Single In The City

There is a reason its termed Singles Awareness Day (even though I now hear that is now celebrated on the 15th). Valentines day have an uncanny ability to make singles feel depressed and lonely and sour. Today 14th of February is that day of the year were most of you single chicks will look longingly as your girlfriends rush out the door clad in red with stars in her eyes clinging to her date, and wish that were you as you echo the words ''have fun ooo''... or you sit down listening to your girlfriend moan and whine about how confused she is...she doesnt know if she should spend the day with "Man A' or 'Man B' and is wondering why 'Man C' is still calling her....and you secretly wish that you had at least one person...you are not asking for too much oooo...just one person to spend the day with.

Well my dear, leave that thing o, you can choose to be happily single or sadly single on this day. One very simple and popular thing you can do today is THROW YOURSELF A PARTY!! Better yet Host a Single's Party. I mean what exactly is the big deal? If you dont have a partner, pining and wishful thinking wont bring you a partner the next day. Yes everyone is hooked up...but so bladdy what? TODAY you have been given a good reason for a party and you wanna waste it carrying a long face around? The thing is...happiness, doesnt rest in the bossom of the opposite sex, neither does it exist only on valentines day. You can choose to be sad and lonely and listen to songs like 'everybody hates me no body likes me, i'm gonna eat cockroach' or you can show yourself some love, I mean I love myself so much that I can actually mail myself a valentine's gift and still act surprised when it arrives..lol...az in 'wow Nutty just sent Jay a gift'

I look back with fond and not-too-fond memories of my past valentines' days...

2005: I had an awesome time with 'Angel' who had come visiting from his school bearing gifts.

2006: Spent it in Abuja with same boyfriend

2007: Spent it alone bcos 'Angel' and I had broken up and the relationship between 'PB' and I was'nt strong yet. So it was me...brandy...and some weed...with other single chicks. School life was fun/terrible. No gifts except from toasters

2008: I had travelled to ABJ to spend 13th-20th with 'Honey'... and I ended up spending most of that time in the bathroom with a cigarette between my lips and tears flowing like River Benue. Twas a terrible experience. I was the only one who gave gifts on this occassion...none from him.

2009: Spent it in church...in fact it was one of the best i've had so far. I will single....by choice that period.Was taking a break.

2010: Spent it with my current ex boyfriend who showed up by 6pm after we had agreed I should make Valentine's lunch that sunday (which we didnt eat again cos he was ina rush)...who came empty handed cos he said he didnt know what to get me...and who acted like a complete jerk....

2011: hmmmm...well for the first time in a while I actually wish I could just throw a party for myself and by myself. No such luck. Had a dinner date last night at Jades Palace and got a Black Berry and Italian sandals as gifts from A friend who I still dont know if I should date...today I'm having another date after work and gym with another friendI'll talk about later....

Bottom line... having a partner for Valentine's Day isnt a guarantee for happiness. If you are not hooked up this season...then make today a day you can remember with fond memories. Make it count... you dont have to be in love before you show yourself some love.




''If you mistakenly buy into the myth that you need a partner to be happy, being single can be lonely at times. However, if you view this time as an opportunity to work on yourself, appreciate what you already have, and make a plan to be an even better you, just imagine the kind of partner you will be attracting into your life—thanks, in part, to being single on Valentine's day.'' Rhonda Rabow M.A.


Happy Vals Day y'all...be happy today.












o le ku....tell me something when I no fit do...

Application for the position of 'Friend'

I thought someone stole my writing Mojo until a deeper search revealed that the reasons my words are stuck is because at a subconscious level I keep thinking there is more to life than my inconsequential tirade now and then. I mean people are more concerned this season about Jega and the ongoing voters registration as well as Egypt’s revolution and the possibility of Nigeria doing same soon, and these are the things matured minds want to read about…right?

