Monday, March 29, 2010

Feel free to title this one for me

Hiya...Happy Monday to you all. In fact the best way to start a monday especially for those who over played during the weekend is coffee...not decaf, plain old coffee. dont worry what the doctors said, they cant know everything.

Talking about weekends, mine was awesome. I had made up my mind to re-connect with my friends, and accept all the invitations to this party and that movie and the beach etc etc. In between all that I got a call from my boyfriend

'' Hey babes whats up...that place is noisy where u at?'' he asked
'' Hello sweets...I'm at the cinema''
'' J...its 9.45pm..when re you going home?'
'' Donno...the movie wud end in like 40mins''
'' Can we talk about this later? cos I dont understand you again ooo''

That was friday...Sunday we were chattting again, and he asked me a question that got me thinking, he was like ''Are you trying to fill ur days with alot of activity so u can get ur mind off me?...cos we hardly connect anymore and I'm a bit uncertain as to why''

Okay that question gave me food for thought. Was that what I was doing? You remember the time I blogged about me not knowing what I got myself into in the rship i entered? well...after that blog I made a subconscious decision to relax in the rship and stop carrying it on my head...prior to that time, bcos the love really bit me hard, I'd decided to reduce my outtings and cut back on the amount of Invitations I receive and honour during weekends...and just try and focus on my give my all to it, be a good girlfriend, so that one thing or the other will not spoil the good thing I was entering (long thing). In so doing I began to unconsciously depend on Mr. Man for not only love but for the social life I had cut back on,at least a bit of that isn't too much to ask na, and when I didnt get it, I get upset,meanwhile his bahaviour ni, doesnt encourage me at all in the relationship... Now I find myself easing up on the relationship,stopped asking for much and just having fun with my friends once again. But the question is I'm I doing that in an attempt to get this guy semi-out of my heart so I can stop feeling dissappointed when he falls short of the things he's supposed to be doing, or I'm I just getting my groove on cos that is how I used to be before the relationship..(I sha realised how much I've missed that)

I just tire for the matter...I love this guy solidly, in fact i can safely call him the love of my least for this time(lol). But just becos he is the love of my life, does it mean he will be my love for life? This whole relationship thing is confusing ooo, or maybe its just becos I had been out of the whole datin thing for almost two years prior to this one, that is why I am finding it so difficult to adjust. What I know is that i'm finding it hard to just love without expecting the same measure in return or even more sef...Is that so wrong? I saw Sting's blog on relationship games and I cant still help laughing at some of the rules there. na wa...pesin no go craze for this thing. or maybe we should just leave relationships for the adults, becos I swear I never reach the age for all these the Irony of the whole thing sef is that the men that love you completly 101%, you just dont have feelings for them. Na wa for the life sha

Anyways these are all the things going through my head right now as I drink coffee and try to do the days job. meanwhile I presume we are safe now from the acid rain thing? Becos I miss walking under slight showers of rain. Lemme get back to work. Y'all have a splendid week...thank God there is the easter break coming up.

Catch ya


Friday, March 26, 2010

Nice Girl....Good Girl

The other day on my way home from work,with a friend who so far does not want to take 'no' for an answer. We were in between topics when he turned to me and said:

'Nutty J, you are a very beautiful girl..very beeyoootiful, why are you not nice'' he said abi it was a question sef, I dont know

'Please face the road abeg, I want to see next christmas biko' I replied jokingly but I was serious oh...see this man wan kill me troway for lagos road all in the name of 'be nice'

According to him...all I needed was a touch of niceness to complete my beauty, that he was gonna teach me how to be nice and when I'm nice i'll see the difference (difference in what abeg tell me)...from what he said, if I could go out of my way to say the right things in certain gathering and maybe later if I'm with my 'clique' i can speak my church mind, and be a tiny bit not too blunt (I dont know a better way to put it), and If I can be a bit patient with people since we all know people are bound to mess up, and more tolerant ( I dont know how he meant) and one or two things too then I'll be a sweet girl.

