Good Bye My Lover.... Good Bye My Friend

Its not laziness... its not for lack of something to blog about... its not distraction. My new laptop is going to take all the blame for my not blogging as much as I want to. As beautiful as it is with very authentic keyboard and lovely feel, I just cant seem to connect with it... the idea of switching it on and using it for more than 30mins  is something I don't look forward to. I guess we haven't bonded yet.

So what is this thing I am about to talk about? I'll tell you.... my ex boyfriend, one of my ex boyfriend told me this morning that he proposed to his girlfriend and that she said 'YES'.... for some reasons that has gotten me upset since morning. His email...which was a reply to my email, because we keep steadily in touch... came in today by 9:15am...and since then I haven't stopped cooking. I made a one week full pot of Vegetable soup with beef, kpomo, stock fish and croaker fish....after that I made a two weeks pot of chicken stew, after that I made Jollof Rice...and the house help had to beg me to stop when I told her to go to the market to get me ingredients to fry chin-chin. 

Cooking is not my favourite thing... but its what I do when I'm upset. Either that or cleaning. How can my Angel  be planning on marrying next year. We broke up in 2006... but we have been friends since then, he's one of my best friends, my confidante...my ace. We talk about everything and gossip everyone, and when he started dating this chick in UK early this year, I thought it was just to get over his last relationship....so where did all this proposal/marriage thing come from now? 

I'm happy for him, not because he will soon be getting married, hell no, seriously that is one man I don't want marrying anyone...that is anyone except me (or at least till I'm married)...No I'm happy for him because he sounds extremely happy, happier than he has been for a while. And he deserves to be happy because he lives his life making others happy. But I cant shake the feeling that I am losing my friend to a stranger... there's this pain at the bottom of my stomach that sends me to the bathroom every time I think of it. I cant tell anyone this because they would think its ridiculous and laugh me to death... its been five years come on. Thus I'm blogging about it.

Something I reluctantly learned from this, this morning was that I can fully move on now... I realised that I've never ever completely given anyone else 100% of my love and heart and always left an escape door open in every relationship I have been in the last 5 years...because there has always been a tiny weeny part of me which hoped...and wished that despite everything in our past that made us part ways, we may one day get back together. Well there goes my that. 

I need to stop here... re-reading what I'm writing makes me want to go to the bathroom again.

Oh yeah, I got a Honda CRV car on saturday of last week... I'm yet to pimp it. 

I'm still searching for a job while still going for physio. I should maybe think seriously of starting my own business...but what?

If you dont know Joxy  then you are missing alot. She's a great blogger and has been a great friend to me... besides she likes cooking, so much that I've never met anyone except my mum who enjoys the act of cooking like she does. 

I love you all

Nutty J

Na wa... Na wa

Hello...I'm glad you stopped by and you are here reading this, i'm sure you can help me figure this out. So I sent an email to my company on the 27th of September. And it goes thus:

'Dear Sir,

I'll be leaving Delta State for Lagos first week of October and I plan to resume on Monday the 10th of October...I'm much better now, I'll use a walking aid but only for a few months as continual physiotherapy will correct my movement 100% .

I want to thank you very much for your patience and understanding during this period. I really appreciate it and God bless you.

See you soon

Nutty J.'

I sent it to the Operations manager, the financial controller (because they have been paying me since I left in May and courtsey demands, and my head of department)

The next day (28th September 2011) my HOD responded with:

'Hi Nutty,

 

Glad to hear you are getting better and would be coming back soon.

 

While looking forward to having you back, may I say …may the Lord keep you.

 

All the best!

 

Kind regards'

I arrived Lagos yesterday and today I went through my emails as usual before bed and found another email from my HOD sent today the 5th of October 2011 and it goes:

'Dear Nutty J,

 

The decision has been taken by management to terminate your employment with immediate effect.

 

Attached is a scan copy of the formal letter to that effect. Original/acknowledgement copy will be delivered to you at your present address by courier.

 

Please acknowledge receipt of this email and provide your current address by return email.

 

Wishing you the very best in your future endeavor.'

 I just read it 5mins ago ie 10: 50pm... I haven't replied or acknowledged the email... probably cos I dont know how to reply or maybe I'm just pissed off. I could have stayed in Delta State and finished my physiotherapy where it is cheap instead of rushing down here back to Lagos, and making arrangements with a private Physiotherapist, or maybe I'm just too chicken to acknowledge receipt of the email tonight.

Anyways I wont think about it tonight... I'll think about it tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

Nutty J

The Art of Complaining

Com-plain
[kuh m-pleyn]

1.      To express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault
2.      To tell of one’s pains, ailments etc

That’s the dictionary meaning of COMPLAIN

Other words for ‘COMPLAIN’ include but are not limited to:

Bemoan, bewail, crap, find fault, fuss, grumble, lament, nag, moan, and whine, whimper etc.

