Friday, February 4, 2011

Application for the position of 'Friend'

I thought someone stole my writing Mojo until a deeper search revealed that the reasons my words are stuck is because at a subconscious level I keep thinking there is more to life than my inconsequential tirade now and then. I mean people are more concerned this season about Jega and the ongoing voters registration as well as Egypt’s revolution and the possibility of Nigeria doing same soon, and these are the things matured minds want to read about…right?

I’m equally bothered about the above issues, eh en...but every man with watin dey pain am…and one of the things disturbing me is the fact that I can’t seem to make female friends. I never gave this a thought before because I was quite comfortable being a guys girl…but one cool Saturday I scrolled through my phone, for what I can’t remember, and noticed that the only female friends (not hi, hello type of friends) are friends I’ve had since secondary school, just three of them…(who by the way are based in warri, thus far from me) and only one female friend I made when I relocated to Lagos in 2008. So 2008-2009-2010-2011…almost 4 yrs and I made only one female friend? Its eerie somehow, don’t you think?

It never bothered me till now…I mean I’m always hanging out…and the fact that I hang out with guys alone never registered in my head till that Saturday. So I’m forced to ask…what the heck is wrong with me? Have I been cold towards my fellow ladies, or have they been the one brushing me off…if so why? Watin I do them?

Long story short…last month I made up my mind to put in extra efforts to get female friends…my target was to get a friend every two months, thus by December I’ll have made six (6) friends. That journey started last month and so far all I’ve gotten were polite brush offs…azz in I just don’t gerrit…women are very difficult people I swear.Its hard to please them. I say hi…I compliment the two I have eyes on now…I even send an sms here and there, but do I get a favourable response? No… I’m I making progress? No…Are they taking this as seriously as I am? No…this is February and I haven’t made half a female friend not to talk of one…

have you paused to think for a moment that these chicks you want to make your friend, just doesn’t want to be friends with you? or can your ego not process that?’ asked iboze, one of my online sarcastic witch of a male friend.

Its crossed my mind…but so does it cross the minds of guys who woo girls that just don’t give them the time of the day, do they give up? No…most of the time don’t they still get the girls? YES…eh shall I get them.

But in case you have tips on how to make the process faster…please I’m your home girl ooo, give me tips ooo. Truth be told I’ll rather be content with my online female friends… but sometimes…I need to hang out offline with chicks too…and have ladies night out or in, and go shopping...these I can’t do with my virtual friends and I can’t continue to hang out with guys only. I long for girly things sometimes too.

Help me tell these chicks to stop fronting for me o before I slap sense into their head

And I’ll appreciate any help I can get on how to go about achieving this goal. Thank you in advance....mwuah mwuah mwuah


  1. This is consultant a-9ja-great reporting for duty ma'am! hehehehe

    U ain't got a problem,trust me.Lots of babes like ur lovely self are content with guy friends.The reason is cos we're less drama and we don't get jealous of u,envy u or talk behind ur back.

    However,if making friends is that hard in the real world,u could get the contact of ur online friends who are in Lasgidi.They already know u so u won't have to 'toast' them.Although u may not click with some of them in reality,that doesn't mean u still won't have a few of them who u'd jell with.

    Another thing u could do is take ur female colleagues out and encourage them to come with their friends (e go dey a lil expensive sha o,but no be u need friends?),but they should be the ones that u can tolerate that way u'd be able to tolerate their friends.I don talk finish,i go send my invoice for services rendered.Goodluck!

  2. Similar dilemma - virtual friends, mostly BB pals and hi - hi acquaintances.
    When you discover the access code please divulge.

  3. Hahaha!You no get problem jare!

  4. Babe I can imagine but luckily I make friends easily.... Join a a movie or book club. Suggest to meet some of your blogsville family in real life 'abi dem be spirit?' or have you tried meeting with babes of the guys you hang out with?
    When i lived abroad i joined a socializing website and i met one of my best friends there today.i if that fails hook me up at for coded tips. Good luck and cheers.

  5. A-9ja-great: Send the invoice abeg...I'll pay whenI start getting results from your advise

    dairyofanotblackwoman: ha...good to know I'm not alone...I'll let you know the secrets when I find them

    T.Notes: No talk so oooo....this is a serious matter

    Mamuje: you are forgetting that nigeria aint got all those clubs...and if there exist its going to xpensive to join...i guess i'll just holla at you for those tips

  6. lool..join the club :p
    all my female friends are either the two ones i got from sec school or the hello/hi ones that are jus used to fill up space in my contact list,lol
    i think chicks are jst harder to make fwends with.. there's jst sumthin about us. smh
    plus maybe u'r hot and the girls u've been tryin to make fwends with are intimidated,lol..u knw girls have the "pull-her-down" syndrome a.k.a jealousy! dnt let that bother u :)
    its not the number of fwends u have that matters.. its the quality :)

  7. Lol, in the same boat, let me know what tips u get.

  8. Thanks for visiting my blog and for the best wishes ;-) Keep the blogging up ;-)

  9. KitKat: I agree with you....theres just something about us...and you are right about it being quality not quantity

    Neefemi: tooo? Forgive me for being glad I aint alone :-P

    Chantel: Thanks for stopping by...

  10. @ Nutty Jay: Fact is that after university its harder to make meaningful friends. Some get married, some like you just move to another location. You might have to make friends with work colleagues, start by just hanging out with them every break time and pick up on their gist. Thats what I did (even if the gist was mostly about aso ebi and why there are no husband material etc)
    I also relocated from one place to another and had only male friend for a start. But soon enough the female friends followed. When I was at school, I would reserve seats for them close to me, join them for breaks moaning about the lectures or even ask to do assignments together.

    Try it and see how far that goes. :)

  11. Thanks babes...I'll try it. You know you are a very friendly person so such things no go too hard you.

    So i'll try your suggestion and see how it goes....

  12. Awww I know how it feels. I guess every girl has rocked that boat once or twice. You don't have to worry about it so much.. Mena's suggestion works. Well, it worked for me..

    Salon's, Wedding's, and social gatherings are great places to make good friends. Compliments works as well but when you compliment, you've got to keep the conversation going... More like asking questions and seem interested.. Remember to take their contacts and try to hang out more with them.. That way, you'll get to meet their friends as well.

    I hope this helps..

  13. Her Lioness: Thanks babes...I'm gonna start practicing that. I hope it works...thanks for dropping by

  14. Nice one Her Lioness. Yes, i suppose compliments will also work, but only with the conversation flow. But Nutty J., it's true oh, i think i know a lot more guys than girls. I have only like 4 real girlfriends. When i see girls getting married with like 10 bridesmaids i wonder how on earth they have so many friends close enough to be bridesmaids lol

    Good luck on your girl search :p


  15. Send me an email when you discover the secret! My New Year's Res was to make at least 3 new female friends.....and so far.....failing miserably, LOL. Just don't know how! Nice blog by the way :)

  16. ur not alone J, most of my friends are from secondary school and far away in Nigeria. Girls like to form and are easily intimidated when they meet someone like them or better. I thought the problem was only in Europe where most people are busy n self absorbed.
    At least you're trying, holla me once you've found a way out eh, i am interested

  17. @ A-9ja-great
    Guys are cool n lovely,
    but the friendship certainly has a time limit, it ends when they find out that ur bent on a strictly friends relationship or when worse they move on n have they're own garlfrend

  18. Mehn, girls too hard.welcome to the club my sister.I have that same problem too.Although, i feel more comfortable hanging out with guys.When you get the access codes,lemme noe.

    xoxo sugarkanke,


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