Truth be told LWKM that day...sweet ke? shebi I don turn chocolate...later on I pondered over what he said I couldnt help wondering where the line between being 'Good' and 'Nice' is drawn. If being nice, is lowering my standards on the things I believe and stand for just so that I can 'seem' more accomodating then No, thank you...I dont need your approval on if I'm accommodating or not,If being Nice means when I see you as a friend messing up, I hold back on telling you becos I dont want to hurt your feelings...then eh...No thanks I dont want to be nice, I want to be your FRIEND and friendship means no BULLSHITTING. If being nice means saying 'Yes', when I mean 'No' just becos I want you to feel at home in whatever new foolishness you've come up with...then No, thank you I dont want to be nice.

In my opinion people should be good. Do the right things at the right time the right way. Say what you mean at all times...saying or doing things differently from what you believe it is or should be just to please your environment, or so you will be accepted...makes you continue on that road (that u actually dont believe in) and before you know it you will end up with a wrong life. Now i'm not saying you need to give an opinion on every issue or talk in a crude way that not only speaks the truth but ends up embarrassing and hurting the feelings of the next, that is not what i'm saying,there is a difference between being truthfully blunt and being mean.If you are good you should be good all the way and learn how to deliver your 'church mind' skillfully. But in the process please dont lose yourself in all that cuddly,warm and soft cushion termed 'nice'. Be yourself and stop faking. The truth is those that mind, dont matter and those that matter wont mind.

But that is just me and my definition of 'good' and 'nice'...It may not be correct, but na so e de for my do you see this...what do you think?

PS: The 'Nice' being refered to here is not the literary/dictionary meaning of the word "Nice'...I'm talking about the figurative meaning...the one society has in its head.

PPS: Have a good week people...have fun, break some rules and keep stepping. xoxo


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Unnecessary Worry

I was chatting online with a friend today and I told him I was worried….

‘worried about what?’ he said
‘this and that’ I replied
‘ah ahn..Jennifer are you broke? You tired of your job? Is it time to take ‘Mr. right' home?

I was taken aback…but my surprise didn’t last more than a minute, because for real, when u get to certain stages In life, leave it for friends and well wishers to help u define what it is one could and should be worried about(*hiss*)

But really does it all matter? The things we worry about do they really matter at the end of the day? Life has taught me that the things we worry about, we either get them or don’t get them…if we know this then why bother with the worries? Isn’t it enough that we wake up every morning? That we have life, that we are sane and not mad in the markets…isn’t it enough that at the end of the day we can sit down and count our blessings….?

I was speaking to a friend last night and she got talking of how she and her husband were having a tough time and that he is getting upset at her failure to conceive and has started talking about marrying a second wife, and she wants to pack out etc. I calmed her down as best as I could and later that night I reflected back to when they got married. I was in my office that day when my phone rang with ‘Private Number’ for caller ID…

“Hello?’’ I said Impatiently
‘’Hey girly wats up’’ the person said…the voice was a bit familiar
‘’who’s this please’’ I asked
‘’Ah han…you too de harsh for phone…u never still stop?’’
‘’OMG….Lily* is that you?’ I finally recognized the voice ‘My girl u no de try, so u no fit call person since all this time?’’
‘’I’ve been busy…besides I didn’t get a call from you too….’’

We swapped gossip and then she gave me her news

‘’I’m getting married oh…in two months and you know how we do na…I want you and the others there we must jollificate’’

I was happy for her…but stunned at the news…and a bit envious too. In school Lily and I were the two girls amongst our friends who vowed not to rush into marriage, and that we will look well well before marriage and we must groove finish first..and her own groove sef was like x2 of my own…now at 23 (she was to be 24 much later that yr) she was getting married. How? Where dem meet?…since when did she learn how to be wife material,(or wifey) these were the thoughts going thru my head. Anyways wedding came and went, big affair etc.

