Unnecessary Worry

I was chatting online with a friend today and I told him I was worried….

‘worried about what?’ he said
‘this and that’ I replied
‘ah ahn..Jennifer are you broke? You tired of your job? Is it time to take ‘Mr. right' home?

I was taken aback…but my surprise didn’t last more than a minute, because for real, when u get to certain stages In life, leave it for friends and well wishers to help u define what it is one could and should be worried about(*hiss*)


But really does it all matter? The things we worry about do they really matter at the end of the day? Life has taught me that the things we worry about, we either get them or don’t get them…if we know this then why bother with the worries? Isn’t it enough that we wake up every morning? That we have life, that we are sane and not mad in the markets…isn’t it enough that at the end of the day we can sit down and count our blessings….?

I was speaking to a friend last night and she got talking of how she and her husband were having a tough time and that he is getting upset at her failure to conceive and has started talking about marrying a second wife, and she wants to pack out etc. I calmed her down as best as I could and later that night I reflected back to when they got married. I was in my office that day when my phone rang with ‘Private Number’ for caller ID…

“Hello?’’ I said Impatiently
‘’Hey girly wats up’’ the person said…the voice was a bit familiar
‘’who’s this please’’ I asked
‘’Ah han…you too de harsh for phone…u never still stop?’’
‘’OMG….Lily* is that you?’ I finally recognized the voice ‘My girl u no de try, so u no fit call person since all this time?’’
‘’I’ve been busy…besides I didn’t get a call from you too….’’

We swapped gossip and then she gave me her news

‘’I’m getting married oh…in two months and you know how we do na…I want you and the others there we must jollificate’’

I was happy for her…but stunned at the news…and a bit envious too. In school Lily and I were the two girls amongst our friends who vowed not to rush into marriage, and that we will look well well before marriage and we must groove finish first..and her own groove sef was like x2 of my own…now at 23 (she was to be 24 much later that yr) she was getting married. How? Where dem meet?…since when did she learn how to be wife material,(or wifey) these were the thoughts going thru my head. Anyways wedding came and went, big affair etc.

Now…one year and one month later or should I say one yr and one month only, she has four new worries:

1. A child
2. Her husband’s suspected unfaithfulness
3. If really its she that has fertility issue
4. What people wud think if she packs out


And really I can imagine her fears and pain…it got me thinking that the things we worry for sometimes, the things we break our head for sometimes are actually not worth the worry and if we do get them, just might leads to other worries. So in the process why worry?

Before you worry about when your womb will carry a child…worry about the child in the orphanage who has not got any parent to love him, who goes from one foster home to the other all in the struggle to get an education. Before you worry about where Mr. right is, worry about the girl who is 15 dying of AIDS because she was introduced into prostitution at a tender age of 12 by the mother who was supposed to be her protector but who equally knew no better… Before you worry about when you will get a better job, worry about the thousand faceless people out there who are hungry and don’t have a place to sleep when night approaches, because they can’t get a job in Nigeria. Before you worry about what and what food to eat to reduce or add extra weight, think about that child who would not eat until he has sold all the ‘pure water’ or ‘gala’ or ‘yam’ he was given to hawk before getting home that evening. Worry about those that might die because they have no medical insurance. Worry about these people, extend a helping hand, show them love if not by anything, then by a smile, a word of encouragement, a word of advice, monetary gifts…these people are worth worrying over.Worry about these people and someone may just worry about you and extend a helping hand to you too….We get what we give.

Before you worry…think about the loved ones who you make worry because of your worry.



Love,

N.J