Friday, November 19, 2010

Get the Commitment You Seek.

Have you ever been in love? The type where you get heart stopping, butterfly in the belly, temperature rising reactions whenever the object of your affection says your name. All he has to do is say ''Nutty.....'' and you feel the goose bumps springing even in parts you are not aware of.

When you feel love like this...what do you do? Come on you know the trend it start want to know how he is doing all the want to know why he hasnt called make plans for the week according to his become overly caring...the chemisty sets you on fire and blinds you to his faults....if he doesnt reply your sms you start wondering what you said wrong. But you know na... no be so e dey do you sometimes... ( Vanity talk true now ooo)

Now if what i'm saying is the truth about these feelings you feel when you feel a feeling you rarely feel, then why are some of us (my humble self included) here still single, after 3 months of breaking off from a bad relationship? If we are capable of such strong feelings why arent they working to keep us in long lasting fulfilling relationship?....its simple. Its the secret our ancestors pass only to wise children.


phew!!! there I said it. It sounds crazy abi? I'm not gonna try and convince you, all I ask is that you look back to that relationship where you were exclusive and caring and nuturing and mothering and sex bomb-ing (osama sex-laden). How did that work out?

Now this is what I suggest... its something you all know and if you dont know it, then I bring to you the world's ever green cure to preserving relationships. Repeat after me...'C' is for CIRCULAR DATING

Say it again...'C' is for CIRCULAR DATING

Circular Dating: This can be defined as the art of dating up to three or more men at a time.

Actually before you can determine if you should or should not indulge in this must first understand the secret behind it.

When you circular keep your options open. You date not only one man at a time but 3 or 4...this ensures you are busy at all times of the day. You dont seat at home pining over one guy who is blowing you off, your self esteem and level of difficulty rises automatically without you putting any effort to it, you make out time for one man based on how empty ur calender is (becos your calender is always full). Now all the love you have stored for one man, you share among three men. This way you dont appear clingy, desperate, or insecure. Rather you appear unattainable to the guys which is what makes you appear attractive to him. Now he would fight to keep you to himself... he would be chasing you every where to prove to you that he is 'enough' for you. That is how the genetic make up of a man is...he was built to chase. So make him unattainable and give him a challenge.

You may want to ask...till when? Well for as long as it takes to get you a commitment (whatever that is to you)...please note you are not doing this to make the man sit up...on the contrary you are doing it for yourself. For your sanity. Desperation is unattractive and women are emotional creatures meaning we cant help getting overly attached to a man we love (when we love). But he doesnt see it this way...he sees your calling all the time to check on his well being as being desperate, or insecure..or clingy and this automatically makes him run scared. Bottom line if you're dating a man who hasnt made a commitment to you, then you should keep dating other men. This gives you choices and you won't invest all your time and energy into a man who hasnt made up his mind about where you guys are headed.

Please note I said 'date'...I'm hoping its not everyone you date that you sleep with...go out on dates, flirt shamefully and harmlessly...keep them interested in wanting more...till you find the ONE who will commit to you for life.

If you disagree let me know. If you have any questions...let me know too. When you try it and it works...let me know

Go out there and have fun...have a lovely weekend. Remember that self-first isn't selfishness.

PS: Men in the know its true. You know I love you

PPS: The term 'Circular Dating' I culled from a certain love writer...Miss Rori. She wasnt the first to use the term though.


  1. LMFAO Of course call me out eh. I'm trying to form hard bitch here. But I know what you mean that's why I have so many bf's from serial dating and circular dating

  2. in theory i agree, i cant practice sha, i just cant and i dont know if thats good or bad

  3. "So make him unattainable and give him a challenge."

    Only problem is, a thin line exist. When a man has chased (and unconsciously) crossed the thin line; though he might keep chasing, the passion (once there) is LOST.

  4. i look at it this way, when a woman is in luv, she should have a life, if she has a job that keeps her busy, have some friends that she still hangs out with, have a life basically she can still have a healthy relationship without necessarily dating three to four men.

    i personally do not believe in playing games. if i am in a relationship, i give it my best whilst still having a life, if it works out fine, if it doesn't i move on..

    Not every relationship is destined for the altar and heart break is a =art of the whole relationship day, we'l all get it right and meet the one and only somebody

  5. @ All thanks forthe feedback

    Rethots: Its not playing hard to get...on the contrary you date everyone you feel comfortable with...but that passion and love and everything stored up for just one man, is shared amongst three. So you dont sit pining for any one man...I got this sentence from somewhere: ''... You leave him alone to take care of himself.
    And when he figures his OWN self out, then he'll look over at you having this AMAZING, FUN
    life, and do everything in his power to get you for himself
    You let HIM find YOU. And by then, you may have met another - way BETTER - man.''

    Doll: I know...I understand what you mean...but its not a 'relationship' I speak off...its 'dating' more than one till you get the 'ONE"

  6. Hehehe Nutty Jay!!!

    Lailai! Having plenty toasters, I can do. But dating them, no thanks...

    I get your point sha but I would not want it done to me so I wouldn't do it.

    I'd rather chill till I come across a correct guy worth dating singularly.


  7. i disagree... to some extent.

    I date "circularly" too (a frnd of mine calls it "keeping spare tires, lol..); and i agree, desperation IS unattractive.

    HOWEVER, i am NEVER interested in babes i can't have - damn, why wld i waste my time like that?? Play "off-ish" too long and i simply look away; yeah, i stay friendly and all, but that's it - life's too short, babe :D

    (But Nutty u funny o, which one is "osama sex-laden"? lol...)

  8. osama sex laden bawo?!?! nutty J is nutty!

  9. C is for Circular dating *wide smile*

  10. You never said better dear!
    Except that we can't help it when we care .
    The circular dating doesn't work dear, cause then, you'd have none.. and if you think the guys won't know then sorry but you're in for a wonderful JOKE!

  11. Haha, I loved this blog. I half-heartedly agree. I DEFINITELY agree that men want what they can't have (most often). I somewhat agree with your "circular dating" method. However, I own 3 companies...I don't have time to date 3 men...and I'm not sure I'd want to. I'd rather fill my free time with family and close friends and I date when I get around to it, when it's convenient for me, and when I feel like making the effort.

    BTW, the guy I was blabbering about called and asked me out. They always do. I just take my crazy out on my blog - instead of a guy - and NEVER share my blog with someone I'm dating ;)It works everytime!

  12. @ all: thanks for the comments

    Danielle: Good for you girl...i'm glad he called. You really do have your hands full with work right?

    Good girl, keep stepping then..


Say it as you mean it... I can take it