Thursday, January 31, 2013

Dealing With Difficult Relationships.

  1. Think about it carefully: This does not mean sitting down and weighing the pros and cons of the relationship, it doesn't matter if its been more than a year, or two or three... what matters is that you think carefully about this I mean, think out loud. Irrespective of who is there. In your office, in church, in family meetings say things like '...but watin I talk bad? if I tell Nutty not to go out does she have the right to say no?' This technique is adopted to make sure your circle of influence, friends and family feel your pain and give you advise. Worry not about if their own relationship is good or not, do not worry if most of them are separated as well. For the fact that they are friends, family or colleagues, what ever they say is important and 90% of the time, correct.
  2. Apply these advice: So you have been told that this and that are not allowed in a relationship, especially one that you want to lead into marriage. Now is the time for you to begin enforcing these things. rule a line...make a list of dos and donts and make sure you make him/her save it mentally, at every turn where he/she deviates from your laid down rules and regulations, be sure to point it out and let them know that they have messed up and remind them that such behavior would ruin your plans of taking this relationship a step further...remember a stitch in time saves nine. 
  3. Become a Monitor: Don't ever underestimate the effectiveness of monitoring your spouse. You love him/her and they love you in return and that is enough. Now you don't want another person laying eyes on your partner, not to talk about going a step further to say 'hi'. Those people are out for nothing but to defile your partner. Now what do you do? This is a bit tricky and you have to be you have been. Don't say anything directly about this, but try as much as possible not to be anywhere he/she isn't, especially on the weekends and on public holidays. if you can't accomplish this because of ill health or hustle or unexpected him/her as often as you can and never forget to ask 'where are you'... There is a reason why there are somethings called 'monitoring spirits'. If he/she gives you an unsatisfactory answer or they happen to be somewhere unusual, then make up your mind that they are cheating or about to cheat. Full Stop. Such behavior must be addressed promptly and in clear terms and the more disgust you have in your voice when addressing this nonsense the quicker he/she understands why its wrong to be anywhere out of the norm without you. In fact you are right, he/she is wrong. 
  4. Emotional Blackmail: according to wikipedia, is a form of psychological manipulation - it is "the use of a system of threats and punishment on a person by someone close to them in an attempt to control their behavior".[1] "Emotional blackmail... typically involves two people who have established a close personal or intimate relationship (mother and daughter, husband and wife, sister and sister, two close friends)."[2] When subjected to emotional blackmail, "we become the other's emotional hostage". As Jean Baudrillard puts it: "If you don't give me that, you will be responsible for my breakdown"
  5. Feedback: For every organization to be successful, feedback is needed...from top to bottom and bottom to top. Internal feedback and external feedback. Adopt this in your relationship. Calling home is a key factor in making your relationship work. This must be done when you need your partner to sit up... are they out of line, call his/her parents. Have they suddenly become defiant? call home. Feedback is key.
Now there are many more key points I would like to drop here, but I'm a bit distracted right now with work, annoyance and some stuffs... but theses are the five basic steps you need in having a wonderful relationship. Take my advise... I am good at these things. 

Happy End of Month.

Nutty Jay

Monday, January 28, 2013

Do you know why...

...the younger generation don't seem in any great rush to marry?

I believe it's because most of the older generation didn't set any enviable example for marriage!! And these days everyone is afraid to make a mistake that would last a life time.

If you are single...pray this: 'father in heaven, do not let me enter into the wrong home'

Happy New week

Nutty J

Ps: ...or what other reason could there be??

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Special Announcement

I'm back on Blackberry. This week to be precise... Some of you might be wondering what's so special about that. Some of you even know why, but cannot remember...but those who read this blog and love me, like aunty Joxy and few others, they will remember why it's a special announcement.

Anyways for the new comers here that are curious to know... It's here.  For those that cannot remember, #godiswatchingyou

In another news... We need to pray. In everything we do, lets fear God and ask for direction. In your decision making, in your going out and coming the paths you choose to thread, acknowledge God and ask for direction. And pray that he gives you a listening hear. So that when the direction comes, you don't wave it off nonchalantly.

One special prayer I want you to pray...which I am praying is:

'Father in heaven,  do not make me make the mistake that will truncate/ruin my Destiny'

Pray it was laid in my heart tonight. Pray it

I love you

Nutty J.

Monday, January 7, 2013


Passion (from the Ancient Greek verb πάσχω (paskho) meaning to suffer) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something. (Wikipedia)

What are you passionate about? It’s the saddest thing to go through life not having a passion for anything. Having a passion for people is common these days…we are in an era were people fall in love, or get obsessed or infatuated with each other per second per second on the go, but you will be amazed to know that most people do not have a passion for anything. No passion for the course they study, no passion for the job they do, no passion for  God or Devil, no passion for their goals, no passion for anything.

Some people waltz through life living it as it comes. Not making an impact anywhere or in any area, just going with the flow. Sitting on the fence, never going a hundred percent in any direction…nor going zero percent in any direction either, not being outstanding in any one thing. They play it safe. Not too small, not too much…just okay. 'Just okay' people are the saddest people on earth. These are the people who won’t be  missed when they die… they are not known for anything, they will be forgotten in a hurry. They are not known to be good they are not known to be bad, they are not hot they are not cold, not high or low, not independent or dependent, not decisive, not a party starter or party pooper, they are just there.

'I know thy works, that thou art neither hot nor cold, I wish thou were cold or hot' (Bible: Rev 3: 15)… I always overlooked this passage, never really understanding what God was talking about. But these days when I read this text, I can almost feel His pain here. The truth of the matter is that those who are ‘just there’…those without passion for anything, are a complete waste of space in the universe. You can’t rely on them because they are neither here nor there; you can’t pray for them, because they are sitting on the fence thus you don’t know where they want to be; they can’t influence others because they don’t completely believe in anything enough to stand for it and convince others about it. They are a complete waste of space a bore and a nuisance to their circle of influence.

What are you passionate about? If you are above 20 years you should  be able to count at LEAST three (3) things you are crazy about. What is your thing? When people talk about you what are those things they can identify you with, or are you one of those people no one talks about because you cannot be associated with any relevant topic. What is your thing? Do you even have a thing?

Be passionate about God and the things of God or be passionate about the devil… be hot or be cold, know it or don’t know it…strive to go all the way or don’t go at all… do it well or don’t do it at all, either represent light or represent darkness but don’t be in-between the two…that results in ‘low current’ and that is the most irritating thing anyone could be.

Search yourself… if strength is taken from you, and you find yourself immobile for days… what is that thing people will miss you for or will they not even notice you are not there? What is that one or two or three thing you yourself will miss most that might bring you to tears because you are incapable of doing them? If you can’t think of anything (anything not anybody) then you are a complete waste. You should be very far from normal people.

so then because thou art lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee from my mouth’ (Rev 3;16).  This is a new year, make up your mind not to be a waste… so you don't get vomited by God or man. 

Nutty J

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happy New Year...

Hello dears... dont mind me for not updating my blog all these while, I have been busy, travelled to Warri some days before New Year's day. Too much groove and play jare and I just ignored blogsville. Anyways I hope you all had a Merry Christmas...

I want to wish you, my blog family a very Happy New and Prosperous Year... May all your expectations come through this year.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things arelovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things this year 2013...

I love you all. 


Nutty J

Ps: many triangles do you see below. #brainteaser