Tuesday, November 2, 2010


I woke up from a nap by the vibrating of my phone. I reached to the other side of the bed thinking…yah!!! the sms at last to confirm that the trip to the beach this afternoon was still on. The smile faded with the speed of light and was replaced by a grimace. the sms read thus:

‘Jay I’ve been in this relationship for over four years, you know I love, respect, cherish & have made sacrifices at different times and occasion to make my girl happy, she does not reciprocate, she’s not committed, she’s impious, stubborn and does not have regard for me, still I love her. right now the relationship is stagnant. What would you advise me to do’

Girl in question is my correct friend…dude that sent the sms is my correct friend’s boyfriend. Earlier in life, receiving such sms’ were the highlights of my day. They made me feel significant, you know like people who had issues, especially concerning relationships would scroll thru their phone and stop at ‘Nutty J’ because they see the light ‘Yes…Jay always has a 10+things+to+do+to+make+it+work advise up her sleeves, I’ll call her’ well they weren’t wrong… I would dispense advise like Dr Phil(omina) and they and their relationships always lived happily ever after. Some I tell (like one who just looked into a crystal ball) ..hmm the way this is going, it’s time to let go’’, if they adhere they are always better for it.

It got to a point where friends expected me to be a role model…like if I look sad about anything at all, they go:

ah han Jay…na you dey talk like this, you be iron lady ooo, figure it out na’’ if I have boy trouble and I confide in friends I hear:

Jay this is not you…you don’t suffer fools…you sud know how to deal with this…meanwhile did I tell you Kome is misbehaving again…the other day he…’’

Needless to say, I was supposed to be the one who had everything figured out. So when I had to break a guy’s heart…or two…or three..okay I can’t remember how many, I did it because I had everything figured out. God forbid that I tell anyone my confusions and fears and worries. When my heart got broken that one time, God forbid that I tell anyone about my broken heart…I did my crying alone where tears would have filled a medium sized bucket. I did my mending alone with a smile on my face, none of my friends ever looked long enough to see the anguish in my eyes, because ya…you guessed right, I had everything figured out…I am iron lady.

So my response to such a trap+setting sms (because I don’t know whose side he expected me to be on) on that hot Sunday afternoon (good only for the beach) was:

hey…take it easy, such things happen even to the best of us. So cheer up

Heaven bless my friends who finally called and I went to the beach…got back home 3 hrs later, brought out my phone to see I had a reply sms from my correct friend’s boyfriend among other sms’ and missed calls

That wasn’t what I asked. Hope you are cool because that doesn’t sound like you. hope am not pestering you in anyway’’

For a minute I was tempted to go into my Dr Phil mode again and send my usual never ending sms where I say all love is and isn't and give advice to the best of my knowledge asking him to stand outside the box and climb the box sef and look in and blab la bla. It was tempting, come on…you know it is. I shook the idea off and decided to compress all that I knew about love into one sms:

‘‘I wouldnt worry too much if I were you...if its love then two things are involved. It would either end well or not end well...so dont worry’’

Then I hit ‘send

And that’s the way ah ha ah ha…I like it ha ah ha ah

PS: Happy November People.... thanks 2cute2 for the new month wishes sms you sent


  1. Hmm, did you get my text message?

  2. lol @ sms...rethots which sms you send me? abi na MTN problem?


  3. from the beginning,I was thinking,"this sounds like me" it can be annoying when people think you have all the answers cos you help them with theirs sha.

    thanks for stopping by mine x

  4. lol, way too go girl....good for you

  5. "And that’s the way ah ha ah ha…I like it ha ah ha ah"

    I like that too. I mean, there was a day you couldn't go wrong, or anywhere, without hearing KC and The Sunshine Band. And, I liked the flow of this piece (well written and funny). And, I loved your basic message (I'm not falling for the relationship advice trap)... Ask me no questions (this Sunday moanin') and I'll tell you no lies.

    I'll know who not to text on Sunday moanin, the next time my baby gives me the blues. :-)

  6. Doll: why you de laugh na...it wasnt funny that hot afternoon ooo..lol

    My World: Yes ooo, its also tiresome...thanks for stopping by

    Neefemi:thanks girl

    CareyCarey:I'm glad you liked the post...but come on...you can sms about luurrvv any sunday moaning...lol

  7. come Nutty (abi i should switch to 'Jay' sef), i get small ruv probrem o. See eh, e get dis babe wey i don dey eye te-tee...

  8. Thanks love!
    If you can be of help to your friends, then please be,
    They might not be the same people you lean on when you down honey..
    You have so much heart..
    Don't shut it down please..

  9. LMFAO OMG Jay I love you! I am literally Laughing like crazy in the library and that's the way ah ha ah ha I like it

  10. Nice Anon: Good you didn't get involved.

  11. Kay9:hahaha...tell me. come on, I'm looking forward to you being incredibly in love, so tell me...I'll go all Dr. philomena on you.

    2cute2: I know o my friend....it just gets tiring sometimes

    Vanity: lol...good to know ur laughing again.

    Nice Anon: Yes oooo. I no fit shout

  12. I have totally been in that trap where you give advice and everyone wants to cry on your shoulder but then you need help and there's nobody to be found! Good for you for brushing it off! You can't take care of people's shit forever!

  13. HAHAH...i totally get what you mean by feeling signifcant cos the world came to you yet you had noone to cry to when it was your turn.

    Its good you didn't get involved sha...make everybody carry their papa last name

  14. My friend to Counselor! Nice of u to go on a lil break jo.

    i find it hard to give advice in other people's relationship, usually they have their minds made up on what they want to do, so whats the point?

  15. that's an awkward position to be in. i think you handled it well.

    i hate giving relationship advice. every single relationship is diff and everyone has a diff tolerance threshold so it's really hard to speak on other people's situation.

  16. you are wise ojere...I like the way you handled the issue!


Say it as you mean it... I can take it