Monday, March 21, 2011
Somethings have been happening…
I’m in a relationship again. As in not just dating like I’ve been doing, NUTTY J is in a steady relationship. I don’t know how to process it, this is one I never planned for, infact this is a guy I’ve been resisting since 2009 but somehow somehow I find my self smiling and saying:
‘’Nice to meet you’’ whenever he says
‘’meet my girlfriend’’
Bobo* is a sweet guy…he is good, he treats me like golden egg, he is generous, he shows me love like I havent gotten in a while. He has charmed my mum and aunt and uncle…my brothers like him. Even my 3 and 5 year old cousins jump on him for an embrace when he comes visiting.
So why I’m I not announcing it from the roof top? I don’t frigging know. Maybe I’m waiting to feel butterflies in my stomach first…maybe I’m doubting if anyone could love anyone so much…weird right? but seriously I feel he has evil intentions for me…like he is saying in his mind:
‘’eh en, shey you have been playing hard to get…I go soon catch you finish now you will see’
…again maybe I’m just scared of falling in love joor. I cant get my heart to work that way.
So sometimes I push him to the wall…waiting for him to say something, get upset…get jealous, get super annoyed. But no he doesn’t ... I mean even I get annoyed with some of the things I do & say, so how come he doesn’t?
Anyways that is something I’m still pondering on.
I miss sex…I miss sex a lot. Abstinence is not easy.
I’m considering buying a rabbit/bunny… I still havent been able to convince myself that its not a sin. If I can convince myself…then I’ll buy one. I heard its guaranteed to give me the orgasm guys havent been able to give me till I stopped sex
My legs/hips have been troubling me much of late. I have been forbidden to take the pain relievers that actually supresses the pain because my continuous use of it has given me ulcer…and ulcer is a terrible terrible thing. So I go about limping these days…Deji* always hold me up when we walk together. Sweet guy. I hope I get my healing from God soon or do the operation soon.
I fear if I do the operation I may no longer be able to do pilates… that troubles me more than undergoing the operation itself
My HOD in the office has been demoted, so automatically all those under her including me have been brought down a notch or two. I cant help laughing at the whole thing. It beats crying sha
I’m beginning to drink a lot these days…sometimes I convince myself its for my stomach sake…other times I just dont care.
I have missed you guys. Sorry for the long absense.
Thanks to the man who gave me the award for lovely blog. Seven things about me like the condition for the award states you can find here
Love you all