I’m equally bothered about the above issues, eh en...but every man with watin dey pain am…and one of the things disturbing me is the fact that I can’t seem to make female friends. I never gave this a thought before because I was quite comfortable being a guys girl…but one cool Saturday I scrolled through my phone, for what I can’t remember, and noticed that the only female friends (not hi, hello type of friends) are friends I’ve had since secondary school, just three of them…(who by the way are based in warri, thus far from me) and only one female friend I made when I relocated to Lagos in 2008. So 2008-2009-2010-2011…almost 4 yrs and I made only one female friend? Its eerie somehow, don’t you think?

It never bothered me till now…I mean I’m always hanging out…and the fact that I hang out with guys alone never registered in my head till that Saturday. So I’m forced to ask…what the heck is wrong with me? Have I been cold towards my fellow ladies, or have they been the one brushing me off…if so why? Watin I do them?

Long story short…last month I made up my mind to put in extra efforts to get female friends…my target was to get a friend every two months, thus by December I’ll have made six (6) friends. That journey started last month and so far all I’ve gotten were polite brush offs…azz in I just don’t gerrit…women are very difficult people I swear.Its hard to please them. I say hi…I compliment the two I have eyes on now…I even send an sms here and there, but do I get a favourable response? No… I’m I making progress? No…Are they taking this as seriously as I am? No…this is February and I haven’t made half a female friend not to talk of one…

‘have you paused to think for a moment that these chicks you want to make your friend, just doesn’t want to be friends with you? or can your ego not process that?’ asked iboze, one of my online sarcastic witch of a male friend.

Its crossed my mind…but so does it cross the minds of guys who woo girls that just don’t give them the time of the day, do they give up? No…most of the time don’t they still get the girls? YES…eh en..so shall I get them.

But in case you have tips on how to make the process faster…please I’m your home girl ooo, give me tips ooo. Truth be told I’ll rather be content with my online female friends… but sometimes…I need to hang out offline with chicks too…and have ladies night out or in, and go shopping...these I can’t do with my virtual friends and I can’t continue to hang out with guys only. I long for girly things sometimes too.

Help me tell these chicks to stop fronting for me o before I slap sense into their head

And I’ll appreciate any help I can get on how to go about achieving this goal. Thank you in advance....mwuah mwuah mwuah

Proposals

I just wanna ask, what is the right way for it to be done in Nigeria. Some one tells me, that your husband to be shouldn't propose to you (with ring) before the introduction ceremony, where his people are formerly introduced to yours. And after he has been accepted by your family, can he then give you an engagement ring. But if this is so...then you already know its coming...so there can be nothing as thrilling as seeing him kneel down in rain water and bring out a ring from his inner pocket and asking you 'will you marry me'....or nothing as romantic as been proposed to in a romantic environment without you expecting it to happen that day. I mean If you have already done the introduction..then he can as well say one day 'eh en...see the ring I bought today....try it on so we know if it fits'

I used to think he should propose first...and after you accept his proposal can you invite his family for the introduction ceremony...but again, what if you are already wearing the engagement ring and your family, especially your father rejects your suitor. What would be done then....do you return his ring? or you wait and hope your old man changes his mind?

Another person said...he shoudd propose but the babe shouldn't accept the ring till daddy approves.

These are things I need to know...what is the acceptable way its done in our naija culture. Guys which of the two ways will you or did you do... lemme know sharply. Put it down to curiosity.

Nevertheless there is one text message I got...that leaves me wanting to laugh hard and pray seriously at the same time

''Nutty J* well my problm is to see u. and I have see u. my coming to you is a boys and gril. will you marry me. I have been hear about you for long time througt Isreal*, well if the resgust is greste, give me a flash. I love you.' Samuel*

I don really suffer sha. The curious thing is this is a person who has mobile police escorting him around. I dont know which gods I offended to warrant this. Azzin what is bringing rubbish to the barracks?

THE STYLISH & VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARDS.........January 13th.