Now…one year and one month later or should I say one yr and one month only, she has four new worries:

1. A child
2. Her husband’s suspected unfaithfulness
3. If really its she that has fertility issue
4. What people wud think if she packs out

And really I can imagine her fears and pain…it got me thinking that the things we worry for sometimes, the things we break our head for sometimes are actually not worth the worry and if we do get them, just might leads to other worries. So in the process why worry?

Before you worry about when your womb will carry a child…worry about the child in the orphanage who has not got any parent to love him, who goes from one foster home to the other all in the struggle to get an education. Before you worry about where Mr. right is, worry about the girl who is 15 dying of AIDS because she was introduced into prostitution at a tender age of 12 by the mother who was supposed to be her protector but who equally knew no better… Before you worry about when you will get a better job, worry about the thousand faceless people out there who are hungry and don’t have a place to sleep when night approaches, because they can’t get a job in Nigeria. Before you worry about what and what food to eat to reduce or add extra weight, think about that child who would not eat until he has sold all the ‘pure water’ or ‘gala’ or ‘yam’ he was given to hawk before getting home that evening. Worry about those that might die because they have no medical insurance. Worry about these people, extend a helping hand, show them love if not by anything, then by a smile, a word of encouragement, a word of advice, monetary gifts…these people are worth worrying over.Worry about these people and someone may just worry about you and extend a helping hand to you too….We get what we give.

Before you worry…think about the loved ones who you make worry because of your worry.



Friday, March 19, 2010

This and That


Is how I feel right now…aka sluggish, tired weary, lackluster etc etc o jare, I can’t find the other synonyms to use off hat.I need bad azz sugar high right now but can’t find chocolates anywhere(very unlike me) and who told me now to stop drinking or rather promise myself to try and avoid alcohol? Typical case of shooting one’s self in the foot, because really alcohol after 5pm really used to work in my interest…at least to ease up after all the days activity (*sighs*).Right now I’m in the office just feeling blank…imma need love urgently but that’s another risk on its own because the love that follows us sometimes sha…de pain belle.

But see me oh, I actually wanted to just holla at Lovepaprika, Kay9, 2cute4u, neefemi and the silent readers because you all been making me feel welcome up in here and I appreciate…but now it’s beginning to sound like a post I can complete and say ‘yeah I actually posted something worthwhile today’ (Yippe!! )…see why I love you? You guys inspire me for ehm..good things.

Meanwhile I can no longer understand what is going on in the streets of Lagos..commuting nowadays is becoming another painful thing to face or is it just me? I don’t own a car yet, but getting to and fro work has never been an issue because I have peeps willing to give me a ride here and there (*bats eyes*)…yes na, I’m good company or haven’t you noticed. Anyways sometimes that small imp in me sometimes misses my own company and would rather use the public transport in an attempt to be alone (yes oh..alone with strangers around u is still being alone) than ride with a friend….well nowadays it no longer seems wise sha…because of traffic, the bus drivers have now decided to leave their normal lane and drive off lane, at the corner…making the normal two lanes into three…now the thing with this ‘illegal’ lane is that it is bumpy as hell..yes na its not a ‘road’ so it isn’t tarred…now see how the driver would be speeding like mad enjoying the ride with the bus practically leaving the ground, just like in the movies… everyone would be shouting

‘’ye!! Slow down ooo’…

’’oga take am easy’’

‘’you are mad!! Are you high or something? Stop this car, you done lost the mind Gawd gave you!!’’ (see English speaking)

the bus driver would usually laugh it off and keep going saying some nonsense like ‘’Abegi una too de fear’’… at those times I’ll just be singing ‘’Jesus take the wheel’’ I cannot understand the madness anymore….how I miss my aje butter life…where dad would call and be like ‘’…where are you so I can send the driver to come pick u’’ or ‘’whenever u know you are leaving school for home, make sure you tell us so we can come get you’’ as in soft life…no stress…I was made for the easy life o jare, as in for real…all this adulthood+go find out how life is+go make your own way in life+you are independent now etc is not what I bargained for oh, it would be crazy to expect my parents to still be doing that all the way from warri for me in Lagos but eh…nothing wrong in wishing one rich man would come and take over from where they stopped na…I’m just saying in case there is one rich dude there reading…lol. Besides Neyo if you are out there please note how Independent I am enough to acknowledge that I’m made for easy life, which entails being spent on by a man…after all Adam was made to take care of Eve as Eve helps him out with his never ending daily issues (read your bible) In fact it was the day she decided to go to the farm so she can have her own (independent woman)dat wahala started...(you really must read that bible)

