Tuesday, June 24, 2014

SUPERMAN IS THE SUPER HERO- NOT SUPER WOMAN

Today I am sleepy, I have been sleepy since I woke up, I am not working at normal capacity today because my body, mind and spirit has done nothing else except think of sleep of day. I'm practically fighting to stay awake.  On days like this I thank God I am a super woman with super powers.

Now why is my body screaming for sleep? Its because I tend to forget that even superwoman is first and foremost a woman, she's human and she  is made up of flesh and blood. So I joyfully wake up 4am, leave the house 5:30am drive to work in an hours traffic, leave the office 8pm drive back in 2 hours traffic; get home 10pm, chat chat chat and chat on BBM with different people and skype when I can with Australia, then sleep like 11:30pm or 12midnight...to wake again by 4am

Is this wise? NO

Is this profitable? Dunno

Do I do this everyday? Mostly

Do I think I can do it all? YES

Who do I think I am? Superwoman




You know that thing that makes you feel you can do everything and anything and you have the strength to also take on other people's worries for them, add it to yours and help them worry and fix their issues, and still go about doing all your own stuff? I don't know the name for it, but I know that's the thing that makes you a mother of all but a friend of none. The burden bearer, the sabi sabi that people only remember when they have issues and after you have sorted it out for them they go about their merry lives and forget you while you get sucked in to the next problem to fix...thus you are always busy, never have the time to just chill with normal people, people without issues avoid you because guess what? you can't even talk normal and this is due to the fact that you always have a superior or better opinion about everything even in a playful conversation. You try to fix everyone and anyone you meet... We know people like this right? Irritating and very annoying people!!! For heaven's sake your opinion is not always needed....arggggghhhhhh shut up 


NUTTY JAY will you allow yourself become like this? Heck NO 

You sure? I'm sure

There really is nothing wrong in being a damsel in distress once in a while you know?  You are so right

Why didn't I think of that 



Merci Beaucoup




Friday, June 6, 2014

Why You Must Marry Before You Begin to Age Like Milk

...hahahaha...okay those are not my words, some guy I used to know actually put some ish up on his blackberry PM that said '...I'm tired of all these lagos girls that age like milk'. That was the day I began to unlike him

The reason for this post is to highlight the advantages of marrying early. All my female readers, especially those  below the age of 26, kindly take note

1. No heeediot will indirectly tell you that you are aging like milk

2. No family member will abuse you saying 'your shakara too much, you never really ready to settle yet' all because you refused to date a man without a job one aunt is trying to match make  you with

3. Your single status will not be the prayer point in every family function




4. You will not be at the office from 6:30am till 8:30pm because there is no one to go home to

5. You will not be doing character check every time you have a smart retort for some nonsense some man has spewed from his mouth all in the name of 'be polite, you never know if he is the one'

6. You will not be abused for uploading pictures of yourself  by friends and family who point it out to you that your married friends upload pictures of their family members while you are busy posing on your dp alone

7. You will not go home after a hard day's work to a cold and empty house with no one to share the experience of your day with

8. You will not mentally count your remaining eggs after every monthly flow... *coughs*

9. You will not be the one in the family they tell 'my daughter will soon be too big to be your little bride ooo

10. You will not be the one people greet every time they see you with a hand shake and words of  'this year is your year, we will come and eat your rice'

The list is endless, but ladies... let me share one more thing with you. If you start dating a guy hoping it will melt into marriage all well and good, if you are 25 and under.  But for those above this age and are facing serious pressure from friends and family and from movies gan, and you really are ready to enter into the beautiful world of marriage, you don't have time for such 'either or' games where you are testing waters. Simple question to ask after the fifth date is this: ARE YOU THE ONE WE ARE WAITING FOR OR SHOULD WE EXPECT ANOTHER?


You know more advantages of marrying early in Nigeria? Please share with us

Happy Weekend :)


Nutty Jay 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Who killed your Individuality????

individuality
ˌɪndɪvɪdjʊˈalɪti/
noun
  1. 1.
    the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked.
    "clothes with real style and individuality"
  2.      Sym: uniqueness, originalitysingularityparticularitypeculiarity,distinctiveness, distinction, differentness


It is often said that there is that one (or two or three) thing about us that makes us different from every other person... that makes us unique.

That thing that makes you stand out. That quality you possess that make others remember you long after you leave the room

I wonder if anyone over the age of 25 especially in Nigeria still possess their special quality. Or at least still possesses all of theirs. The illusion of social acceptance has robbed us of our Individuality, of even the memory of how we used to be.

Social acceptance is profound...its number three on the hierarchy of needs of every individual. After psychological need and the safety need comes the need for social acceptance; Maslow refers to it as 'a need for love and belonging'

How subtly we go from who we are to who others think we should be, and begin to act how others feel comfortable with us acting around them… and we reason that this is fine so long as they accept us and we belong to them and they show us love. So what  if I have an opinion different from others, it doesn’t matter, what matters is checking first to make sure those we receive love from agree with the proposed opinion.