I have been given an award by a friend, a sister and someone I know I can run to in an instant without fear or shame when I don put myself for wahala or when the world troubleth me. Her sense of humour in her blogs and her passion in real life for Justice and fairness makes coming online addictive. You can reach her @ 0800-Mena-ukodo-is-ready. If your mobile isnt nearby, just click on the link. Mena thank you for the award




According to the rules, i should say 7 things about myself;

(So I swear on Nutty J's Blog Bible to tell the truth...the whole truth and nothing but the truth).

Here we go:

1. I love the art of flirting. Not everyone knows how to flirt and just leave it at that. But I do and I cant help it even when I try.

2. I hate physical contact. Its a reason why I dont like sharing my bed with anyone. Dont ask me how I manage to share bed with a partner/lover/boyfriend (when I used to)...cos I dont know.

3. I'm weak when it comes to friendship. I find it difficult to say NO, to my best/true friends. Its one reason I have few true buddies. They are the ones that love me enuff not to take advantage of that weakness

4. As outspoken and fearless as I am...I could be incredibly shy. I find it difficult to look directly in a persons eye. No matter how hard I try, maintaining eye contact is something I find hard to do especially with someone new. And especially after sex with someone old/new

5. Most of my friends, outside my main crew, are almost always 10-22 years older than me. I sometimes find that they better understand me than people my own age group.


6. I've had sex more times than I can remember BUT I have never had an ORGASM. Even though I give my partner(s) countless orgasms. Life is just not fair...

7. I owe my life and every good thing and people that come my way to God Almighty. I owe my purpose driven, truth seeking and passionate way of life to my father. I owe my good nature and kind spirit (polishing halo) to my mother.



Also, am expected to give the award to 15 other bloggers


1} Neefemi: because she is awesome, versatile and stylish and one of the first people who welcomed me to Blogsville. Her passion for music is some thing to admire.
2}Vanity XX: because her topics are exotic, erotic and versatile. She is just a craze girl

3} Kay 9: There's just something about this guy that makes me stalk his page. Check it for urself

4}2cute4u: Chacha...I mean you can ask chacha anything and you get a stylish and versatile answer for free. Think am exaggerating? Just click it then

5} Sisi Yemmi : Her thoughts are very interesting and her style is unique. Besides she's a warri babe like me and finished from my high school (Fieldcrest)...shhh...she doesnt know that..hehehe

6} Lily Johnson: Because I enjoy her style

7} Carey: There is something true and stylish and Versatile with the way Carey writes. He could carry you home anytime with his blog post. If you dont believe me, he is a click away

8} Climbtonowhere: If You looking for stlye...then check out the life of this saleswoman in NYC
9} Mwajim Al: Right here...right now I am gonna say her blog is awesome. Its always a breath of fresh air
10} Taynament: I give her this award because her topics are exotic, truthful, versatile, served with attitude!

11} Azazel: I dont know about stylish...but the award is also about versatility and you dey try for that area.

12}Mena : You are definetly on the brink. I give you this award cos there is never a dull moment on your page. People you gats to know this chick

13} Sickle Cell Warrior : Because this is one blog that reaches out to all and sundry. Her attempt to educate the world about sickle cell is amazing and she kicks arse too. This Award is for you girl.

14}: Musing of a Caramel Latte addict: A very cerebral, capable blogger! This is a blog everyone should be a part of. Temi rocks

15}Simple Chic; Her blog is stylish


Now the rules are simple.

1}Thank the blogger that gave you the award.

2}Then list 7 things about yourself.

3}Give out the same awards to 15 other bloggers.

4}Then contact them.

Its not as easy as you think...phew!!!


Am off to contact them.


PS: The Big and Minature throphies are my idea and not part of the rule/regulations. But we do deserve them...hence you can take them home. Kisses

How Do I Handle This....

August 2010.

Nutty J: eh calm down...I can understand where she's coming from. Its a normal reaction
C.A : No Jay dont tell me that...do you know she disrespected me by sending you that mail? Did she think of me? Why are Delta girls so aggressive?