Anyways its Friday and imma going out there to have a good time this weekend…have a good weekend ahead. Do your thing...


PS: 3 post in one week? Ha...there really must be magic in blogsville


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Be Still

Today's post is gonna be a bit different from my usual posts…but work with me and you’ll see what it is I’m trying to get at.

I was at home last Saturday night, just got home after a long day of playing hard, since I'd promised myself to have fun all weekend starting Friday. So I was chilling at home that night and it wasn’t long before my mind wandered as it usually does to some stuffs I'd done, accomplished, some I was working on and bla bla bla…and for a brief moment I felt depressed…and almost by reflex I thought ‘’…oh God!! What is happening? You said this…you promised that…didn’t your word say…etc’’

Well this is what I’m gonna talk about. There are times we get like this and feel all frustrated about the things that are happening or not happening around us and we feel like just shaking God and say ‘why! Why!! Why oooooo’ it is at this time we should pause and remember that God is still God. Do you remember the prayer you prayed that day saying ‘’…Lord if it’s your will, then do this and that or make this and that work, but if it’s not your will then I don’t want it.’’ I believe we can all remember a time we prayed that prayer…and please don’t tell me you have never said this prayer in your adult life. Well God heard your prayer that day and has proceeded to answer it…shey you said ‘If it is your will?’ it is now left for you to be still and know that God is still God.

The problem occurs when we have an expectation of how we hope this prayer should be answered. We get worked up and bewildered when things start going ‘wrong’. This is because prior to that time we have probably been having it good and soft in that Job…in that relationship…in that business. We rationalize i.e. tell ourselves rational-lies and be like ‘…yeah okay, so he misbehaves and hurts my feelings sometimes and leaves me emotionally drained most times but isn’t that how men are? At least he comes home to me’’ or you tell yourself ‘’yeah I know I should be doing something more fulfilling than this job I’m currently on, but the pay is good and it doesn’t matter that my boss makes me do things that are against my moral standing….’’ All this was good enough until you prayed that all of a sudden you can’t understand why that ‘good’ man is getting restless, why he seems uncomfortable with you, why he is becoming more abusive emotionally, why he is now distant….or maybe it’s your job, you can’t understand why your colleagues in the office are now picking on you and why your boss now seem to have a short fuse when it comes to you…etc. This is the point where you need to remember your prayer that day and be still. Truth of the matter is for there to be a replacement or for a better thing to come in, there has to be a shaking…those trying times you sometimes don’t understand is the ‘shaking’ that has to occur in order to remove all these ‘good’ things from your life…in the process you are going to feel uncertainty, fear, pain, anger, confusion (did I miss anyone out?) and most times God allows it so you can mature in the process so as to be ready to handle the replacement(s)…so you can appreciate it when he replaces this ‘good’ man or job with the best Man or Job for you. Don’t fight it…feel free to question it, but don’t fight it, allow God do what he does best. Yes the man makes you happy, but God wants to give you something better…something that puts ‘happy’(good) to shame, that thing is called ‘JOY”(best)

When you have Joy, then you know that Joy comes with peace, the kinda peace that passeth even your understanding. So for a while your happiness may be taken away…but only for a while because there need to be room for joy to come in.

But it is your choice, if you can’t bear to let go of that ‘good’ because you think your heart can’t take it, no wahala, ask God again not to take your ‘good’ away…that you like it like that…fast about it sef, after all the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much..He will permit you to go ahead because he also has a ‘PERMISSIVE WILL”
But if you fall under the category of those who cannot let ‘good enough’ be good enough thus are willing to go through the period of ‘shaking’ while keeping a good attitude about it…then hold on my people, for soon that your ‘good’ will be replaced with the best. This is the “PERFECT WILL’ of God.

