Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Last Night....

....I couldn't sleep. Why? I was pondering over what Taynement said somedays ago: We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us"

Now there is this guy who has loved me for a year plus...accepts me the way I am and is doing all the right things....all the things I wanted my ex to do. He talks to me all the time, he wants to know what is going thru my mind, he wants to be friends with my family, he wants to send  me lunch if he cant leave his office to meet me for lunch. he wants to be there for my low points and high points. He is kind, gentle and caring and I know he loves me...you can always tell when a man loves you, he doesnt need to talk....it shows

I like him...I respect him...I love him, yes I do... I love him like I love a friend that is just a friend. ( I have a lot of those) I don't bother if he hasn't called a whole day. I wont bother if my sms don't get replied...I wont bother if he switches off his phone. He doesn't give me butterflies...he doesn't make my heart stop...he doesn't even make it beat fast... at least not yet. I give excuses:

- He doesnt have the drive I need to match mine
- He isnt overly ambitious but is lucky he is doing well
- He is too passive...
- etc

But he loves me...and he loves me the right way. Isnt this what I've been praying for? What do I do? Should I wait a while and see if I can love him back...or should I just turn my back now. What should it be...which is better: The love that loves us....or the love that we love?

I want a McDreamy (Grey's Anatomy) or at least a McSteamy.....someone that makes me tingle at the sound of his voice, someone who I can rely on his strength...someone who can win an argument with me, some one who can call me to order.....someone who can tame me lovingly not because he is trying to prove that he is a man, someone who can arouse my sexual goddess. Someone who I can sincerly enjoy a joke with without wondering if he gets the joke or not.

McVet just doesnt click somehow....or maybe its me just wanting the wrong things.

Besides I'm not ready to date again...not to talk about such a serious kind of dating.

I know I'm rambling....but this is just what is in my head right now. Drama...relationship+to+be+or+not+to+be drama



  1. I prefer the love that we love.

    The love that loves us is cool; you can try ur hardest, but you cannot reciprocate that love if you don't feel it naturally. And seeing as your heart isn't into it, he's only going to get his hopes high and crushed.

    If you get with him, trust nature,then you'll now find the love that you love. Then things get messy.

  2. I dont know why this made me laugh : He isnt overly ambitious but is lucky he is doing well.

    But my dear, na so the gods dey use us play chess oh. Its amazing how we long for the goats that choose to ignore us. No matter how "good" this guy is, if you don't feel it, you don't. Don't settle. In some cases the feeling comes later and for most it's just not there. Your McNutty is somewhere and you will meet him one day!!

  3. lol ok babe this is so true. And the mcvet/mcdreamy example is true. You'll be good babe.


  4. There has to be that something there.. what ever that is and if it is lacking then....

  5. I know what you mean cos I'm at that point. My advice is the same, don't settle.

  6. Go for him! Or at least give him subtle green lights...so he doesnt go for the next girl so easily.lol!

    Why? You said he loved you as you are!!! What are the chances we have in life for people to love us as we are? Not try to mould and shape us into their fanntasy?

    I cant speak for you but the people I have loved crazily did not love me as I was, Yes the chemistry fantastic, steamy, I knew the effect I had on them and took full advantage of that..
    But what about reality? when i lost my grandma, he didnt get my depression

    when I had my usual devilish period pain, he still wanted to smooch and was upset I pushed him away. (He pretended to 'understand' but women can tell)

    when I had malaria (my malaria makes me hallucinate, I hardly have it but when I do, as an AS carrier, its very bad) he only came once.

    Meanwhile some platonic friend was there in the background, supporting me, holding my hand, listening whhile cried. Platonic friend is married and I know the wife is the luckiest woman in the world cus such sensitive men is rare in a paternal society as Nigeria

    You may brush it aside as my experience but what about wisdom from our parents. Every matured woman I know have said it is more important for the man to love the woman more than she loves him or for equal love.

    These are women of experinece that has faced reality of living when the beauty, youth, curves and clear skin have all gone o.

    If you say he is responsible, patient, caring, have seen you at your worst and best andstill keeps coming..one who 'LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE' then Mena says 'do not let him go'


  7. @ all; Thank you for the feedback, i really appreciate it...will give you updates on this as it unfolds.

  8. Hey!
    I'm going through the EXACT same thing. I would say don't settle, you will get someone who loves you the way you love him, this person does exist.
    If you settle, you will just be there to make the person happy and not to hurt their feelings but you will never be truly happy.

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  10. "...and is doing all the right things...." and with this phrase alone, all your doubts are simply expressed.

    *thinking* there is just something about putting too much (conscious) effort in doing these things. Instinct.

  11. i like rethots thoughts....seems like he is trying hard...

    But then i am really skeptical of any perfect situation


Say it as you mean it... I can take it