Friday, October 18, 2013

Over Parenting

Hello everyone... I have decided to remain anonymous on this blog. Thank you for your input on the last blog post.

It just occurred to me that the root cause of some of the problems Nigeria is facing can be attributed to OVER PARENTING.

This just occurred to me today after I had had an intense conversation with some people earlier in the day, then I got some calls over the same issue and I just wanted to scream!!! leave me the eff alone!!! what the f*ck is wrong with every body! every one has an opinion to give but for Christ sake just save yours sometimes!!!  You make one decision and you have to subconsciously weigh it over:

' will I present this now na, hope his mum wont think....'
'how will my mumsi take it'
'How will uncle X see it...will he think I am fooling myself'
'How will my people interpret this'

...because if you don't weigh it like this before you act (right or wrong) you most likely will get a reaction from your parents and/or guardians or those who are 'wiser' that will make you feel you are doing a stupid thing. A very stupid thing.  Then you begin to second guess things, then take actions that will get you their approval, and another time you just don't bother to think for yourself. After all what are the chances that you will make the right decision. 

So its always easier to just run away from stuff, or hide things or just wait to get approval from the 'wise' ones before you act. Therefore why are we complaining that those who were in power in Nigeria 30 years ago are still contesting for governorship or for presidency? Is it not because the next generation don't know how to go about making decisions without some old clout breathing down their neck with one opinion after the other and then another? So why not just leave it for them to continue running things since apparently they are ''all knowing'.
Overparenting= Bad Parenting

In a Johns Hopkins study, hyper parenting was more closely related to increased anxiety in children than the mental health of the parent or parental rejection.
A mom who tries to control too much robs her child of valuable learning opportunities, including learning how to make decisions. Without these opportunities, children feel less confident and more anxious. Elevated anxiety has also been linked to depression and behavioral issues. (
My point is this: Its just so bloody annoying that every single thing one does, even at this old age, still has to be turned into a mountain...a topic to be discussed and questioned about and to be deliberated on. NOT DOING ANYTHING seems easier as the day goes by. 
Allow your kids make their own mistakes, at least the ones that are not life altering or life threatening.... that's the only way they would learn. 
Nutty Jay

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