Just be still and know that God is still God.

Till next time.


Monday, March 15, 2010

Introducing Myself

…okay, so I’ve been here for a while talking about some stuff and reading plenty stuffs and I really didn’t do any proper introduction. Actually I was kind of avoiding that part, trying to dodge it…but someone called my attention to it and was like ‘’…you just dey talk long thing, don’t u know you have to introduce yourself?’ And I was like ‘’…oh oooo…witch how did you even know I was the one, and Introduce myself as how now?’ anyways long story short…lemme do that now real quick. Here we go:

1. My name is Jennifer…some friends call me Jay…others call me Naughty Jennifer…which later changed to Nutty Jennifer cos they can’t figure out if some nuts actually are loose in my head. I’m a correct Delta chick…Uhrobo babe from Warri, as in nothing do us. We don’t need black belts like some of them karate kids…all we need is a black bottle. Be warned…lol

2. I can talk about my age now ya? After all its blogsville and here we say as we like, no be so? I was born June 4th 1985…ish babe don de old oooo

3. I can’t really say much about myself because I came here at a time where I no longer know myself…if it were some months back I'd have said I’m a good person, strong willed, no-nonsense etc, but my dears If u know the amount of nonsense I’m eating nowadays eh…u will shake your head, so I guess I’m going thru a phase, and when I’m done, I’ll be able to say I’m still this girl I used to know…or not

4. I’m the only girl in between two I can conveniently say I like attention

5. I like chocolates, I like cake, I’m not a fan of all that 8 glasses of water a day, but now momzilla and dokitor are on my case to drink drink drink…I don tire. Favorite food is Rice…

6. I can conveniently call myself a working class girl…I have been working since 2008, which was my service yr. And now the pay is paying all my payables and leaving me with enuff to throw here and there

7. I like being alone..I don’t know it’s kinda weird, almost demonic…but I like myself, I sometimes go out there and buy myself presents to make myself know I love myself…I stand in front of the mirror sometimes looking at myself and re-affirming my love for myself and call myself from work sometimes to just check up on myself to see how myself is doing….LMAO…don’t mind me, I’m no sicko, just tryna say I love myself and believe in flying alone…solo…I think better that way.

8. I like guys…I grew up being a guy’s girl…so I’m not very used to girls, I’m learning how to go out of my way to make girl friends, but how do u teach an old dog new tricks…so the few I have who love me with all my wackiness, I tend to hold the friendship dearly. But my friends are mostly made up of guys

9. *clears throat* I’ve done some crazy things in the past…(some things that I’m sure as time goes on, I’ll talk about cos this place has that effect on me)… that I’m not very proud of, but if asked to change them, I wont because those things/experiences have made me the lady I love today….wouldnt change it for anything.

10. I am a freak about honesty…its almost a curse. I'd rather have honesty, truthfulness, trustworthiness and everything that is not a lie in my life…I speak the truth and I appreciate it when people do so in return….guess that is why I have few friends.

11. I Like Money and Power.

12. Why I joined blogsville? Huh lemme see…facebook became too crowded….I write a ‘note’ and next thing I’m being inboxed on how respectable ladies don’t talk like that…how I’m ‘showing’ myself…I then get calls sometimes saying ‘That is too much info, you don’t know if your future husband is there’…or ‘’stop all tis your *I don’t send attitude* it doesn’t pay’…so I chanced upon bloggsville and I saw how babes were open about their thoughts and feelings…and everyone was a stranger to everyone until u decide to open up…and I was like ‘Halle-lu-ya….ha-lle-lu-ya’…. And I joined, foolishy I used some of my fb write-ups here but later deleted it, and I hope..oh I pray no one from FB, xcept that witch noticed.