So what  if I want to have my dessert before the main dish? Nah we reason that it isn’t socially acceptable…so far be it from me to be caught with a piece of cake before I have eaten my vegetables

So what if I prefer pants to dresses, it doesn’t matter, the culture you have noticed in your place of work suggests that you look more serious wearing a dress…oh and it doesn’t matter that the company’s policy doesn’t dictate either ways, you just know you’ll blend in better with dresses, you just might have to learn to wear heels often and practice your leg crossing better


So what if my idea of a good evening is relaxing at a lounge like Mouse Pad in Lekki phase 1 with soft classic music and a calm ambience because that’s the environment you need to unwind after a long day’s work? Well it doesn’t matter what you want because you are considered boring if you don’t prefer one of the other alternatives that have music blaring to ‘Surulere’ ‘Your waist your waist all I want is your waist’.


I remember a friend, I don’t know what we were anyways, we were in probation stage of  dating, sort of.. I think… arghhhh!!! I had gone for his birthday, was the first to arrive and after sometime his intercom rang and he was informed another guest was on her way in… he said okay, then turned to me and ever so smugly he said:

 Chichi is coming in, she’s my friend, please don’t embarrass my friends  

Honestly till today I don’t know what that was supposed to mean. All I was doing at that point was flipping the channels while I was eating chicken pepper soup. Fast forward two hours later like 9:30pm after all his guest had arrived and we had eaten and drank and it was time for me to leave… he walked me to my car and hugged me and said:

 wow you got along so well with my friends and you blended well with them, thank you so much’ or something and in my head I’m like ‘what the hell? I was sitting there all this time being there for you and you were watching hoping and praying I don’t embarrass you with your friends??? Seriously who gives a Sugar Honey Iced Tea’ but I responded with a smile and I left. 

But the thoughts of that day still linger till now, I’m sure if my head isn’t correct I’d have found myself thinking:… how do I act to please and talk and shit and moan and eat to please and not to embarrass this guy and his friends, then his family and then our kids.  OLORUN MA JE OOOOO


You see the more we try to blend, the more we give up one unique thing about us each time. Very soon you would not remember if you like your eggs boiled or fried or raw. You just become so used to being like others that even you will not remember what is unique about you. When you get to that stage, don’t expect others (Boss, wife, husband, pastor, kids, client etc) to think you have anything different to offer them than the average person. You are just like every other person. Someone to be forgotten



Social acceptance is profound, its key and its all the things it is… but it’s not worth giving up your individuality for. The world is a very big place, so if MR(S) A isn’t comfortable with who you are and what you stand for and can’t accept you like that, move to the next person (or office or church or mosque or city or house) and the next and the next till you find who accepts you as you are. 

Don’t give up your individuality just because doing so makes another person more at ease to relate with you on their terms. 


Take pride in whatever it is that makes you different. Individuality is what divides you from the rest.



Happy Democracy Day in advance 

Friday, May 9, 2014

Bokoharam Is Not The Enemy

Let us be truthful and call a spade a spade for once in this country... we have far far bigger enemies than the so called sect names #Bokoharam. 

From what I remember in the latest spam message MTN sent me, Nigeria gained Independence in 1960 and became a republic in 1963, and since then we have not had a moments peace in this country. If it is not one coup after another, it is Biafra and if its not that it is some dark shade wearing dictator, then to corrupt politicians then the fuel subsidy unrest to the APC and PDP's battle of wits everyday in our news papers and bloody battles behind the scenes... and many old power hungry men and more nonsense I don't have the time to recall.

In my opinion, the white man left us alone to our devices way too early, we learnt nothing about Administration, we learnt nothing about Economics, we know nil about Management and least of all we know nothing about social empathy. Oh yes we have all the degrees in the world because our society places emphasis on paper, but having all the degrees in the world doesn't buy us common sense, it doesn't make us human... it doesn't teach us love. It just makes us one big society filled with Educated illiterates .. illiterate that celebrate mediocrity. I'll explain...so hold that thought.

It's not news that Patience Jonathan has no command of the English Language. Infact I doubt if the First Lady has had proper education. However that's no news

It's still no news that she has not tried to improve herself (as a person occupying the position of first lady) from the incoherent English she manages to spew from time to time. .. and that's such a shame on both her and the president. But that's old news

The bigger shame though is that Nigerians, residing in this safe-less, insecure, corrupt mess of a country (where children are killed on a daily basis...where 234 girls can be picked from their school and held hostage for three weeks and counting...) would rather crack jokes about the obvious (madam's English) during her speech at the conference she held, than try to focus on the reason she called the meeting in the first place. 

