WHY???

Three magical letters... W H Y. 

Do you know how much more easier life will be if we stop and think W H Y we do the things we do?

ExxonMobil have one of its safety slogan as: STOP,THINK,ACT...  (The Power of 3, I think its called) Its a way for you to evaluate the circumstance/happenings around you before you make the decision you want to make. 

WHY
WHY NOW
WHY THIS WAY

How bad can it be/get? An email came in today and practically got me upset and as was my usual fashion I wanted to reply back, argue some points, give a piece of my mind and etc etc... but then it occurred to me like 'why' bother??? It ain't gonna change anything... so why respond?

The errors we make in life are sometimes a product of the fact that we don't think about the reason we do the things we do.  For instance, so many people would have avoided being obese if they pause and reason: 'am I eating this because i'm hungry, or because its 1pm, thus time for lunch'. 

So we get stuck in unpleasant situations brought about by making decisions to 'go with the flow'...and by the time we realize we are unhappy, it usually 'too late' 

Its never too late to try and erase those errors you've made, except you are dead... because its one thing not to fully comprehend why you got into a mess in the first place...and its another not to know 'WHY you have chosen to remain in a state of unease'. The common factors usually are not far from: 'What will people say if I suddenly change this?'... 'but its some how naaaah' bla bla bla. 

Sweethearts let your actions be guided by the 'WHYs' of this life. Before you take up that new project, before you act, before you say yes/no, before you decide...Stop, and think 'WHY am I doing this'. 

But if its too late for that first thought... your thinking now should be: 'Why am I not doing anything about this'. 

It all comes down to W H Y

Learning from your mistakes is educative...but come on, some mistakes should just be avoided, they are nothing but a pain in the behind. 

Nutty Jay

Dealing With It...

Hello people

I know I've been missing in action, been busy. Busy doing research, writing exams, tackling issues at my job, breaking up with my boyfriend, going through some financial challenges, making mistakes, getting disappointed by some people I had a different opinion about, dealing with my faith, making mistakes there too, getting myself up, dusting the dirt off and healing

But its aiight...I'm still standing, I can't touch each and every one of the above mentioned but I guess I owe it to you guys to talk about the breakup in my relationship, since most of you have followed the progress of the relationship thus far. It happened in the first Wednesday of February 2013, cant really go into much details though, but it just wasn't working for me...guess I knew all along right? since it was never a functional relationship... off and on... out of the three (3) years stretch, I cant remember having a full functional 12 months where we dated at a stretch without breaking up, or doing the long distance quarreling (like when I was in Delta state recuperating) . God knows I tried to come to terms with the relationship, I tried everything I could to make it work, and I guess that was where the problem was. I had allowed myself and every other person convince me that I had a good thing going, and that as usual I'm wanting what does not exist, he's a good guy, this that that, and me, I'm not serious etc etc. Like the bible says, 'faith comes by hearing'...so be careful what you hear folks. I have heard a lot of disparaging things about myself that I end up second guessing my instincts a lot.

So why did I run away? The same reason I had always told him marriage may not work for us. We have two different perspective of life and we are what can be termed by Dexter (one pastor like that) 'A Bickering Mis-match'. So have I always known? Oh yes I have... but he is a nice (good?) guy. And who doesn't want a nice guy? especially in the midst of some of these clowns that pass as men these days.  But like my friend Bliss would say about certain issues 'babes, it has to make sense in your head, it has to be right in your head'. This relationship just wasn't right in my head. It appeared cute, it looked good, it had all the right trapping...but it just wasn't right. And the more it became *seriouser* the more it began to weigh heavily in my heart. I knew I was making a big mistake. I now believe when Dr. Monroe says : The enemy of 'Right' isn't 'wrong'... the enemy of 'Right'...is good. A 'good' thing sometimes stops you from doing the right thing.

However going through a break up isn't as easy as it sounds. Or as easy as it used to be.

Lessons Learnt.

1. Don't prolong whatever you are not sure of. Don't even start it if you can help it.
2. Don't make promises...
3. People would criticize you whether you are right or wrong. So do right by you
4. Sometimes there really is no time, to waste time.
5. Not everyone who becomes your friend is a potential partner. Don't mix things up

How to deal with it

1. Don't find solace in the next person waiting in line, or the next one, or the next one. It won't work
2. When you are pressured by people and circumstances to change your mind, remember why you broke it off, and stand your ground. Except you had no good reason
3. Don't stay away or turn to food for solace.
4. Don't run to the church and try to hide behind it. You shouldn't hide. The earlier you begin dealing with it from your head and heart and with the consequences, the earlier you find peace
5. ...invest in chocolates. lol
6. If you made a mistake...go back.
7. Oh...you should ask God for forgiveness, for breaking someone's heart
8. After the storm, ask your ex for forgiveness too, cos technically there was a hope of marriage and you just shattered the other person's expectations
9. Move on

I beg that's all... I feel sick this morning, I don't know why.
 I can't wait to go to bed tonight.