I love it here, and I’m hoping I get to re-discover myself all over again…my journals at home must hate me now, thinking I have abandoned them, cos this place is just so addictive. Okay that is the basic on me…

So please forgive me for just doing this now...and I hope you all can help me in the whole 're-discovery of self' journey that I have embarked on


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Another Woman's Man

So I got this call last night from a friend, but before I continue, I hope I've said here before that my male friends are like 80% and female friends like okay I'm saying it now. It has always been like that....okay so one of my girlfriends called me up to say:

*skip skip to interesting part*

Me: what is new girly

Girly: 'oh girl i'm in love oh...this guy is damn fine, he is from so so and so family and he's well paid in his job and has this and that business and loves me to pieces

Me: ' hmmm...this one u are giggling up and down, u sound like u finally met the man of your dreams

Girly: 'Yes oooo...(*pause*) but i'm just praying for divine displacement, see he has this chick, they been dating for like 3yrs now and he says he's tired but she wont let go...etc etc etc

I started laughing...and I was like na wa sha, when will these whole thing stop, when women go wise? My girl had fallen in love with another woman's man and I was sad for her...I know how it feels to be in love, but is it worth it to be at the top of a ladder that is leaning against the wrong wall? 3yrs Old relationship!!! In my opinion if the guy wants you, why is he still there...all those talk of ''...she doesn't get me like you do'' are all L-I-E-S....I bet that was what Bill Clinton told Monica when he was going thru that his phase...I gues that was what Tiger in the Woods told his numerous people.

Okay lets agree that he is really into you...and dumps his girl (who has done nothing to deserve it by the way) and now starts dating you...what guaranty do you have that this same Nigger aint gonna do to you what he did to her....yes na, after a year or two, he cud get chick out there would be there busy understanding him the way you dont and next thing you are like girl no. 1...popular sayin in warri 'dem no de throway broom when dem take sweep first wife comot from house, becos na that same broom dem go take sweep second wife out'... It reminds me of this guy I dated once, who had a girlfriend by the way (hey..I've repented now na...for real)

I was in my final year and had gone to visit my girlfriend in her hostel since she recently moved from the compound were I was staying, so we got talking and I was telling her of how my love had broken my heart and gone with another chick and as I narrated, her neigbour who happened to be there, who I had never seen in all my life started saying stuff like:

''eh used ur hand to drive ur boyfriend na, you let your man can a girl be calling him often and u just believe when he says they are just friends...u no wise, na u let am go na'

'We had that kind of relationship, its called trust' I said calmly

'Na u sabi...chop trust na, see my HONEY, no woman on earth, when dem born can take him from me, there is nothing they can give him, dat I cant give him double...make una sit down there'

...there and then I decided to find this HONEY and date him, get his mind off her, then dump him and show her 'certificate of proof of dating ur bf'. All that I decided in that moment. crazy abi...but that was how crazy I was in the university. So I discovered HONEY...and as devil would have it, the moment the guy saw me...he begin gree my own, he had sex on his mind...but i was a lady on a mission. sex is cheap and can be gotten anywhere, but a lady who can do simple 2+2 is hard to I decided to engage with him mentally. I got him loving the fact that he can have good intelligent conversations with me, whenever he needed it,taught him some one or two things about life, encouraged him in his rship...showed him how to make his girl secure in his love etc etc etc such that whenever he needed a good head to talk to, guess who is was calling....ME!! when he had probs in his rship and needed solutions, instead of working it out with his babe, he was calling ME!! for advise...he had family issues and he needed a friend to talk to...he was calling ME!! for advise.

