traffic

4. As for those who have been praying that their boyfriend would step up, start rejoicing... Gone are the days of: 'honey...I'm missing you o, please come quick...take a bike naw so you won't be stuck in traffic'...psft! Now before he misses you unnecessarily he will think of providing your cab fare to and from Festac.

5. Lets not forget the health benefits of walking. Walking to and from work will help prevent obesity, arthritis, stiffness of joints...helps in bowel movements and helps you expel toxic waste through sweat thus reducing the risks of cancer.

6. Your chances of making heaven increases because no more bitter words and abuses on Okada riders will proceed out of thine mouth in the mornings and evening on your way to and from work.

7. Finally gossiping and unnecessary aproko will stop... I haven't figured out yet how the non-Okada issue will stop this...but I am convinced deep within that it will

Now I don't know about you...but Fashola is Working, Lagos is working...and I will renew my resident permit every time for Lagos State under his tenure.

Nutty J

Monday, October 8, 2012

Dear God...

I'm sorry I'm writing to complain, especially since it’s been ages I wrote you a letter. Please don’t see this as me complaining, I'm just confused right now and I no not who would understand why but you.

Yesterday started all sunny and rosy and good. Our instructor in church taught us the importance of prayers stressing the fact that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. Even in the evening when I went back to church with Bobo for the praise session that marked the end of the ongoing youth program, I was still walking on sunshine...by the end of the program my joy knew no bounds...I had peace. You know this Lord. 

Then I came home...late...or rather by 9:30 pm and you saw how my uncle greeted me with 'You...this your church when you go, you sure it wasn't something else you went for?'. That almost put a damp on my joyful state, but I remembered that the devil is always around trying to steal people's joy... him and his cohorts are the principalities we wrestle against... not flesh and blood (my uncle)...so I shrugged it off and laughed, even though I wasn't sure if he meant it as a joke. I went to the sitting room..made small talk with Bobo, talked about one of his fine married friend and how I admire him...made more small talk and hugged him good bye...noticed he didn't hug back, but what the heck, we have had a long day. 

You see Lord when I texted Bobo before bed asking him why he didn't hug me back, and why he didn't call to say he got home safe, and why he didn't pick my call when I called to check on him, I didn't expect to wake up to his reply which said 'Since you were fantasizing about Gbenga, my feelings went cold'... Father this is the part I don't understand and I told him so in my response. How could he not understand that I was joking? If I had romantic feelings for his friend would I have talked to him about his friend? Why is it easy for me to completely be myself with my friends but I have to think and rethink every word of every joke before I say it to him, then pray he gets it? Was that enough for him to go to bed without even calling to say something even if it was 'I didn't appreciate that joke'? Any ways thank you for reminding me again that its the devil trying to steal my joy...and Father I'm really sorry that I talked about his friend to him...cos it means my words kinda sorta somehow robbed him of his own joy. Teach me to remember that we are from different backgrounds. Please make him call or text me...its been 6 hours since I replied his text na. (5am this morning). I have apologized, and I don't want to be the one to break the silence.  
But Lord what is this new issue with my father now? Ever since I told him I would like to come to warri and show him whom I'm dating and planning to marry...its been one thing or the other. You saw when my aunt called me now saying my dad was asking her: why does she want to marry all of a sudden, and what plans is he making to get chartered in his accounting practice, and why is she going all the way from the south to the west to get a husband, and she is supposed to travel down first and talk to me about the guy first before bringing him to the house, and just a lot of long long list of what this, and what that and is my aunt sure the boy can take care of me, is he ambitious enough bla bla bla and that he isn't comfortable with the whole idea... see God I'm just confused...YOU know I have been telling Bobo to wait concerning this his quest to meet my father, cos I know he wont be ready for these questions with good answers...you know how difficult my dad is, now what will I tell Bobo that is seriously preparing to travel with me in two weeks time to meet my dad?  I don't know what to even pray about concerning this... should I pray against principalities and powers? Or should I ask the holy spirit to witness to my dad and convince him, or should I listen and heed carefully everything that popsi mi  is saying? 

I just tire...and right now, I don't feel much joy again, along the line from 4:45am till now, I think I lost it somewhere. Thou knoweth everything Lord... talk to me. I need direction and in the meantime,  I want my joy back, while we ponder over the other issues.

Thank you Sir.


Your Daughter
Princess Jay. 

Monday, October 1, 2012

I Love my Country... I no go lie

Yeah yeah I know you might have some *thangs to say about my great nation Nigeria, some good...some not so good, but as for me oooo.... I love Naija, I no go lie... I love my country na true word be this.

A question was posed online recently, asking people to give reasons why they were proud to be Nigerians... some of the responses cracked me up:

1. Nigerians are good people: friendly, warm and helpful (the helpful part is actually not a plus because it encourages laziness)
2. Nigeria is dynamic
3. Nigeria is rich in lovely culture and traditions
4. Nigeria will always give you a reason to laugh even if it gives you 10 reasons to cry
5. Its only in Nigeria people are suffering and smiling
6. In Nigeria anything can happen, you can be a Millionaire overnite without any trace of pre-success.
7. The people are patient
8. We are intelligent, sharp, and smart.
9. Nigerians like to *get sense instead of Wisdom. We like make our eye open than civilisation (bruhahahaha)
10. Its a place where I can walk around without fearing that one gun-slinging retard might come out from nowhere and start spraying bullets. (That's true)
11. Culture and priceless values.

Mennnnh... I had a swell time today celebrating the Independence day at the Eleko beach. I had fun o jare... Nigeria good or e no good, one thing is certain, her citizens are Independent people...we practically do everything for ourselves, supply our own light, water, we survive without good roads, without proper health care, without good jobs etc...so yes, I love my country ooo, cos I am one of those hard-working citizens. So Happy Independence Day to me and all the hard working citizens of this great country.... one day one day Nigeria as a country will be truly Independent... In Jesus Name!!!

So tell me three (3) things you love about being Nigerian.

Nutty Jay