Friday, November 19, 2010
Get the Commitment You Seek.
Have you ever been in love? The type where you get heart stopping, butterfly in the belly, temperature rising reactions whenever the object of your affection says your name. All he has to do is say ''Nutty.....'' and you feel the goose bumps springing even in parts you are not aware of.
When you feel love like this...what do you do? Come on you know the trend it follows...you start obssessing...you want to know how he is doing all the time...you want to know why he hasnt called you...you make plans for the week according to his schedule...you become overly caring...the chemisty sets you on fire and blinds you to his faults....if he doesnt reply your sms you start wondering what you said wrong. But you know na... no be so e dey do you sometimes... ( Vanity talk true now ooo)
Now if what i'm saying is the truth about these feelings you feel when you feel a feeling you rarely feel, then why are some of us (my humble self included) here still single, after 3 months of breaking off from a bad relationship? If we are capable of such strong feelings why arent they working to keep us in long lasting fulfilling relationship?....its simple. Its the secret our ancestors pass only to wise children.
MEN ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN WOMEN THEY CANNOT HAVE.
phew!!! there I said it. It sounds crazy abi? I'm not gonna try and convince you, all I ask is that you look back to that relationship where you were exclusive and caring and nuturing and mothering and sex bomb-ing (osama sex-laden). How did that work out?
Now this is what I suggest... its something you all know and if you dont know it, then I bring to you the world's ever green cure to preserving relationships. Repeat after me...'C' is for CIRCULAR DATING
Say it again...'C' is for CIRCULAR DATING
Circular Dating: This can be defined as the art of dating up to three or more men at a time.
Actually before you can determine if you should or should not indulge in this art...you must first understand the secret behind it.
When you circular date....you keep your options open. You date not only one man at a time but 3 or 4...this ensures you are busy at all times of the day. You dont seat at home pining over one guy who is blowing you off, your self esteem and level of difficulty rises automatically without you putting any effort to it, you make out time for one man based on how empty ur calender is (becos your calender is always full). Now all the love you have stored for one man, you share among three men. This way you dont appear clingy, desperate, or insecure. Rather you appear unattainable to the guys which is what makes you appear attractive to him. Now he would fight to keep you to himself... he would be chasing you every where to prove to you that he is 'enough' for you. That is how the genetic make up of a man is...he was built to chase. So make him chase...be unattainable and give him a challenge.
You may want to ask...till when? Well for as long as it takes to get you a commitment (whatever that is to you)...please note you are not doing this to make the man sit up...on the contrary you are doing it for yourself. For your sanity. Desperation is unattractive and women are emotional creatures meaning we cant help getting overly attached to a man we love (when we love). But he doesnt see it this way...he sees your calling all the time to check on his well being as being desperate, or insecure..or clingy and this automatically makes him run scared. Bottom line if you're dating a man who hasnt made a commitment to you, then you should keep dating other men. This gives you choices and you won't invest all your time and energy into a man who hasnt made up his mind about where you guys are headed.
Please note I said 'date'...I'm hoping its not everyone you date that you sleep with...go out on dates, flirt shamefully and harmlessly...keep them interested in wanting more...till you find the ONE who will commit to you for life.
If you disagree let me know. If you have any questions...let me know too. When you try it and it works...let me know
Go out there and have fun...have a lovely weekend. Remember that self-first isn't selfishness.
PS: Men in the house....you know its true. You know I love you
PPS: The term 'Circular Dating' I culled from a certain love writer...Miss Rori. She wasnt the first to use the term though.