Soon enough, his girl starts nagging, cant understand why they dont talk bout stuff no more etc and I knew the amount of pain he was causing her because of me...HONEY started pressuring me to love him in return etc etc...then I decided it was time enough to have sex with him and my oh my...did I forget to mention that the dude was Uhrobo...u know how they be in bed. I knew I had him and the last thing to do was make her dump him...i asked nicely, he gave me stories '...I have to do it gently, we have been dating for 3yrs'...I withdrew a bit from him and did all them manipulative things, and then finally he & her broke up. I don win! I don win!!...surprisingly victory tasted sour...I liked this dude, along the line sef I had fallen for him, but I knew that she was one girl he genuinely loved and my evil manipulations had driven two people apart. Deep down I knew he wud always love her, and as carefree as I was, I had never been able to share anything with anyone, especially not love. Besides I no trust am, if he could allow a chick break up his rship then what kinda man does that make him...apart from that I come de see some kin character when I no de see before when I was the other I did the next best thing...found a good excuse and broke it off. He couldnt go back to his ex, cos she had moved on to another man and that one was serious with her...but the bottomline is that, that was one game I regretted playing, becos I knew how much love she had for him, what right did I have to have spoilt what they had? Becos I was vexed by a comment she made? At the end of the day what did I achieve? Nothing. I couldnt even go and gloat like I intended cos she is three times my size oh...and by that time, the reason for the game no longer seemed important.

Anyways I had since repented, the law of karma caught up with me and I paid all the price and penance and everything that was came because of that episode and I took it all in stride and kept saying 'i know I'm going thru this cos of that'...I've paid it all and my slate is clean again.

Ladies please...leave another woman's man alone.Thou shall not covet thine neighbours At the end of the day it isnt worth it. Its only sweet when you are the other woman...just the way forbidden fruit is sweet. But by the time, its no longer forbidden, chances are...the thrill u felt before would no longer be there.

How did this post get this long? I forget myself sometimes

Nutty J.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Office Haters

I just dont understand...I am so angry that I could actually break a bottle on someone, anyone's head....okay let me explain

My boss just called me to say that some one in the office told her yesterday that I'm online 24/7 doing un-official work like facebooking, chatting etc...and that I'm lounging on the job. See me see wahala, me I dont know when all this hating will stop. How do people just forget about their own lifes and make conscious dedicated effort to bad mouth and try to ruin others. First last year it was agreed amongst the staff that I was rude...I dont have regards for senior members of staff bla bla bla. And I was like, 'excuse me ma'am, officially rude or un-officially rude?' she just gave me one bad eye like that and I decided to shut up...but for real I'm officially not rude...I do my job, but un-officially i can understand that my not wanting to join in the cliques or make small talk and not reply to small talks could come across as being rude.

Lemme mind has a mind of its own I swear....I cant control it. So if i'm not working, it takes out time to ehmm...roam. Its either busy thinking about life issues and trying to solve them, or thinking of what next to read or write most time my mind is occupied, and when people at those times, try talking to me, especially matter when no concern me my mind would shut out the drone of their voices and continue with its own roaming.


Collegue: So what was she doing signing off those cheques, she doesnt think again or she has forgotten she needs approval?

(the only part i heard was 'so she doesnt think? approval, cheque')

Me: I didnt know you would ask me this....I would have asked her about her thinking faculties


Collegue: who's that guy? what company does he represent...I havent seen him here before...hey answer me na

Me: I'm sorry what did u say? (honestly i didnt hear)

Collegue: I said who's that guy? what company does he represent

Me: Was that what u asked?

Collegue: Yes

Me: Sorry...what was the question again?

....enh eh, what kinda question is that? she just interupted my flow of thought and now wants me to check out somborri....the major question sef, is how would I know? I was put here to know strange people abi? Or they pay me now to answer question when no concern my work abi?

Anyway that was last year's complaint..She's rude. Now its that i'm always on FaceBook. Like what will I do to stop em hating on me...honestly I dont care what they say but I cant continue to let them say all these stuff, it could get to the wrong ears and trouble may start. And its a lie, for real...I'm only on FB before work starts...I get to my office like 6am sometimes, what will I be doing till and I blog sometimes when I know I should be on my 1 hour now that I need to vent.

Anyways life has taught me that people would talk, whether you do good or bad, people would always have something negative to to hell with them.

Lemme log off...for now. Before bad people would talk again.