Monday, December 17, 2012

Laying down here...

...with so much on my mind, headache, sore throat, bills that need to be paid, drowsy from the cough medicine I took, but unable to sleep.

And do you know that there is actually no one I can call and confide my 'feeling-down'' moments with? Oh because majority of my friends can't picture me having issues... They think because I readily dole out sound advise to them, then it means I have everything happening in my life figured out and perfectly fine... and the others just don't wanna know.

I made my New Years resolution (e this year and I promised to be more trusting, more forgiving and love compulsory.  I think I made a mistake by resolving to do all that.

If you trust someone enough to talk about your fly and crazy past and the shocking things you did then and the reasons why...I believe it's because you can trust them to know these things and handle the information as nothing more than the information it is. That its past and belongs there

Well at least that was what I thought. But obviously I thought wrong.

It's an exercise in futility hoping people you meet today will be open minded enough to think the best of you after you've told them the stories of your yesterdays. Lesson well learnt.

I've done my crimes, and I've done time for those crimes. I'll be damned if I allow myself  pay twice for a debt already paid and buried and flushed many years ago. I don't need this shit.

This post started last night... Somehow it's dragged into morning.

It's a new day to put a smile on someone's face...

 Go make some body happy today guys...anybody.

Nutty J


  1. Jay, I think we're in d same boat atm. My sis was trying 2get me out of my mood & she keeps quoting me to me. Too weird but amusing except I'm not exactly in d mood

  2. People are just crazy really. Yes, when you tell a person about something you did that you aint proud of, it means you trust them enough to let them know that about you. I like your spirit. We all make mistakes and learn from it. Nobody holy pass. Smile dear.

  3. Replies
    1. Hmmmm....yes, the sore throat is almost gone.

  4. I think before you decide to trust people up to telling them about your past (mostly when you've done stuffs you're not proud of),you should first really know them and ascertain whether they not the judgmental type or whether they can or cannot handle the information.Because lots of times we lose friendship by being too open,so people are unconsciously judgmental.You could try talking to random people when you don't have anyone to talk to,people have done it with me and they've found it helpful and so i have little doubts it'd work for you.

  5. Oh well, everyone has done something(s) they aren't proud of. But then it's almost impossible not to be slightly judgmental, think its human. Like A9G said, try to know who u open up to. But if u open up to someone who makes u feel worse, shrug it off jor. Shit happens. Merry Xmas

  6. NuttyJ, sorry to hear this friend has not shown herself/himself to be a true friend. it hurts to bare yourself and get judgment.
    If you can, try and keep your secrets to yourself and God. only tell friends who have opened up to you to same extent. Friends who have trusted you with their own secrets. lessons learnt.


Say it as you mean it... I can take it