'abeg abeg abeg....don't forget I'm a delta girl ooo no just insult me' I joked

'Thats the thing...I've never seen any one as mature as you...you are different, I'm very sorry for this embarrassment, you are one friend I don't JOKE with...'

'E don do. abeg you guys shouldn't quarrel becos of me...pick her calls and just try and make her understand how u feel about this'

'For what? I'm not picking her calls ever again...thank God I haven't promised her commitment..thank God for exposing her bad character'

...as he spoke my mind wondered back to our time together. I met him as a young bloke fresh out of NYSC and working with one of the big banks in Warri. He had three banks offering him a job at the time...I can attribute that to his 2'1 GP but I'd be lying if I said his charisma didn't have a lot to do with it. I was in my final year in school when we met in 2007...and we hit it off pretty fast. There was just something about C.A I found irresistible...we became like rice and stew almost immediately. Our relationship progressed steadily...well steadily until I discovered there wouldn't be any ever afters. Our genotypes are incompatible.

It broke my heart to leave him (this was 2008) my mum knew him and understood why we couldn't be together...but I think he was more broken. He never gave up on us...three years after he was still on my case. The above dialogue happened at my place when I spent my 2 weeks leave in Warri in August. I had visited him earlier that week at the office, took a pic of him...and captioned it 'Sugar Honey'. This I did without any evil intent...I knew he was seeing someone but I didnt bother asking if it was serious or not...I was just so happy to see him and glad we still had our easy friendship between us. So i dont know what triggered the nasty email his girlfriend sent me when she saw the pic...was she mad cos I captioned it 'Sugar Honey' or did her greviance stem up from the fact that I captioned it 'sugar honey' and TAGGED him on it...or maybe she just dey vex say I take picture of the guy...

'what do you mean by tagging my boyfriend sugar honey, you are a girl like me and you knw what that means...I know how best to take care of cases like you. Its not desperation o, its called protection. If you love yourself so much. I beg you lay off becos etc etc'

So when CA made all those declaration above...I was glad. I mean i hated her already and from the look of things, she didn't deserve to marry the man I loved just becos I cant marry him. I tried to reason with him on her behalf but it didn't really come from my heart...imma gonna find him a woman of substance, some decent girl who wont be embarrassing her husband anyhow, somebody with good home training...yep that's my plan...or rather that was the plan I had till...

December 2nd 2010

*ring! ring!!*

'hey wassup up... how u dey? I'm coming to Warri this Xmas ooo, hope u aren't traveling'

'for real...good good....eh *clears throat*'

'ki lo de? why are you sounding like...besides this one you called me very early so...'

'ya...I have something important to tell you'

'talk na...abi are you getting married?' I joked

'hmmm...na wa ooo, you just dragged it out of me...yes o...on the 18th of this month''

...I dont know how I said all the congratulations...and good luck, I even promised to be there. I was happy for him, I swear I was...I mean he has to marry na abi? But how come I just heard about this 18days to the D-Day. How come I feel so bad...am I not supposed to marry before him at least? And when I visited the wedding website (oh yeah they had one)...guess who the lucky girl is? Yes oooooo...the same girl that told me all those things...the same girl that he said he was thankful he hadn't committed to...hence he would break up with.

See I just dey vex....I didnt attend the wedding...I've been in warri for the holidays and I havent called to congratulate him...the one when dey pain me pass be say, a cheque I should have cashed since, I still haven't done so cos he works in the bank where I have to go cash it.
Disappointed

I mean you guys tell me, I'm not jealous I'm just very disappointed in him, didnt our friendship at least mean anything? Why he no tell me?? Why didnt we discuss this...how do I continue the friendship knowing fully well I dislike the wife and she reciprocates this dislike with equal passion. How do I even forgive him for marrying and/or making marriage plans behind my back?

...and I really need to cash that cheque before new year. Dont know how to get to their other branch in town. :-(


Nutty J