Thank God its Friday. xoxo


Nutty Jay.

Still I Rise

I dedicate this poem to all those (unfortunately they are not here) who don't know how  to act around me anymore immediately they hear my Genotype is SS...like seriously? like all of a sudden I become a specimen under the microscope that you don't know whether to crush or hug...like I'm supposed to apologize to them for not looking the part or for shattering their illusions about me... awwww...sometimes the look on their faces in direct contrast to what he/she says is too priceless for words. I laugh most times cos its just darn too funny...other times, I'm disappointed and sometimes, I'm just indifferent...but mehn whatever.

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise. 

-Maya Angelou

Happy Women's Day

Nutty Jay...

The Hours in a Day...

All I want to be is successful...I want to have an all round success. Life, Work, Ministry, Career, Health, Relationship etc. But I have noticed that one or two aspects suffer to allow the other aspects of one's life thrive.

Now I don't know how successful people manage to do it. You see a person with good health and sound mind, doing fantastic in his job, going successfully  higher spiritually, whose family is in tact and thriving with a sound career path and he still has time to attend his charity functions.

How do they manage it???

Really right now I feel like I'm swamped...its a good kind of swamped so don't get me wrong. But its a bit chaotic right now, and I'm not feeling like I'm on top of my game at all

Maybe...just maybe if the days were 27 hours in each day, I might have at least enough time to exhale.

How do you guys do it?


Nutty Jay

Policies

'Jay...what does the policy say' is the usual response I get from my boss when I go and mediate on behalf of a colleague on any matter. He refers me back to the policy. The company's policy. This was formulated to avoid any form of 'na we we na...do for me'. It guides our decisions in the company so that every one operates in an expected manner and makes sure all dealings are fair. You agreed to work for the company, so you must work according to the laid down rules and regulations of the company and be rewarded according to what the policy says about that particular reward you are gunning for. No 'I'm a friend of the boss'  arguments.

Now, whilst it is rare to cram the Company's policy, there are people who know where to find and get everything they want from it. Those people cannot be cheated in the company, because they come prepared and say '...Madam, according to the policy, I'm entitled to so so and so...' in such scenarios, I plead their case favorably to the MD and if for instance another colleague is there grunting and murmuring and trying to give reasons why that other person shouldn't have it (bad belle people) I hold on firmly and say 'This is what the company promises in so so and so event, if you don't do it Sir, then this document is invalid'. And it is done. Case closed

So also it is with life. If you have agreed to serve God with all you have and made him the Lord of your life...you have to live by the Kingdom's policy. The Kingdom has a manual that guides our interactions and day to day life here on earth. On every issue.  So if you are a child of the Kingdom, and you still don't know what you should be doing or not doing in that kingdom, then you are missing a lot, being cheated out of a lot by the devil and you will continue to make mistakes like a non-citizen of the Kingdom of God.

Enough is enough...its time to take back all the Devil has stolen from us... Its not okay for you to be a christian and still be cheated and led astray by the Devil. Consult your manual so you can boldly enter the throne of grace and make petitions...claim all the promises and most importantly know how to walk tall and uprightly like a Child of God. For instance what does the bible say about mouth ulcers? You check and you see that the word says 'By His stripes, Ye have been healed'. You hold on to that and say it and give thanks. Case closed. Are people tormenting you in your place of work or in your family? Check your manual, 'No weapon formed against me shall prosper'... oh so it is there, pray it. Case closed. Or are you struggling with fornication? You prayerfully consult your manual and you see 'Do you not know that your body is the temple of The Spirit of Holiness who dwells within you, whom you have received from God, and you are not your own?' You see that and you say that to the devil and you shake off the feeling...feel free to sing in addition: 'satan comot for road ooo..I carry holy ghost, I no get break ooo, I go jam you, you go die'  Case closed.

If you do not know what the bible says about the situations of life...then its not too late, prayerfully study your bible, your manual...its is the Kingdom's Policy. You are a child of the kingdom.  The devil leaves you alone when you say 'It is written...'

Read your bible...you can never go wrong with that.


Nutty Jay