The Act of Crying

I’ve been wondering of late about my inability to cry. Over the years I’ve noticed that the only things that make me cry are:

1. Extreme physical pain that comes from ill health
2. Public embarrassment

The two are intertwined in the sense that, extreme physical pain makes me cry not because of the pain itself, but because of the embarrassment that comes when I see friends and family watching me as I writhe in agony from pain on the sick bed. I hate the embarrassment that comes with that. Then public embarrassment also makes me cry.

Now I’ve learnt how to not allow anyone be with me in the hospital room except maybe one family member, until I’m better, and I’ve learnt how to avoid public embarrassment. Meaning for a very long time now nothing makes me cry.

And that is terrible. I hear of someone’s death, I’m pained, I look for tears…nothing. I hear some heart wrenching news…like how my darling’s mum has advised him, after spending only 10mins with me, that she doesn’t like me and he should end it, this causes me pain…I feel like crying out the hurt I feel…I look for tears…but none comes. Like when I’m seeing a movie, and everyone around me cries, it has moved me…I find tears, I cant get tears. I cant cry out of emotional pain, I cant cry out of stress, I cant cry of fear, I cant cry to save my behind from getting wupped.

So I asked google: 'why do some people not cry?.'

Answers:

- Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, severe cases of depression flatten emotions, leaving a person without the trigger that starts the crying circuit

- Aside from a numbing form of depression, the inability to cry may be caused by a rare affliction called Familial Dysautonomia (FD), or Riley-Day Syndrome. While someone with FD experiences emotions like anyone else, they’re born without the reflex necessary to produce tears: crying becomes a dry display

I reject all this prognosis in Jesus name. It’s not my portion.

For those of you who can cry, please enjoy the privileges and the experience of crying. If you don’t know why…check out the advantages:

• Crying also proves to be a stress remover as it suppresses the stress hormones.
• Crying is an important behavior required to get rid of stress hormones.
• Crying also removes toxins from the eyes.
• Crying in front of a person who loves you makes him come out for you and help you.
• Crying gains sympathy.
• Crying helps you get out of some mistakes and problems you might have created and save you from people who are ready to shower their anger on you.

So dont say I never taught you anything. You can now begin to cry.


N'J