I'm sorry I'm writing to complain, especially since it’s been ages I wrote you a letter. Please don’t see this as me complaining, I'm just confused right now and I no not who would understand why but you.
Yesterday started all sunny and rosy and good. Our instructor in church taught us the importance of prayers stressing the fact that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. Even in the evening when I went back to church with Bobo for the praise session that marked the end of the ongoing youth program, I was still walking on sunshine...by the end of the program my joy knew no bounds...I had peace. You know this Lord.
Then I came home...late...or rather by 9:30 pm and you saw how my uncle greeted me with 'You...this your church when you go, you sure it wasn't something else you went for?'. That almost put a damp on my joyful state, but I remembered that the devil is always around trying to steal people's joy... him and his cohorts are the principalities we wrestle against... not flesh and blood (my uncle)...so I shrugged it off and laughed, even though I wasn't sure if he meant it as a joke. I went to the sitting room..made small talk with Bobo, talked about one of his fine married friend and how I admire him...made more small talk and hugged him good bye...noticed he didn't hug back, but what the heck, we have had a long day.
You see Lord when I texted Bobo before bed asking him why he didn't hug me back, and why he didn't call to say he got home safe, and why he didn't pick my call when I called to check on him, I didn't expect to wake up to his reply which said 'Since you were fantasizing about Gbenga, my feelings went cold'... Father this is the part I don't understand and I told him so in my response. How could he not understand that I was joking? If I had romantic feelings for his friend would I have talked to him about his friend? Why is it easy for me to completely be myself with my friends but I have to think and rethink every word of every joke before I say it to him, then pray he gets it? Was that enough for him to go to bed without even calling to say something even if it was 'I didn't appreciate that joke'? Any ways thank you for reminding me again that its the devil trying to steal my joy...and Father I'm really sorry that I talked about his friend to him...cos it means my words kinda sorta somehow robbed him of his own joy. Teach me to remember that we are from different backgrounds. Please make him call or text me...its been 6 hours since I replied his text na. (5am this morning). I have apologized, and I don't want to be the one to break the silence.
But Lord what is this new issue with my father now? Ever since I told him I would like to come to warri and show him whom I'm dating and planning to marry...its been one thing or the other. You saw when my aunt called me now saying my dad was asking her: why does she want to marry all of a sudden, and what plans is he making to get chartered in his accounting practice, and why is she going all the way from the south to the west to get a husband, and she is supposed to travel down first and talk to me about the guy first before bringing him to the house, and just a lot of long long list of what this, and what that and is my aunt sure the boy can take care of me, is he ambitious enough bla bla bla and that he isn't comfortable with the whole idea... see God I'm just confused...YOU know I have been telling Bobo to wait concerning this his quest to meet my father, cos I know he wont be ready for these questions with good answers...you know how difficult my dad is, now what will I tell Bobo that is seriously preparing to travel with me in two weeks time to meet my dad? I don't know what to even pray about concerning this... should I pray against principalities and powers? Or should I ask the holy spirit to witness to my dad and convince him, or should I listen and heed carefully everything that popsi mi is saying?
I just tire...and right now, I don't feel much joy again, along the line from 4:45am till now, I think I lost it somewhere. Thou knoweth everything Lord... talk to me. I need direction and in the meantime, I want my joy back, while we ponder over the other issues.
Thank you Sir.