Monday, September 30, 2013

Happy Sexypendence Day

 As much as we want to be regarded as sweet and innocent on the reasons we want to get married soon, or someday, one potent reason people dive into marriage (but fail to give as a reason)  is because of sex! It may not be the only reason but it definitely is one of the strong reasons , everyone wants to have ‘legal’ sex on the regular and burning with passion isn't as comfortable and tolerable as it used to be when we were teenagers…honestly its one reason I wish I were married right now. But one key information we the unmarried ones ignore is that marriage comes with a lot of its own issues...so the least we can do is make sure that our sex life remains as hot as it started out as, and even better as the years roll by.

So this post is dedicated to my about+to+wed+readers... just pretend I know what i"m saying:

-          Sex Positions: A survey by Marie Claire and Esquire magazine found out that men prefer rear entry (doggy Style) while women prefer the missionary position. However there are other sex positions, you really need to think outside the box. It is okay to eat rice and stew but once in a while there is nothing wrong with jollof rice, fried rice, coconut rice and/or banga rice…its all rice, but u enjoy it better when it’s done in a variety of ways. Same with sex, having sex the same way over and over again can be boring. Guys you need to be creative and sometimes nudge her in a different direction, most Nigerian women are shy to ‘express’ themselves in bed so you have to lead her sometimes, you need to give her a reason to keep coming back for more, Nigerian men are a bit selfish and most times don't take into consideration that the women fake orgasms just to allow him feel like a man, but thankfully  those kind of men are not here reading this blog post today, so guys if you need further information on the various sex position out there, click here.   

-          Penis Length: It is not about the size of the boat, it’s all about the motion in the ocean. It has been discovered that most men with massive equipment do not know how to pleasure a woman…they probably never took the time to learn because they have been brainwashed to think it’s the length and width that brings about orgasms. That’s not true… you need to know how to work your penis to get the desired effect…do not be intimidated if you are not 7-20 inches long when erect, as a matter of fact such sizes cause more pain than pleasure. Concentrate on your moves, know where her G-spot is and find a way to hit it every time  and you are on point


 VAGINA:  The female sex organ is elastic in nature...it expands and contracts. As the years go by, and as the children start coming out, it would rather be selfish of you as a man to join the other ignorant men out there who complain that their wife's vajayjay is 'slack'...you must remember that every wear and tear is because of you, besides it takes the vagina muscles 18months to get back to shape after the birth of a child, but a situation where we want to have all our kids every 12 months, it would be difficult bouncing back to normal after having three (3) children in say 4-5 years.

-          Circumcision: For circumcised women, unfortunately the nerve endings have been cut off as a result of circumcision, you will enjoy sex, but the chances of  getting an orgasm may be a lot harder. Technically some women can have clitoral, vaginal, blended, or multiple orgasms, some can even squirt when cumming, but if you were circumcised you want to work hard at being clitotorically stimulated along the nerve ending where u have been circumcised, this will take a lot of work though.  

-       Premature EJACULATION: …not lasting as long as you will like may not be a medical condition, sometimes you can get overly excited with your partner  especially when you are in a relationship that you are comfortable with, that only thinking about making love with her can make you cum quick. So If you don’t mind, you can wear a penis ring; it’s a tiny little rubber…it goes at the base of the penis  to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining an erection for a much longer period of time. You see? There is a solution for everything.


        In summary, getting turned on is more mental for women than it is physical. For men, love making is visual, they like it they want it. For women  it is a personal emotive thing…the average woman will not just strip and throw her nakedness in the air and make love to just any body no matter how randy or loose she is…she usually has to have a reason to make love, this is  unlike a man who gets an erection easily. Therefore you find out that if she is upset she won’t get turned on, you may have a fight with your wife three days ago, it was settled the next day, and while you have moved on she is still stuck there emotionally, there is a disconnection. Sometimes it would take days to work her into that place where she can do sex with you with all her heart. Men and women are different. So while u have done everything verbally right, you may not have passed the right non-verbal signals that can get her there mentally…don't see this as she trying to punish you, its just how she was created. So make sure you express how you feel at all times, both verbally and none verbally. 

      Communication is key to having great sex... don't dull, don't be so prim and proper to talk about what you wan't in bed, express yourself and you will be glad you did.

   Happy Independence Day Nigeria



Nutty Jay







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5 comments:

  1. My dear future husband is in trouble...good trouble that it. That's all i'm saying.
    Leme sha bookmark.

    How are you Jay? I was thinking about you a couple of days ago

    ReplyDelete
  2. You were? Oh please tell...good thoughts I hope. Either ways tell me what you were thinking ooooo...

    ReplyDelete
  3. You sef. Instead of helping us think of Nigeria as she turns another age, you are teaching 'us about sex lol.
    *18 months to get back in shape after childbirth? that's looong o.

    ReplyDelete

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