Some people have got a Master’s degree and currently are studying for a PhD in Complaining.  It’s so sad that they are not even aware of this habit in themselves.
There are two ways in which people get into the terrible habit of complaining over everything, relevant or irrelevant:

-        Hereditary:  I’m sure you all can understand that a child would take after his mother and/or father. If you were unlucky to have parents who complain about everything ranging from the price of bread, to the amount of tax being paid, to the choice of soap or the rudeness of their colleague then there is an 80% chance that you will also be a whiner.

-        Victim Mentality:  This is a state of mind where you believe that everything and everyone is out to get you. You moan about people not treating you right, you moan about your friends not calling you like you call them, you complain about your boss over working you, you complain about being sick and no one is there for you, you complain about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend, you complain about having a boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn’t understand you, you complain about your family, you complain about your hair dresser, you complain about the pastor’s sermon… you complain about your ex boyfriend, in your opinion they all want something from you in exchange for nothing. Even your mobile phone’s ringtone is sad ‘whatever my lot thou hath taught me to say it is well it is well with my soul’…

What you are is a very SAD person and you may not know this, but you are spreading your negativity to those around you…that is why people avoid you. They use you because they know you need a reason to complain later, so why not? They can’t stand being around you for long because all you do is talk about your trials and woes real or imagined. They won’t invite you to social meetings because all you do is sit there and find something wrong with the people there. You lose your real friends one after the other because when they say:

‘Hello dear…how are you?’ you reply with
‘ I’m okay…this life no easy at all, can you imagine what happened yesterday blab a bla’

People begin to find visiting you or calling you exhausting…it’s like trying to walk through a train wreck….very annoying and exhausting. So it’s easier to just avoid you, because guess what??? You are not the only one with issues. Because your friend has chosen not to voice hes’/hers’ out doesn’t mean she doesn’t wet her pillows with tears at night. But how would you know when all she does is listen to you rant and rave every time.
How do you get out of this bad habit? It’s simple…

-         GET OVER YOURSELF!!! The world does not revolve around you. No body, not your parents, not your friends, not your enemy, no one owes you anything. Life is per head. Because you do good doesn’t mean those around you are under any obligation to do you good in return. Stop expecting people to be good/kind to you because you look good or work hard or do well. Stop expecting anything from anyone… you are in control of only yourself and your actions.

-        GET A LIFE!!! Another reason you complain so much is because probably outside your work and your house you have nothing else going for you so you do not understand how or why others seem so content and happy without you or your presence in their life. Get busy…join a club, volunteer at a foundation, go fishing, go partying. Get your own life and stop studying other people’s short comings and concentrate on your own life.

-        GET A VOICE: If you feel you are being given the short end of the stick…speak up. There is no point ranting and raving to your friends and family for something someone else has done to you. What are they going to do about it for you? If you are sick and you feel you don’t deserve it, tell it to GOD. If your boss is over using you and short paying you…speak up and tell your boss. If your family treats you like crap…speak up and tell them. If a particular friend mistreats you, tell those friends. It’s simple
I’m sure you are not aware of this, but there are some people who have REAL PROBLEMS. How you decide to define ‘real problem’ would actually be based on how broad or narrow minded you are, but please repeat after me ‘SOME PEOPLE HAVE REAL PROBLEMS’… say it aloud…say it one more time. Good.  Now you know. There are people in places dying of starvation, people who are in prison without trial for something they were accused wrongly of, people who are dying of AIDS, Women dying of Breast Cancer. You have good health…you have shelter, you have food, you have friends and family (you are pushing away), you are not in prison…why don’t you count your blessings and stop boring people with things they can’t change for you.

Summary

Before you start complaining, pause and ask yourself:
a)      Is this worth complaining about or I’m I just looking for sympathy/pity? (that’s pathetic)
b)      Will whining to him/her solve the problem….will she/he give me an answer I don’t already know
c)      Am I medically stupid? Must I talk about myself all the time?

Answer these questions honestly each time you feel like whining and you’ll be on your way to becoming a person others want to associate with. You can thank me later….

Quote:  Any idiot can complain, it takes someone with brains to do something about it.



Nutty J

This is Inspiring

This just goes to show that you may have no say in the cards life deal you...but you damn well have a say in how you decide to play those cards. She has one leg... but she beat the others hands down in the dance!!!

Nothing is impossible.

Nutty J.

When The Dog Barks...When the bee Stings...

I miss going to work
I miss Partying
I miss being in the middle of things
I miss using my legs without support
I miss blogging
I miss my ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex boyfriend
I hate going to physiotherapy
I hate still using crutches
I hate not being able to eat what I want for fear that my lack of activity would make me add weight
I hate what Nigeria is turning into....
I hate my boyfriend's insecurities and how he robs me of my peace...
...I dont know if I've done the right thing by ex-ing him.




God...
Jesus...
Holy Spirit...
Money...
Intelligent conversations...
Grey's Anatomy...
Love...
Peace...
Being of help...
Being useful...
Jollof Rice...
Chocolate Cake...
Blogger...
DSTV...
New Cloths/Shopping...
Office Work...
Facebook...

.....when I'm feeling sad....I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bahd!!!!!


Nutty J