I have a job and I'm thankful for it....but the nagging feeling of 'and then???' had been tugging at my heart/mind for months now. You wake up...join the traffic....get to work...actually work...stop in between to FB/Tweet/Blog...back to work...lunch...5:30pm...traffic and back home by 9pm...eat...sleep. Every day...and on fridays we go:
''Yaaay!! Thank God its friday''
Saturday we are probably too tired from the week to go anywhere, or maybe I'm just tired of going to the same places and repeating the same rituals...and on sunday we probably visit a friend or entertain guests... or switch off mobile and watch Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor scream 'You dont serve a dead God, you serve a living God...He is the same yesterday, He is the same today, what he did yesterday, he can do today, he can do tomorrow.....lift your hands and shout halleluya" or TD Jakes on inspiration FM
Every Week....every month...every year...2008...2009..2010...2011...and counting. Its cool you know, prancing around doing stuffs your peer group wish they were doing (ie working and earning a living) but the feeling of 'and then?' and then what? has not been answered in my own life oooo. And its making me cranky...
What else? And then what? I dont know if you understand what I'm saying... is life supposed to be a circle where we repeat the same mundane things day in and day out? I dont think so...I want to believe some of you are doing something that makes you feel accomplished and fulfilled that yes, you have added value (not only monetary value)...or have impacted some thing great at least in one persons life everyday.
So if you can help me out by giving me suggestions on how I can reach out and do something meaninful for myself and others that makes me look forward to waking up by 4am in the morning and setting out on my way....let me know. I've applied to some NGOs and I dont know if they are making yanga for me or if they just dont like the fact that I'm young. I mean i'm tired of talking about the boyfriends, the girlfriends, the sad things, the happy things, the gossip, the petty things, or reporting about the drama in Nigeria, or tweeting about your neighbour....its becoming empty. I feel like a waste (weist)Ideas are welcome... I dont wanna die with the sad fact that I didnt do anything that any one can point to and say becos of Nutty J, so so and so happened in Nigeria, so so and so good thing came to Delta State...or 'dont you know her, go to google and look her up' (*grins*). Neither do I want to use marriage and children to fill that Vacuum. At first I thought I could fill the gap with having female friends but hmmm...no, that didnt werk. The feeling is still there.
A friend I shared this fear/longing with said 'relax...you a going through a phase, hopefully it would pass soon' but I dont think so. I know what I'm saying.
#help me with ideas and I will glady use my saturdays, sundays, nights, sick off, vacation and early hours to make Nigeria a better place (step by step)...
y'all dont make me slash my wrist oooo, I need ideas #NotJoking
Nutty dear,you need one word 'Rotary International'.I'm sure you've heard about it.but if you've not i'm willing to give you info on it.It's a humanitarian organization.It adds meaning to your life,trust me.I held various positions in school and was very fulfilled,will join the one for adults in a short while.What's more? It's adventurous and would provide you with the opportunity to travel with direction,i mean meaningful trips.
ReplyDeleteI actually feel your post...as in, i can totally relate. Unfortunately, i can't offer any suggestion as i've been going through the same bout myself.
ReplyDeletei'll come back to 'steal' suggestions :D
Same here... I feel the same. I wish there was something that I could do aswell to pass time and leave this world with nothing else than something that says I ws here. I'm afraid I have no suggestions as we are both in the same shoes.:(
ReplyDeleteDon't relax oh, it's not a phase, it's a legitimate concern that i have too. I think the answer is to do what you love. This feeling you have is exactly what led me to The Corner Shop, and it's what's leading me to find ways to expand it. I want to do what i love, even if right now it's part-time
ReplyDeleteSo, my advice is, take your time and think of what you love. If you don't really know, find out what you loved when you were a little girl. That should point you in the right direction.
Good luck babe! Good luck to all of us lol.
Adiya
O m goodness! I totally relate.. It's one of the reasons I started blogging. I really don't wanna wake up one morning at 45 and realize my life passed by...
ReplyDeleteYou can volunteer; I did that last year it felt good. A vacation is good; always clears the mind. and really, finding a job that you won't feel depressed going to... But then, only you can find that...
Am coming back here to steal some ideas too; if u find a way pls share :)
All the best :)
wow i feel this way sometimes!! its like i'm just going through the motions of existing without really doing anything. I think the 1st step to take is to do something u'll never have done. Try your hands at modelling or acting, jst try to do sumthing so different from your comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteVisit a motherless home..lol sowi i dnt have any concrete idea. hope u find sumthing or someone that makes u feel less empty :) xx
Lately I have been feeling like a weist ... its complicated . Please let me know when you find something to fill the void.
ReplyDelete@ all: Thanks for all the advise ooo. I didnt know we were plenty that had this feeling. I am still thinking about it and will certainly put some of these ideas into use...
ReplyDeleteOne of my friend said I need a shrink...do we have those in Nigeria? lol
quarter life crises.
ReplyDeleteBeen there..
It seems to me everyone is moving on with their lives and am kinda standing still……
No new thing, no excitement, nothing to look forward to like that, just routine (work, sleep)
Am bored, dissatisfied, anxious, on edge, and uneasy.
Thats how i felt.
Its a phase. it would pass
Quarter-Life crises...hmmm. That's something...I'll see if it passes
ReplyDeleteThe topic in church yesterday evening (tuesday) was 'What is your purpose in life'
Coincidence?
How about learning a vocation you have always been interested in? Like say, sewing... or hats making or something.
ReplyDeleteTwo things, volunteer, volunteer. Join an NGO that works hands on with the less privileged. Join a church that does the same.
ReplyDeleteOK another idea, learn something new, dancing, singing, painting, drawing, whatever.
All the best.
Honey Dame: I thought about that... will put it into consideration...and do something
ReplyDeleteMyne: I always wanted to learn dancing...Thanks I'll see what I can do about that.
Being concerned abotu contributing to society is not a phase... It's a genuine concern. Check out this group WeBuilt: Africa... It's this new NGO started by a student who wants to use her degree (Architecture, I think) to help street traders and hawkers by designign portablt stalls for them. The idea is fresh and just really inspring- a practical way of helping a fellow Nigerian. There you go... http://www.webuilt.org/webuilt-nigeria/
ReplyDeleteNo be so oh.. No be like so @ all...
ReplyDeleteWhere are you?
No new post?
Hope you're better now my love?
Remain blessed..
u just had to go n disappear when i was makin a come-back shey?
ReplyDeleteI know you will call me mad, but since you want something 'value adding' ever tried adoption?
ReplyDelete*runs away*
I think everyone feels like that every now and then. What the hell is all of this about? But I think if you've ever touched one person, helped someone, or lifted someone's spirits you've done something.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I don't have any ideas, but think about something that's totally outrageous and crazy and that people would say Are you NUts and go do that!
It'll be fun and people will talk about the fab Nutty J!
*wailing*
ReplyDeletePlease visit us na!!
Mena
http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2011/06/scandal-in-blogsville-treating-latest.html