Wednesday, August 18, 2010

At your own pace

I have to apologize for the break in transmission.... I'll do my blog round soon and catch up with all the juicy gossip. I've just had alot of distractions lately...some good, some bad, some frightening.

Anyways I was at the Redemption Camp last week and any one of you who have been there or heard about the place would know that the people there, especially during the convention or holy ghost congress are usually in millions. There is constant human traffic. On this particular night service, I'd gotten from my seat when offering was called for, to go ease my self. On my way back I ws in a rush to get back to my seat so as to partake in the choruses going on, and also to make sure no one takes my seat by mistaking my long absence for exit. On my way I was a bit annoyed at some people just strolling leisurely like they had nothing to do, the worse set where those just standing and looking around like tourist, some with a confused look on their face

''excuse me ooooo, you are in my way' I said countless times, not bothering to hide the irritation in my voice. All the while thinking, some people just dont know why they are here.

I continued at my pace which by the way was imagine my surprise when I got a tap and heard:

''pls you are in my way...move aside so I can pass'' in a rude way.

I was fast.... I was moving fast enough, but then it hit me that I was as fast as my destination demanded. Meaning the people I'd past on my way may not necessarily be slow or clueless, they were just as fast or as slow as their destination demanded...or were probably at their destination.

So many times we go through life trying to keep up with the joneses...forget that everyone has his/her own destination. We see people and we say to ourselves ''damn, that man lazy sha'' he may not be lazy he probably has no where he's in a haste to get to. He probably is as rich as his situation demands...or has no reason to get richer...or your idea of average is his idea of rich

Running at my pace may make you miss ur own finish line, and when you get to my destination you will find out that you have bitten more or less than you can chew. Maintain your own lane...slowing down to another persons pace may make you reach ur destination too late.

Maintain your pace...flying at another's pace or crawling at another's pace may make you miss your own victory line or get there too late. The life is per head...

On your marks....set....oya Go!!!!


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Last Night....

....I couldn't sleep. Why? I was pondering over what Taynement said somedays ago: We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us"

Now there is this guy who has loved me for a year plus...accepts me the way I am and is doing all the right things....all the things I wanted my ex to do. He talks to me all the time, he wants to know what is going thru my mind, he wants to be friends with my family, he wants to send  me lunch if he cant leave his office to meet me for lunch. he wants to be there for my low points and high points. He is kind, gentle and caring and I know he loves can always tell when a man loves you, he doesnt need to shows

I like him...I respect him...I love him, yes I do... I love him like I love a friend that is just a friend. ( I have a lot of those) I don't bother if he hasn't called a whole day. I wont bother if my sms don't get replied...I wont bother if he switches off his phone. He doesn't give me butterflies...he doesn't make my heart stop...he doesn't even make it beat fast... at least not yet. I give excuses:

- He doesnt have the drive I need to match mine
- He isnt overly ambitious but is lucky he is doing well
- He is too passive...
- etc

But he loves me...and he loves me the right way. Isnt this what I've been praying for? What do I do? Should I wait a while and see if I can love him back...or should I just turn my back now. What should it be...which is better: The love that loves us....or the love that we love?

I want a McDreamy (Grey's Anatomy) or at least a McSteamy.....someone that makes me tingle at the sound of his voice, someone who I can rely on his strength...someone who can win an argument with me, some one who can call me to order.....someone who can tame me lovingly not because he is trying to prove that he is a man, someone who can arouse my sexual goddess. Someone who I can sincerly enjoy a joke with without wondering if he gets the joke or not.

McVet just doesnt click somehow....or maybe its me just wanting the wrong things.

Besides I'm not ready to date again...not to talk about such a serious kind of dating.

I know I'm rambling....but this is just what is in my head right now. Drama...relationship+to+be+or+not+to+be drama