Hiya...Happy Monday to you all. In fact the best way to start a monday especially for those who over played during the weekend is coffee...not decaf, plain old coffee. dont worry what the doctors said, they cant know everything.
Talking about weekends, mine was awesome. I had made up my mind to re-connect with my friends, and accept all the invitations to this party and that movie and the beach etc etc. In between all that I got a call from my boyfriend
'' Hey babes whats up...that place is noisy where u at?'' he asked
'' Hello sweets...I'm at the cinema''
'' J...its 9.45pm..when re you going home?'
'' Donno...the movie wud end in like 40mins''
'' Can we talk about this later? cos I dont understand you again ooo''
That was friday...Sunday we were chattting again, and he asked me a question that got me thinking, he was like ''Are you trying to fill ur days with alot of activity so u can get ur mind off me?...cos we hardly connect anymore and I'm a bit uncertain as to why''
Okay that question gave me food for thought. Was that what I was doing? You remember the time I blogged about me not knowing what I got myself into in the rship i entered? well...after that blog I made a subconscious decision to relax in the rship and stop carrying it on my head...prior to that time, bcos the love really bit me hard, I'd decided to reduce my outtings and cut back on the amount of Invitations I receive and honour during weekends...and just try and focus on my relationship...ie give my all to it, be a good girlfriend, so that one thing or the other will not spoil the good thing I was entering (long thing). In so doing I began to unconsciously depend on Mr. Man for not only love but for the social life I had cut back on,at least a bit of that isn't too much to ask na, and when I didnt get it, I get upset,meanwhile his bahaviour ni, doesnt encourage me at all in the relationship... Now I find myself easing up on the relationship,stopped asking for much and just having fun with my friends once again. But the question is I'm I doing that in an attempt to get this guy semi-out of my heart so I can stop feeling dissappointed when he falls short of the things he's supposed to be doing, or I'm I just getting my groove on cos that is how I used to be before the relationship..(I sha realised how much I've missed that)
I just tire for the matter...I love this guy solidly, in fact i can safely call him the love of my life...at least for this time(lol). But just becos he is the love of my life, does it mean he will be my love for life? This whole relationship thing is confusing ooo, or maybe its just becos I had been out of the whole datin thing for almost two years prior to this one, that is why I am finding it so difficult to adjust. What I know is that i'm finding it hard to just love without expecting the same measure in return or even more sef...Is that so wrong? I saw Sting's blog on relationship games and I cant still help laughing at some of the rules there. na wa...pesin no go craze for this thing. or maybe we should just leave relationships for the adults, becos I swear I never reach the age for all these confusion...lol. the Irony of the whole thing sef is that the men that love you completly 101%, you just dont have feelings for them. Na wa for the life sha
Anyways these are all the things going through my head right now as I drink coffee and try to do the days job. meanwhile I presume we are safe now from the acid rain thing? Becos I miss walking under slight showers of rain. Lemme get back to work. Y'all have a splendid week...thank God there is the easter break coming up.