Oscar Wilde once said ‘Most
people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their
lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation’.
I tend to agree with him because most people are basically living their lives
for others… and I don’t mean that in a good way, I am not talking about how
you want to be blessed so that you can be a blessing to others… which is good,
but unfortunately that isn’t what I’m up at this time of the night to talk
about
We live our life consciously or subconsciously to please others…As toddlers
all we sought for was the approval of our parents, channelling our energy into
doing all they expect from us just to get that smile of approval or that
twirling in the air as they raise us up high in the air whilst we giggle in
excitement.
We went to school and
sought for the approval of our teachers…and getting good grades became our goal
because we heard our father say 'My boy is going be tops in his class'...
or just to get in his good books...In high school, there was this underlying
need to get the approval of our friends…Doing all we could think of to be one
of the ‘cool kids’
Then we grew up go to the university, graduated, and began doing things
to get approval from the society…Became doctors even though our passion is
fashion designing, got married at 26 even though we knew we were settling for
less but we did it anyway because someone passed the memo that age 30 is the
cut off mark for ladies and they have to make sure they marry the 'available'
man immediately before it’s too late, so we did even though we knew
he didn't tick even half of our check list...we go to all the
meaningless social functions on weekends even though all we want to do is curl
up and sleep on Saturdays to rejuvenate after a hard work week, at least for health
reasons, but no...we still go for the meaningless functions anyway so
that we can grace the pages of City People. Our decisions are lined up with
family/friends/colleagues and societal expectations so that we are not
perceived as social misfits.
Doesn't it give you a headache just
thinking about it? When exactly do we start living for ourselves? Doing
the things we want because and just because it’s what we want to do and damn the
consequences of the actions and/or what anybody has to say about it good or bad...
at least you made them for yourself!!! Yourself!!!!!!!!!
When do we start living our lives for our own self??? Are we so far gone
that we forget that we are responsible and accountable for every choice we
make, how we choose to live our lives, good or bad, regardless of whom or what
influences these decisions? So why don't you do the smart thing by making these
choices yours... why don't you do it because it brings you fulfilment,
and not because of ‘what will people say’... what are we so afraid of? Not
getting the necessary approvals from our circle of influence??
A dear friend of mine said the following lines to me recently:
'Choose your path, don't let your path choose you
Choose your friends don't let your friends choose you
Make things happen, so that what happens around doesn't define you
Because either way you will be held responsible and accountable for your actions
So why not be the cause and sole reason for those actions' ( I paraphrased)
My advise: Don't waste your time living someone else's life...because you see...ultimately...we ARE the CHOICES we make.
Nutty J...
