Its been ages!!!! I think the last time I blogged (here) was 2-3 months ago???
I know what the problem is... it's not writer's block, because I have been writing on other platforms randomly...so yes I can still write thank you. I think the problem is that this blog has fulfilled the purpose for which it was created in the first place.
I was in a dark place and since the only way I'd ever known how to find release/light was through writing, I decided to find a place where all my worries/issues could be highlighted without fear of criticism or nosey people calling me to 'explain' what I meant, like I was getting from facebook friends whenever I wrote a 'note' on facebook.
This blog helped me alot to talk about things annoymously that normally I wouldn't tell anyone. After all I am that friend that has her sh*t together, the one who always had the sound advice for everyone else with issues, no no no far be it from me to spoil that illusion they had that I was cool, calm and collected like that...far be it from me to have issues of my own...as a matter of fact whenever I tried to bring up an issue, it was usually laughed off like 'this one no serious, it's not true...eh en as we were saying...'
Anyways, Nutty Jay's World helped me alot (2010,2011,2012,2013), not only could I freely talk about my opinions, ideas, struggles, annoyance etc, I could also talk about the past of way way back and lessons I've learnt.
But '...there's a time and season for everything'. This blog has served it's purpose, and I think that's why I'm struggling to write here these days. I've done alot of growing up and I no longer have reasons to talk about the things I want to talk about anonymously. These days the things I want to write about are not consistent with the original plan and purpose for which this blog was created... it restrains the flow. Nowadays I just do random posting on my facebook notes, other people's blog, facebook pages etc. I plan on opening another blog, or a website (still don't know how to go about the website thing)...but it's still a plan.
Talking about purpose, do you know what yours is? If a common blog had a purpose and has served it's purpose, I'm sure you know you have to find out why you were created to be on this earth, born into the family you were born into, why you are currently where you are now, and what you should be doing per time.
In a totally unrelated issue, I just want to say folks that life is beautiful...yes it is complex, complicated, fun, painful, glorious, joyful, a struggle sometimes but simply beautiful. All the different aspect of life are inter-woven to bring us all to an expected end. So why do we hold on so fiercely to the past? Your mistakes, your heartbreaks, your 'could have been', 'should have been' and 'I wish it went like so' moments? Why do we try to figure things out that we would never get answers to, why do we spend time hoping and wishing for a second chance to make things right, or maybe this time you will do things differently that will make them treat you right-er than they did before?
People of God there are no second chances in the past.... today is your second chance, tomorrow is your second chance. Don't spend today wishing you did things differently yesterday, because then you will spend tomorrow wishing you had done things differently today. Stop trying to build what God is trying to kill...when you've done all you can and prayed all you can, leave it and move on...we all know when to let go, we just keep deceiving ourselves. Find your purpose in life and pursue it till you fulfill it
God wants to give you beauty for ashes... but you must first give up the ashes, let go of the ashes, stop beating yourself over things you can not change. You cannot receive the beauty if you insist on holding on to the ashes.
Learn from the past, but let go of the past. Do better today, not because you are trying to compensate for yesterday...but because it is the right thing to do.
See you later