Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Act of Crying

I’ve been wondering of late about my inability to cry. Over the years I’ve noticed that the only things that make me cry are:

1. Extreme physical pain that comes from ill health
2. Public embarrassment

The two are intertwined in the sense that, extreme physical pain makes me cry not because of the pain itself, but because of the embarrassment that comes when I see friends and family watching me as I writhe in agony from pain on the sick bed. I hate the embarrassment that comes with that. Then public embarrassment also makes me cry.

Now I’ve learnt how to not allow anyone be with me in the hospital room except maybe one family member, until I’m better, and I’ve learnt how to avoid public embarrassment. Meaning for a very long time now nothing makes me cry.

And that is terrible. I hear of someone’s death, I’m pained, I look for tears…nothing. I hear some heart wrenching news…like how my darling’s mum has advised him, after spending only 10mins with me, that she doesn’t like me and he should end it, this causes me pain…I feel like crying out the hurt I feel…I look for tears…but none comes. Like when I’m seeing a movie, and everyone around me cries, it has moved me…I find tears, I cant get tears. I cant cry out of emotional pain, I cant cry out of stress, I cant cry of fear, I cant cry to save my behind from getting wupped.

So I asked google: 'why do some people not cry?.'


- Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, severe cases of depression flatten emotions, leaving a person without the trigger that starts the crying circuit

- Aside from a numbing form of depression, the inability to cry may be caused by a rare affliction called Familial Dysautonomia (FD), or Riley-Day Syndrome. While someone with FD experiences emotions like anyone else, they’re born without the reflex necessary to produce tears: crying becomes a dry display

I reject all this prognosis in Jesus name. It’s not my portion.

For those of you who can cry, please enjoy the privileges and the experience of crying. If you don’t know why…check out the advantages:

• Crying also proves to be a stress remover as it suppresses the stress hormones.
• Crying is an important behavior required to get rid of stress hormones.
• Crying also removes toxins from the eyes.
• Crying in front of a person who loves you makes him come out for you and help you.
• Crying gains sympathy.
• Crying helps you get out of some mistakes and problems you might have created and save you from people who are ready to shower their anger on you.

So dont say I never taught you anything. You can now begin to cry.



  1. aww she said that? wow....i'm so sorry to hear that love... i have no wise so sorry... hugs

  2. Yes, she said that...not to me, but to him. Thanks girl.

  3. Crying is definitely an important part of our human expression.

  4. Hey sorry she has a bad impression of you :( Hopefully she changes her opinion of you. I have crying days... days when I haven't cried in a long time and I just need to let it out... Its really refreshing lol... u shld try practicing it sometime.

  5. I'm afraid i'm old school; cryin is 4 babies n little girls. I actually cried a lot as a kid, but my dad quickly knocked that outta me.
    If u really wanna shed tears, i can suggest eating onions - guaranteed to wake up yo tear-ducts.

  6. Ee-yah, i'm sorry she doesn't like your style; i dunno, did u find out exactly wat about you she doesn't gbadun?
    Keep yo head up, dear.

  7. I probably have a good cry and I am not ashamed to admit it. I cry alone, in public, in front of my workers, family...ANYBODY etc.

  8. Jaycee: I know I know

    Mamuje: Then I envy you...

    Kay9: I'm still asking 'why?' till now...maybe i'll ask her directly. Onions??? eh...i'll pass

    Mwajim: I hope she changes her mind too...thank you

  9. So sorry..really thought it would end well for you..
    Well,About the tears, trust me, your not missing anything by not being able to cry.
    Be cause all crying does is not solve the problem and also feeling gutted, hollow.
    Sorry about the the mother not liking.Hope she comes to her senses.

  10. "I really want to cry but my tear buds are just too proud" Addison of grey's anatomy said that,and my BFF always uses that to describe me when stuff happens...

    you'll be fine,dear :-))

  11. On crying: I cry very easily these days. I saw a couple speaking sharply to their son, noticed how he was shaking from fear and my eyes moistened.

    Some say crying gives a quicker closure to difficult situations.No, they didnt say nott crying wont give closure, they just mean it will take far longer..At the end, closure shall be met.

    And as for the love of your life and his mum. My first instinct is that its early days, spend more time with her, keep being yourself, be extra tolerant and extra polite and she may find herself loving you, like we all do.

    My second instinct is that if per chance she doesnt take to you, then walk away. You dont want to go down that road of competing with with his mum.

    I was heartbroken on March 12, but someone gave me an advice which I will give you:

    *The whole point in life is to learn and to grow
    * Look at any situation and pick out the lessons learnt so as to conquer such situations in the future
    *Perhaps it is now your time to step back and LOVE, HONOR and cherish yourself...

    you may one day say, "I am glad that it happened -- it has been part of making me the strong, amazing, resilient, courageous, unstoppable woman that I am."

    Love ya

  12. I feel you, there are some times I want to cry but just can't. Anger and embarassment make me cry sha. I equate crying to weakness sometimes.

  13. Sosexy: Thank you...I hope so too

    My World: can this tear bud be prouder than the owner who wishes to cry sometimes? haha...thanks dear...I'll be fine

    Mena: You definetly rock...thanks. will do dat, and keep you posted as it unfolds

    Taynement: yeah I sometimes see it like that, but I also know it kinda frees one.


Say it as you mean it... I can take it