Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Art of Complaining

[kuh m-pleyn]
  1.      To express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault
  2.      To tell of one’s pains, ailments etc
That’s the dictionary meaning of COMPLAIN

Other words for ‘COMPLAIN’ include but are not limited to:

Bemoan, bewail, crap, find fault, fuss, grumble, lament, nag, moan, and whine, whimper etc.

Some people have got a Master’s degree and currently are studying for a PhD in Complaining.  It’s so sad that they are not even aware of this habit in themselves.
There are two ways in which people get into the terrible habit of complaining over everything, relevant or irrelevant:

-        Hereditary:  I’m sure you all can understand that a child would take after his mother and/or father. If you were unlucky to have parents who complain about everything ranging from the price of bread, to the amount of tax being paid, to the choice of soap or the rudeness of their colleague then there is an 80% chance that you will also be a whiner.

-        Victim Mentality:  This is a state of mind where you believe that everything and everyone is out to get you. You moan about people not treating you right, you moan about your friends not calling you like you call them, you complain about your boss over working you, you complain about being sick and no one is there for you, you complain about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend, you complain about having a boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn’t understand you, you complain about your family, you complain about your hair dresser, you complain about the pastor’s sermon… you complain about your ex boyfriend, in your opinion they all want something from you in exchange for nothing. Even your mobile phone’s ringtone is sad ‘whatever my lot thou hath taught me to say it is well it is well with my soul’…

What you are is a very SAD person and you may not know this, but you are spreading your negativity to those around you…that is why people avoid you. They use you because they know you need a reason to complain later, so why not? They can’t stand being around you for long because all you do is talk about your trials and woes real or imagined. They won’t invite you to social meetings because all you do is sit there and find something wrong with the people there. You lose your real friends one after the other because when they say:

Hello dear…how are you?’ you reply with
I’m okay…this life no easy at all, can you imagine what happened yesterday blab a bla

People begin to find visiting you or calling you exhausting…it’s like trying to walk through a train wreck….very annoying and exhausting. So it’s easier to just avoid you, because guess what??? You are not the only one with issues. Because your friend has chosen not to voice hes’/hers’ out doesn’t mean she doesn’t wet her pillows with tears at night. But how would you know when all she does is listen to you rant and rave every time.
How do you get out of this bad habit? It’s simple…

-         GET OVER YOURSELF!!! The world does not revolve around you. No body, not your parents, not your friends, not your enemy, no one owes you anything. Life is per head. Because you do good doesn’t mean those around you are under any obligation to do you good in return. Stop expecting people to be good/kind to you because you look good or work hard or do well. Stop expecting anything from anyone… you are in control of only yourself and your actions.

-        GET A LIFE!!! Another reason you complain so much is because probably outside your work and your house you have nothing else going for you so you do not understand how or why others seem so content and happy without you or your presence in their life. Get busy…join a club, volunteer at a foundation, go fishing, go partying. Get your own life and stop studying other people’s short comings and concentrate on your own life.

-        GET A VOICE: If you feel you are being given the short end of the stick…speak up. There is no point ranting and raving to your friends and family for something someone else has done to you. What are they going to do about it for you? If you are sick and you feel you don’t deserve it, tell it to GOD. If your boss is over using you and short paying you…speak up and tell your boss. If your family treats you like crap…speak up and tell them. If a particular friend mistreats you, tell those friends. It’s simple
I’m sure you are not aware of this, but there are some people who have REAL PROBLEMS. How you decide to define ‘real problem’ would actually be based on how broad or narrow minded you are, but please repeat after me ‘SOME PEOPLE HAVE REAL PROBLEMS’… say it aloud…say it one more time. Good.  Now you know. There are people in places dying of starvation, people who are in prison without trial for something they were accused wrongly of, people who are dying of AIDS, Women dying of Breast Cancer. You have good health…you have shelter, you have food, you have friends and family (you are pushing away), you are not in prison…why don’t you count your blessings and stop boring people with things they can’t change for you.


Before you start complaining, pause and ask yourself:
a)      Is this worth complaining about or I’m I just looking for sympathy/pity? (that’s pathetic)
b)      Will whining to him/her solve the problem….will she/he give me an answer I don’t already know
c)      Am I medically stupid? Must I talk about myself all the time?

Answer these questions honestly each time you feel like whining and you’ll be on your way to becoming a person others want to associate with. You can thank me later….

Quote:  Any idiot can complain, it takes someone with brains to do something about it.

Nutty J


  1. W-o-r-d! I hear this! I used to have this friend who I'd call and she would spend the first 30 minutes complaining about life before she even asked me how I was doing. I mean, we are allowed to have the occasional rant but I'm not a huge complainer 'cos no matter how bad I think things might be, someone out there has it worse and is grinning and bearing it. Nice post.

  2. Well said Nutty J.Some people actually use Complains as a mechanism to chase potential help-needers (permit me to use that).They start complaining even before you say anything so if you're coming for favors you'd just forget about it.Personally,i hate being around anyone who complains,it's very unhealthy.

  3. I actually have a friend like this. She is always complaining and frankly I am getting tired of it... I wish I could tell her that..

  4. lmao @ "am i medically stupud?" hahahahaha! I avoid people who complain too much aside from the work they start to rub it off on u as well..

  5. Original Mgbeke: The post was actually inspired by a friend... I just cant understand the girl...she complains about every single thing you can think of, its depressing

    A9ja: Thats true ooo... attack the best form of defense...

    Andrea: You can tell her... just say it under stress one Or just post a link to this post on ur facebook and tag her and maybe two other people so she wont suspect.

    Abi Tobi: I'm also trying to avoid them these days... my peace of mind is more important o

  6. I had a friend like that... but I later realized I felt she was complaining a lot because I was her only friend and she was going through a particularly bad patch. So I was getting ALL the complaining.
    So to the recommendations, I'll add;
    GET MORE FRIENDS: the greater the support base, the more you can spread the complaints about and get your needed emotional support without being a Debbie Downer to your friends who may genuinely care but get tired of hearing you complain all the time.

  7. I totally agree with you. It takes nothing in the brain to complain. If we cannot change anything, we should change our attitudes and quit complaining... GET A LIFE! like u said. Thank you jare.

    - LDP

  8. Lmao.I think i complain a tad too much too. But the difference i think is that I try to make humor out of my troubles. No need bugging everyone down with my perils

  9. lol first someone musta ticked u off b4 u wrote this post :p

  10. Gbam! Very well said.

    I'm new here and following

  11. The problem is that some people complain but never bring solution and they do not know it is an habit...nice

  12. @ all: Thank you for the comments... dont mind me I'll update soon...I've just been busy downloading and watching so much TV shows (thanks to justjoxy)... but hey... I know you are not

  13. wow!!!! love this post..too on point..

    tell themmmm, tell themmmm..actually tell ussss


    i will copy and paste those three questions and ask myself before I complain next time.

  14. Now this deserves the "one lovely blog" award! Preach it sis of mine!


Say it as you mean it... I can take it