Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Not Thankful Joor

'I’m sorry I cannot grant you the Visa because I am not convinced as to why the Operation cannot be carried out in the parent country. From what I can see this ailment hasn’t interrupted/altered your life in any way and I think you should exhaust all options available in Nigeria first. I cannot guaranty that you will not be a nuisance in the United States

That was April the 7th 2011, I left the embassy a bit deflated…I got to my hotel where my mum was waiting and narrated the whole thing to her…

it is well’ she replied ‘let’s thank God first then we will talk about what to do next

The look on my face could freeze an Eskimo…I didn’t feel like thanking God, I felt God should have warned me not to proceed with the whole thing…as I got on my knees with her and said the required Amen when due, I couldn’t stop my mind as it roamed to various places

- $4,000 surgeons fee (excluding the hospital fee of $19,374 we were yet to pay)

- Visa Application fee

-Doctors reports i had to obtain by subjecting myself to various tests

- Humble pie I had to eat to get 3days off for the interview at the embassy in ABJ

- Flight fare to and fro

- Hotel fee of NGN50,000 for two nights

I didn’t feel like thanking God right now…He could have showed me a sign that would make me save my money…

My dad called and was like:

‘…Hope you are not feeling bad ooo’ he said ‘don’t mind these embassy people just be calm

Daddy you know I’m always calm na…it’s not bothering me’ I lied

‘Okay…good good good…lemme speak to your mum

I handed the phone over…he said something and she replied with:

No no no…she is fine you know she has very strong spirits

And that’s the problem…why do they always feel my spirit is very strong. I come out strong don’t mean I don’t cry myself to sleep most nights…even if it’s tearless cries. I say I’m fine but then maybe I’m just a damn good liar…

I check my BB and see a face book msg alerting me that a friend was kicked out of a particular group we all belonged to. Normally it’s a time to send PMs and gossip and find trouble and question the Admins of the group…but I wasn’t up to it that day…I couldn’t find the grace. But then its FB we stand up for each other whether u are having a bad day or not…and that was what I did…put up a smile and enter into internet fight mode.

The next day before I checked out of the hotel my prayer was simple:

Dear Lord, I know I have to say thank you for everything, but I cannot find the grace to say thank you because I don’t feel thankful, and I know that is going against your word but I feel like devourers have eaten my money which shouldn’t happen because I pay my tithe…please give me the grace to get over this feeling'

That was Friday the 8th of April 2011

Today is Tuesday the 12th of April and I’m good again…

The young man who wrote the book of Psalm 23: 2: ‘He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.’

Was the same man who wrote Psalm 22: 1 ‘’ My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent’’

Moral Lesson: Being a child of God doesn’t mean the storm would not come…He didnt promise us that there would be no storms of life...or that we wouldn’t have 'feel bad' times. What he said is 'lo I am with you always'....so this makes me know, that no matter what may come my way, I will overcome, I will not sink...and somehow my lost money will come back to me ooooo....lol.

Hope everyone reading this is fine and keeping well?

Don’t forget to say Thank you Lord....even if you are not fine

I’ll keep you all posted.



  1. Dont worry about it, I know how annoying embassy issues can be....just keep thanking God and trusting in Him.


  2. Awww babe! Just know it's God's will. It hurts, but i'm glad you're getting back on your feet. And believe me, i know


  3. nice post. i can relate quite alot with the feeling. love the use of words too..."tearless cries". good to know you're better already. e-hug

  4. Wow!!!! this post is soo touching,
    i've bn in similar situations, and then i go "thank you Lord, cos i know you have a reason for everything"
    i'm glad you feel better now....

  5. @All: thank you very much... Jehovah sees and Jehovah hears

  6. All things really do happen for a reason... I could not sleep last night because I couldnt get the face of the evil interviewer on Tuesday out of my head! The very same US embassy! but this time in Lagos. I had ALL my documents in place, my uncle even swore an affidavit of support but the evil man did not look at a single one of my papers not even my passport. When I came back, my hubby said I shd give thanks, my uncle though mad, said the same thing. I simply told them I couldnt, i didnt feel like and didnt know how to. I had spent money, time and energy and God could have stopped it. But today I am grateful to be alive and know that in all things, God remains God. As for the U.S, i will still enter there... but maybe not just yet.

    Its well dear, I TOTALLY understand how you feel cos am not yet over Tuesday April 12, 2011!

  7. Nonye: Exactly ooo...the lady didnt even check all my papers sef... after all the time I wasted putting it together.

    It wasnt funny that day...

  8. Sweetie, although my case is different from yours, I definitely know a lot (too much sef) about disappointment - especially when you have looked forward to it so much and banked on it. And then at the 11th hour, it all comes tumbling down. And yes, I was left wondering about the veracity of Malachi 3. His grace is sufficient --- although it must not feel like it right now.

  9. If at first you dont succeed, try again.

    Babe am so sorry to read about all the efforts, its not easy.

    But now its time to trust in God and look for other options

    It is well my dear


  10. :) Yeah its me.

    Won't say don't feel, cos i knw being disappointed like that hurts like hell. Just dnt let it keep u dwn for long, k?
    Umm, are 'happy new year's still in order? :D

  11. Vera: Thank you very much for the support...

    Mena: Yes ooo, I'm thinking of trying India

    Kay9: Happy New Year to you...you berra update soon and tell us where the heck you have been....abi have you fallen in love???

  12. Sorry about the money you spent,stuffs like this happen and yes,you have every right to have felt the way you did.The prayer you prayed the next morning was really deep and touching,it portrayed how unhappy about the situation you felt.It's a good thing you're fine now dear,those embassy people dey craze,even though no be their fault.If like say our country don sit up,them for no dey carry us shine.

  13. Wow, the bibilical reference is deeeep!! men! I will def. remember this

  14. Aww.. I would have felt the same way...
    Well like they say God has a purpose for everything n His time is the best...
    Seems like something good is about to come your way!
    Have faith!


Say it as you mean it... I can take it