Back to that thought you are holding, I bet if the First Lady of the United States had given a similar speech albeit in perfect American English we will clap loud in adoration, tweet about it, many will say 'oh what a fine lady'. Because that is what we celebrate. Michelle's speech will be deftly delivered and half of her message lost during the process because guess what??? half of the citizens of Nigeria won't even understand what she said. But we won't mind...na those kine things dey totori us. 



Madam has delivered her speech in a way she understands, yes she could have done better than that, but she didnt... what she did do however is  talk in the language that every Nigerian understands, including the market women, the fish sellers, the palm wine tappers, the farmer, the PhD holder, the graduate of English, the lawyer, the engineer, even the 9 year old child can understand, but what do we do? We laugh about it, we call her names, we make T-shirts that read 'there is god oooo'. And I wonder, how does this jest and merry making at Madame's expense  #bringbackourgirls. If you make a joke about it the first and second day I can understand it because it was funny....but seriously till now? And we say we are intelligent? BAH!!!

Nigerians in Nigeria are we normal at all?  A country where we can't empathize? A people who are so intelligent that they look only towards making mockery of other people's inadequacies whereas their country ranks amongst the top unsafe countries? There is an issue on ground and till now we are still laughing at Patience?

Boko Haram is not the enemy, the black man is the enemy of himself...we are our own poison in this nation. 

What a joke of a people.... really, there is God


Nutty Jay

Monday, April 28, 2014

Honesty will kill your prospects for that job

I like that saying: 'Honesty is my best policy', although recent revelations has taught me not to trust anyone who says that every time, because it just means he/she has a lot of other policies; good, bad, ugly, better and then the best policy. Nah....that's an untrustworthy person

Back to getting the job...or not. In my position as Human Resource officer I have conducted a handful of interviews and you will be amazed at just how silly some people can be in their attempt to keep every thing honest. Don't get me wrong I like everything laid out on the table, but in my opinion you lay your cards all out when you've got all the aces.

So what do I propose you do?

Fake it!!! Until you make it.

For instance I am currently trying to recruit for the position of HR/ADMIN officer, and if it were left to me alone, as a psychologist, I would pick the best fit for the job from among the candidates who have come in thus far. But its not up to me alone, because also seated during these interview sessions is the External HR Consultant and my COO....and my MD at the last stage. Yes ke...it is a very sensitive position.


My concern is this, those with all the ability to do the job well and learn and grow with the organization if selected, are the ones who decide that honesty is the way to go. No!!! your employer wants to know what you know about the role, what you have done in that position and how you will be of value in filling this vacant position in their organization. Yes its not your fault that the operations in your former company (for instance in HR/ADMIN) differ greatly from this new company, but it is not for you to point it out...eg:

''...well I didn't handle that part of human resources, we had a recruiter for that, and also we had a lady in charge of handling personnel benefits and rewards, training/development was at the discretion of management and they initiated it...what I do in my current company is personnel management, making sure the payroll bla bla bla and they come to work on time or initiate disciplinary action bla bla''

That's the point, you don't have to be painfully honest!!! because if thats your response above, you therefore don't know shit  very much about the job!!! Yes your former job may not have allowed you the luxury of beings fully hands-on on majority of all that make up Human Resource Management, but since you know you can do it if given the chance, it is your responsibility to do a 3 hour crash course with whoever can help you, study what it takes to do the job, pray for direction and then go and call the bluff of the interviewer.

''...part of my job description includes recruitment, where by it is my responsibility to match suitable personnel for any vacant position in the organization, personnel training and development are also key areas in my function and this I do side by side with management by identifying areas where staff can be trained to better improve on their job to give them a competitive edge... I also am in charge of payroll administration and I do this together with the financial manager to ensure that tax, pension, loans and any other deductions are properly done. I have an assistant who is in charge of  health insurance for staff as well as the other insurances, I oversee his work etc etc etc'

Now note... these are some of the functions of Human Resource Management, you can subtly leave out Strategy planning and all those other harder stuff, but come on don't tell us you were not hands on the common areas of the job and you expect we would say 'no problem, thanks for your honesty, you got the job' no be so ooo.

Every employer as much as possible want to know that you are coming in to add value, if they have to train you on the common aspects of the job, then they might as well train someone already within the organization. Your prospective employer need to have confidence in your ability to do the job even better than the last person did.

It is your job to know about the job functions of the title you bear (Mechanical Engineer, Chemical Engineer, HR professional, Business Development Manager etc)....so talk your title. Whether or not you were responsible for every aspect of the job in your former place is of no consequence to your new employer... TALK EVERY ASPECT...when you get in, you will learn the practical. Talk your way in first

I don't think that is being dishonest. Do you?


Nutty Jay