Friday, March 26, 2010
Nice Girl....Good Girl
The other day on my way home from work,with a friend who so far does not want to take 'no' for an answer. We were in between topics when he turned to me and said:
'Nutty J, you are a very beautiful girl..very beeyoootiful, why are you not nice'' he said abi it was a question sef, I dont know
'Please face the road abeg, I want to see next christmas biko' I replied jokingly but I was serious oh...see this man wan kill me troway for lagos road all in the name of 'be nice'
According to him...all I needed was a touch of niceness to complete my beauty, that he was gonna teach me how to be nice and when I'm nice i'll see the difference (difference in what abeg tell me)...from what he said, if I could go out of my way to say the right things in certain gathering and maybe later if I'm with my 'clique' i can speak my church mind, and be a tiny bit not too blunt (I dont know a better way to put it), and If I can be a bit patient with people since we all know people are bound to mess up, and more tolerant ( I dont know how he meant) and one or two things too then I'll be a sweet girl.
Truth be told LWKM that day...sweet ke? shebi I don turn chocolate...later on I pondered over what he said I couldnt help wondering where the line between being 'Good' and 'Nice' is drawn. If being nice, is lowering my standards on the things I believe and stand for just so that I can 'seem' more accomodating then No, thank you...I dont need your approval on if I'm accommodating or not,If being Nice means when I see you as a friend messing up, I hold back on telling you becos I dont want to hurt your feelings...then eh...No thanks I dont want to be nice, I want to be your FRIEND and friendship means no BULLSHITTING. If being nice means saying 'Yes', when I mean 'No' just becos I want you to feel at home in whatever new foolishness you've come up with...then No, thank you I dont want to be nice.
In my opinion people should be good. Do the right things at the right time the right way. Say what you mean at all times...saying or doing things differently from what you believe it is or should be just to please your environment, or so you will be accepted...makes you continue on that road (that u actually dont believe in) and before you know it you will end up with a wrong life. Now i'm not saying you need to give an opinion on every issue or talk in a crude way that not only speaks the truth but ends up embarrassing and hurting the feelings of the next person....no, that is not what i'm saying,there is a difference between being truthfully blunt and being mean.If you are good you should be good all the way and learn how to deliver your 'church mind' skillfully. But in the process please dont lose yourself in all that cuddly,warm and soft cushion termed 'nice'. Be yourself and stop faking. The truth is those that mind, dont matter and those that matter wont mind.
But that is just me and my definition of 'good' and 'nice'...It may not be correct, but na so e de for my head...how do you see this...what do you think?
PS: The 'Nice' being refered to here is not the literary/dictionary meaning of the word "Nice'...I'm talking about the figurative meaning...the one society has in its head.
PPS: Have a good week people...have fun, break some rules and keep stepping. xoxo